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Clips from Scrubs - My Perspective (S06E06)

"- Milos is so lucky. - That's what I'm sayin'."
Scrubs
"Brown Bear, thanks for spending so much time with me lately."
Scrubs
"Oh, man, you'll turn this around."
Scrubs
"Buzz feels inadequate because he lost his job at Foot Locker."
Scrubs
"I should not have given you the spy equipment for your birthday."
Scrubs
"I need it so I know when I can sneak over and use the can."
Scrubs
"because it has a hook on the door so I can hang up my pants."
Scrubs
"It's just so unnatural."
Scrubs
"(WHISPERING) Turk, I need help."
Scrubs
"all the other neighbors Donna's barren."
Scrubs
"Damn, dude, you got it pretty rough."
Scrubs
"and that's coming from a man who knows a teensy bit about adversity."
Scrubs
"- Because I'm black. - No, because you have diabetes."
Scrubs
"Hiya! My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores."
Scrubs
"Now, you take Dorian's intern, Brendan, for example."
Scrubs
"He told his patient that it was the first time he was performing a spinal tap."
Scrubs
"And what did the patient do, Doctor?"
Scrubs
"and then she reached for a hit"
Scrubs
"of what she thought was an oxygen tank."
Scrubs
"It turned out to be a helium container from pediatrics."
Scrubs
"Then she screams,"
Scrubs
"Which, frankly, we all thought was hilarious."
Scrubs
"Oh, indeed it was. But you know what wasn't?"
Scrubs
"Girlfriend's gonna get paid."
Scrubs
"So, you called this meeting to say we should lie more?"
Scrubs
"Sorry there, Bobbo, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell the truth"
Scrubs
"whenever I damn well please. For instance, your tie. It's hideous."
Scrubs
"In fact, its only redeeming quality is to divert attention"
Scrubs
"from the very visible outline of your man girdle."
Scrubs
"- Too mean. - Sorry."
Scrubs
"Hey, have fun the next couple days. I'm going on vacation."
Scrubs
"Pretty cool, huh? Check this out. It's really a great package"
Scrubs
"for guys like me. Guests have the option of cleaning their own rooms."
Scrubs
"There's a shuffleboard with little urinal cakes instead of the discs."
Scrubs
"That's funny. No way! Special appearance"
Scrubs
"by Pat Harrington, Schneider from One Day at a Time."
Scrubs
"He's gonna be there signing work boots."
Scrubs
"No maids allowed. You know how janitors feel about maids."
Scrubs
"Anyway, Todd and Ted are gonna get 20 bucks from me to tape you"
Scrubs
"I figure you've already zoned out and have stopped listening to me."
Scrubs
"J.D.: I don't know what the Janitor had said,"
Scrubs
"who are more than happy to be there for me."
Scrubs
"Go ahead, honey. Use your new "go-to" excuse."
Scrubs
"I can't, I have a baby!"
Scrubs
"of our relationship where I don't hate having sex with him,"
Scrubs
"Elliot, I've spent the last 10 years getting J.D. Through break-ups"
Scrubs
"and emotional spirals."
Scrubs
"I had to have sex with him. You ever have to do that?"
Scrubs
"- back in my day. - Muskets?"
Scrubs
"Bedpan race!"
Scrubs
"Put your bedpans on, Elliot."
Scrubs
"- I thought we were carrying them. - Put 'em on!"
Scrubs
"(ROCK MUSIC BLARING)"
Scrubs
"This is a hospital. Keep it quiet!"
Scrubs
"Oh!"
Scrubs
"- There ain't no rules in bedpan racing. - Frick!"
Scrubs
"Okay, but first I have to go to the bathroom. Do me a favor."
Scrubs
"Tie this string around your wrist. If you feel it tug,"
Scrubs
"(SIGHS)"
Scrubs
"How is Izzy doing?"
Scrubs
"Wow, look at you, remembering my daughter's name."
Scrubs
"I'm telling you, your short-term memory is getting better."
Scrubs
"In Iraq, we preferred to think of shrapnel as internal body bling."
Scrubs
"Well, then bling, bling!"
Scrubs
"So, have any of your patients ever died from this procedure?"
Scrubs
"but that's not gonna happen to you."
Scrubs
"I like bananas."
Scrubs
"Look, J.D., we all have low moments in our lives."
Scrubs
"I mean, in high school, I had this amazing teacher, Mr. Higgins,"
Scrubs
"I mean, he was like a second father to me."
Scrubs
"I mean, why not me, you know? And it wasn't my lazy eye,"
Scrubs
"because that was fixed by prom."
Scrubs
"if you just stop talking about them all the time."
Scrubs
"- You called about a wolf? - A wolf? No."
Scrubs
"I don't know why he can't get past that."
Scrubs
"Oh, my boobs do look good when they're wet, though, don't they?"
Scrubs
"TURK: And we'll make the laparoscopic incision right here."
Scrubs
"Hey, thanks, brother."
Scrubs
"It make Milos sad that he have to answer to you."
Scrubs
"Log on and thank me later."
Scrubs
"Cyber-five!"
Scrubs
"- Send. - Dude!"
Scrubs
"Come on, I thought all you surgeons were a bunch of brainiacs."
Scrubs
"- J.D., you should not drive. - I've only had two Appletinis."
Scrubs
"You know what? You're right. Looks like I'm smugglin' raisins."
Scrubs
"ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: Welcome to Sports Talk."
Scrubs
"(CARIBBEAN QUEEN PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"Ah, much better."
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso, what the hell? Why are you taking me off of Brian's surgery?"
Scrubs
"Well, since you told him you were just an average student,"
Scrubs
"he doesn't want you to do it anymore."
Scrubs
"Hello."
Scrubs
"WOMAN ON PHONE: Sir, are you there? We sent an officer."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"- There better be a wolf this time. - Oh, I'm not the person who called."
Scrubs
"- But I wasn't driving. - There's a key in your ignition."
Scrubs
"Actually, my cellmates were a little scared of me."
Scrubs
"Turkleton, feel free to stop by Brian's surgery and check out"
Scrubs
"Unlike you, he understands the importance of good grades."
Scrubs
"I got an S.U.I."
Scrubs
"- Keep that to yourself. - Shush."
Scrubs
"J.D.: The reason Turk didn't want me to say anything"
Scrubs
"You know those two upstairs who got hit by the drunk driver?"
Scrubs
"The daughter's gonna make it, but the mom died."
Scrubs
"Anyway, back to the present."
Scrubs
"Last night, I got arrested for drunk driving."
Scrubs
"No, he didn't."
Scrubs
"Fire!"
Scrubs
"Carl, obviously, I owe you an apology. I ate your daughter's face."
Scrubs
"and over here we have Dr. Turtlehead, who is suffering from"
Scrubs
"a severe case of the "sulkies.""
Scrubs
"Symptoms include bad posture, mopey face"
Scrubs
"and a sudden uncontrollable flailing of the upper extremities."
Scrubs
"Is it possible I've misdiagnosed this malady?"
Scrubs
"- No! - There it is. That a boy."
Scrubs
"(WHISTLES) Beat it, all of you!"
Scrubs
"I can't lie to a patient 'cause Dr. Kelso wants me to."
Scrubs
"See that guy in there? He has pancreatic cancer."
Scrubs
"and ask if he has hope, what am I supposed to say, "No"?"
Scrubs
"walk again is if he goes through years of painful physical therapy,"
Scrubs
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