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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Toast Derivation (S04E04)

"I really doubt that's what he'll serve."
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"- Do you want a margarita, Sheldon? - What...? A margarita?"
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"Oh, hey, Sheldon. What can I get you?"
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"...with a little umbrella."
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"...and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron?"
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"Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right."
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"It was like the last days of Caligula."
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"Hi, bestie."
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"Oh, hi, Amy. How you been?"
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"I know you're devastated that your ex-boyfriend..."
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"Must be killing you, wondering who. Fine, I'll tell you."
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"But change is a part of life."
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"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now."
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"Of course I'll be back, I live here!"
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"If you'd have let me bring chloroform, we wouldn't have had all this jibber jabber."
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"Question. Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?"
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"...discovered the principle of displacement while taking a bath."
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"Better, it has a gold crown."
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"You see, the king wondered how much gold was in it..."
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"The crown was irregularly shaped, there was no way to determine its volume."
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"All right, that concludes the getting- to-know-you portion of the evening."
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"...you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista.""
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"...with a smile on his face and teeth marks on his heinie?"
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"...l'm not in a relationship and I'm totally okay with it."
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"Yeah, it was."
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"I call mine Gerard."
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"Baby, you're not that kind"
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"Long before the cats. I think it was around the time..."
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"I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times."
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"Hello, I..."
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"I am so done with Twitter."
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"Buonasera, Luigi's Pizza."
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"Buonasera, it means "good evening" in Italian."
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"May I say having to explain that to you..."
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"...calls into question the authenticity of your ristorante?"
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"Okay, I'm out of here."
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"Oh, for heaven's sake, now you're being deliberately stupid."
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"- Where are you going? - I'm having dinner with Priya at Raj's."
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"- Howard's gonna be there, wanna join us? - But tonight's Thursday."
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"On Thursdays everybody comes over here and has pizza..."
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"...or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi..."
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"...but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan."
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"Can't we make a one-time exception for tonight?"
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"We could. We could also stop using the letter M."
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"But I think that idea is isguided and oronic."
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"Just come with me to Raj's."
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"- Well, I don't wanna go to a party. - It's not a party."
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"It's the same group who hang out here, hanging out there."
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"I'm sorry, but five people eating and chatting is a party."
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"How come it's not a party when we do it here?"
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"Because we don't throw parties."
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"I don't know, Sheldon."
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"I'm going to see Priya, everyone's there. You coming?"
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"Well, no, sir, and do you know why?"
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"Tradition."
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"Every Thursday night for the last eight years..."
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"...you and I and our friends have gathered here in this very spot..."
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"...to break bread covered with cheese and sauce..."
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"...discuss the issues of the day and, yes, share a laugh or two."
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"But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you."
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"- I guess you're right. See you later. - Wait, Leonard, wait."
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"What am I going to do for dinner?"
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"- Come with me to Raj's and eat there. - Well, I can't do that."
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"What if he serves haggis and blood pudding?"
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"But what if he does?"
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"I'll be obliged to dine on liver and lungs stuffed in a sheep's stomach."
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"Blood pudding is essentially the same. I don't know why he's serving both."
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"What do you wanna do? Do you wanna come or sit here alone?"
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"No, I'll go to your haggis party."
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"- Oh, dear. - What?"
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"Raj's television."
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"I just realized we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen..."
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"...with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left-hand corner."
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"So don't watch TV, read a book."
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"And be a social pariah? You know that's not my style."
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"The audible sigh is a show of exasperation, right?"
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"Right."
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"Was it about me or the dead pixels?"
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"Hey, you're just in time. We made Tex-Mex."
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"- Oh, sounds great. - Oh, Indians making Tex-Mex."
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"Might as well have had the Chinese pizza."
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"- Hey, you. - Hi."
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"That's gotta be fun for you, huh?"
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"Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva out of your sister's mouth?"
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"Excuse me, before this evening goes any further..."
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"...we need to decide where everyone's going to sit."
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"There's no assigned seats, Sheldon."
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"Just sit anywhere, make yourself comfortable."
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"Oh, what fun. We're like hippies at a love-in."
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"- Just sit here. - Yeah, right on, man, right on."
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"Oh, look, it's Harry Potter and 98 Percent of the Sorcerer's Stone."
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"Okay, we've got fajitas with all the fixings..."
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"...so you make your own."
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"Oh, that's wonderful. Dinner, some assembly required."
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"Where are we? What is happening?"
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"Water, neat..."
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"Where are all your friends?"
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"Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am The Dark Knight..."
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"...roaming these mean streets alone."
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"A windbreaker for my cape and a stern expression for my cowl."
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"Okay."
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"Excuse me. Isn't this the point..."
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"...where the world-weary barkeep absent-mindedly wipes down the bar..."
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"What's troubling you, buddy?"
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"I don't think your heart's in it, but since you asked..."
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"Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj's sister..."
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"...we're all forced to hang out at his apartment."
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"- Oh, the horror. - Yeah. Indeed."
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"Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music..."
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"...and his sister took off her shoes."
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"Oh, I have to get this."
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"Umbrella?"
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"I wonder what she's exasperated about?"
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"Hello?"
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"Sheldon, are you all right?"
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"When last we spoke, you were gonna take a taxi home from Raj's."
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"But according to Facebook, you just checked in at the Cheesecake Factory."
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"Yes, I was in a taxi..."
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"...but the driver didn't look at all like the photograph on his license."
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"So I leapt out and ran for it."
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