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Clips from The Simpsons - The War of Art (S25E25)

"Well, we've talked about it."
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"And if you really want a guinea pig,"
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"you'll have to sign this contract."
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""I, Lisa Simpson, hereby promise"
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"to take full responsibility for this dog, cat, other.""
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"Circle "other.""
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""cleaning of droppings and barfings,"
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""If pet becomes Internet superstar,"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I'm getting a guinea pig!"
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"The kid-parent contract."
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"Unenforceable, yet you feel"
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"You're doing the right thing adopting a rescue pig."
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"You know, most of these guys are rejects"
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"from the big guinea-pig mills in the Midwest."
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"Oh, I can't tell you how many mill pigs"
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"we get in here who have bumblefoot or the slobbers."
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"You don't have children, do you?"
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"But this fellow is so fuzzy!"
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"Well, they all have their charms."
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"Look at that hair."
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"Aw, I just want to comb it forever!"
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"Have you seen a pinker nose?"
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"I have now!"
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"Lisa, you've just got to choose one."
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"Lisa?"
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"She's gone, honey. She's gone."
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"That one's fur looks like a tuxedo!"
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"Oh, but I forgot about this one."
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"Maybe I should get that sick one."
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"If I don't, no one else will."
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"Bart, list your top five, best to worst."
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"No, no, no, no! Worst to best."
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"Aw, aw, aw!"
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"She thinks she's decided."
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"Okay, now, you sure you only want just one?"
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"They tend to do better in pairs."
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"Farting tweakers rule!"
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"of his natural habitat."
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"and a portrait of Marisol Espinoza,"
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"the Vice President of Peru."
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"Well, there's plenty of room"
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"He's in the walls!"
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"Pokey!"
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"Your pig thingy didn't mean it."
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"It's just, it felt comforting to know"
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"Oh, well, I guess we have to go"
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"Sure, we could go to a fancy gallery"
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"Mm... hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm?"
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"Yeah, Milhouse played the violin for years"
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"Oh, my gosh, that's beautiful!"
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"Oh, that."
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"That was on the wall of Kirk's bachelor pad,"
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"back when we were"
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"of the chrome frame."
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"This could be our new living room painting."
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"of a really rocking jukebox?"
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"Painting's only 20 bucks."
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"I'll throw in the tiny violins."
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"to me, it looks like... garbage salad."
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"Everyone can have their own opinion about why it sucks."
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"from Kirk's bachelor bad."
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"I hate to think of the things this mirror has reflected."
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"Hmm!"
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"Hey, look."
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"There's a signature that the frame covered up."
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""Johan Oldenveldt.""
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"Here he is!"
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""Johan Oldenveldt, painter."
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""Lived in Amsterdam, Paris."
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"Ooh, I think this was painted by someone famous."
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"Maybe it's valuable."
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"Pfft! You guys are crazy."
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"I never even heard of that guy."
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"It's not like it was painted"
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"by Leonardo Da Vinci Code."
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"Now, here's what makes art valuable--"
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"One: nudity, two: holograms,"
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"marvelous natural light,"
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"classic use of gouache."
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"You're right."
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"This is an early-career Oldenveldt."
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"Quite valuable."
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"between 80 to $100,000."
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"Nobody touch it!"
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"Bart, stop looking at it!"
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"But I want to see it!"
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"No, you'll wear it out!"
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"Wow, the Van Houtens owned this for years,"
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"and never knew how much it was worth."
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"Split it? Whoa!"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,"
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"whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
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"Oh!"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
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"Split it with them?"
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"was worth when they sold it."
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"Yes, they sold it to us."
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"So, now it's our painting."
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"We can hang it on our wall,"
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"Or sell it for lots of money"
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"which we keep."
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"This dude gets it."
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"But the Van Houtens are our friends."
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"If you think about it,"
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"of a kid who happens to hang out with our kid?"
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"All our friends are like that."
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"that turned out to be valuable?"
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"I would feel A) Happy for their good fortune,"
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"B) Proud to know rich people,"
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"and C) Grateful for an opportunity"
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"to learn from a mistake."
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"How about this?"
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"What if we give the Van Houtens"
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"25% of the money?"
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"about the 65% that we're keeping."
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"Marge, you like kindness, right?"
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"So, even if we gave"
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