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Clips from Family Guy - If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin' (S02E02)

""It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a family guy"
Family Guy
""Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you"
Family Guy
"Gumbel 2 Gumbel, Beach Justice."
Family Guy
"Come on, Greg. Let's roll."
Family Guy
"Taste that? That's the taste of beach justice."
Family Guy
"Now get upstairs and study."
Family Guy
"Don't worry. I'll talk to her."
Family Guy
"Always playing with that wheat thresher!"
Family Guy
"I'm filthy?"
Family Guy
"You're the filthy one. What do you say to that?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Stewie, I see your bum."
Family Guy
"NBC invented a new day so they could add another Dateline."
Family Guy
"Sheesh. What a week that was."
Family Guy
"Okay, come on, let's watch the Gumbels."
Family Guy
"Dad, when you said, "Chris finished his homework," were you talking about me?"
Family Guy
"Because if you were, I think you just lied to mom."
Family Guy
"And that. And that. And that. And that."
Family Guy
"I've got the goods, but have I got the guts? Find out at 11:00."
Family Guy
"That show has been canceled."
Family Guy
"We gotta save Gumbel 2 Gumbel, and were gonna do it Griffin 2 Griffin."
Family Guy
""The skillful acting of Craig T. Nelson will be missed a lot."
Family Guy
"Come help me with the groceries."
Family Guy
"Okay, we're gonna get our show back on the air..."
Family Guy
"Just watch me!"
Family Guy
"Can you live with that on your conscience?"
Family Guy
"Sorry. Me and my damn appetite!"
Family Guy
"It's not the first time it brought me trouble."
Family Guy
"And in gridiron news, little Johnny Gobraun..."
Family Guy
"Here comes the rush. Oh, he's sacked!"
Family Guy
"- My son Chris is dying! - Holy crap, no! Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"You just leave that to me."
Family Guy
"Chris Griffin."
Family Guy
"Thank you."
Family Guy
"We need sick kids we can package."
Family Guy
"Hello? What's he got?"
Family Guy
"All right, Dad!"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."
Family Guy
"I'm a nasty, squalid little hobo!"
Family Guy
"Okay, if you want to be dirty, be dirty."
Family Guy
"Mr. McCloud, I didn't study for the test, but I got a good reason."
Family Guy
"I'm dying."
Family Guy
"That's the lamest excuse I've heard since Steinberg's Jewish High Holiday crap."
Family Guy
"I have a certificate to prove it."
Family Guy
"Damn it, Steinberg! Take that hat off!"
Family Guy
"That was just a little white lie we came up with to save a TV show."
Family Guy
"Boy, your face was priceless when you thought he was."
Family Guy
""as they dig your grave"
Family Guy
"That is singing."
Family Guy
"Mr. Griffin, the foundation held up its end of the bargain..."
Family Guy
"That's interesting."
Family Guy
"You're right! There's only one way out of this!"
Family Guy
"That's right. I have divine powers!"
Family Guy
"Are you sure it wasn't nothing?"
Family Guy
"No, it's not."
Family Guy
"From the cats who brought you Caddyblack, Blackdraft..."
Family Guy
"Oh, you out of time, baby."
Family Guy
"Well, listen to this!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad. Hurry up. You're missing Gumbel 2 Gumbel."
Family Guy
"Some other time, Chris. Now, where's my shoes?"
Family Guy
"Don't you think there's someone who might resent that?"
Family Guy
"So I told a little fib, and now people think I'm God."
Family Guy
"Those fanatics are building a golden idol of you on our lawn."
Family Guy
"Stop it! Stop worshipping me!"
Family Guy
"...and Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman!"
Family Guy
"I think the plagues went away."
Family Guy
"- So did the white light. - Oh, honey!"
Family Guy
""is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
""But where are those good, old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
""on which we used to rely?"
Family Guy
""all the things that make us"
Family Guy
""laugh 'n' cry"
Family Guy
""He's a family guy""
Family Guy
"- We need to talk. - Not now. The show's about to start."
Family Guy
"Bryant Gumbel, Greg Gumbel..."
Family Guy
"...brothers, bike cops."
Family Guy
"You talk to Matt Lauer lately?"
Family Guy
"Played 18 holes with him on Saturday."
Family Guy
"Told him he was soft in the Arafat interview."
Family Guy
"- Oh, I like Matt. - Me, too."
Family Guy
"My purse!"
Family Guy
"Are you crazy?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, me and Dad haven't missed a Gumbel 2 Gumbel yet."
Family Guy
"You're gonna miss this one, young man."
Family Guy
"His report card came today."
Family Guy
"No more TV until your grades improve."
Family Guy
"After I get a little bit of courage from my old friend, Mr. Jack Daniels."
Family Guy
"Mrs. Daniels?"
Family Guy
"Is Jack in?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! When?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I am so sorry."
Family Guy
"Poor old Jack."
Family Guy
"He was a wise man, but he just loved playing with that wheat thresher."
Family Guy
"How dare you!"
Family Guy
"Take a good look, fat man."
Family Guy
"And take pictures so I'll have something to bring to court, you filthy pervert."
Family Guy
"Hey, Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV?"
Family Guy
"He failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin..."
Family Guy
"...in the garage that Thanksgiving when I was 19."
Family Guy
"I want you to help Chris."
Family Guy
"Kids do better when parents take an interest in their schoolwork."
Family Guy
"I saw that on a two-part report on Dateline Tuesday and Dateline Gatilsday."
Family Guy
"What the hell is Gatilsday?"
Family Guy
"But the Gumbel show is sacred to us."
Family Guy
"Bryant and Greg have the kind of father-son relationship..."
Family Guy
"...I want me and Chris to have someday."
Family Guy
"Peter, Bryant and Greg Gumbel are brothers."
Family Guy
"Nice. Just because they're black, we can't learn anything from them?"
Family Guy
"If Chris gets his homework done, you can watch it together next week."
Family Guy
"Now come on. Help me get the house ready for my mother."
Family Guy
"She's coming to visit for exactly one week."
Family Guy
"Bye, Mom."
Family Guy
"Peter, I thought we agreed, no TV until his homework is done."
Family Guy
"- Mom, I'll do it after... - Chris finished his homework."
Family Guy
"In fact, I've been helping him study every night this week."
Family Guy
"Well, that's great. Enjoy your show, boys."
Family Guy
"You bet we will."
Family Guy
"Tonight, Katie Couric guest stars as a very perky crack whore."
Family Guy
"Chris, everything I say is a lie, except that and that."
Family Guy
"And that."
Family Guy
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