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Clips from Friends - The One in Massapequa (S08E08)

"Is it okay if I bring someone to your parents' anniversary?"
Friends
"Did he put a little starch in your bloomers?"
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"He treats me like a queen. Except when he treats me like a naughty girl."
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"And they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother.""
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"Chi-Chi. She died when I was in high school."
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"-Do you guys have any extra ribbon? -Sure."
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"Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery."
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"Chandler, I'm kidding! Already you're my favorite."
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"Classic Ross!"
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"Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow."
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"You guys, we really should get going."
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"I've got my notes. You got the presents?"
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"-Jack? -Why serve food on such a sharp stick?"
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"-Can we talk to you for just a moment? -Yeah."
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"While we think it's marvelous you're having this baby out of wedlock.."
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"our friends are less open-minded."
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"We'll see you later."
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"Can I just say, Monica, that your driving is exquisite."
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"What a beautiful place. What a great night."
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"The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat!"
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"Glad we weren't in the car. Did he let up?"
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"That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture!"
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"Sorry."
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"That depends, how much did you hear?"
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"But it was beautiful. It was small, but kind of spectacular."
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"Oysters! Let me feed you. That's not necessary."
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"-Please? -I don't eat.."
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"-Good. -What're they like? I've never had one."
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"-Try one. -They look too weird."
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"And my veil was lace, made by blind Belgian nuns."
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"-Blind? -Not at first, but it's intricate work."
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"-I bet you looked beautiful. -Well, I don't know."
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"That's where we had our first date."
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"I want to apologize. Okay? We were being jerks."
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"-Parker's nice, I'd like to know him. -You better do it now."
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"-What? -He's too excited about everything."
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"There's nothing wrong with him."
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"Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music? Come on!"
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"Okay, it's time for the toast."
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"I know normally Ross gives the toast, but this year I'll do it."
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"but I love you."
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"But she can't.."
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"because she's dead."
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"No movie fans?!"
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"You people are made of stone!"
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"Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever!"
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"on behalf of my new bride, Rachel.."
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"-I love games. -Shocking."
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"They were just brake lights, Parker!"
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"Excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam."
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"You don't have to put a good spin on everything!"
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"-Okay, Ross, can I ask you something? -Yeah."
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"Are you kidding? With the lilies, and the song and the stars?"
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"-I will think about it. -That's all I'm asking."
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"At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary, you give the speech."
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"That picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin."
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"Oh, good God, Ross, how the hell do you do it?"
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"-Sure. -Yeah."
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"-Who's the guy? -Parker, we met at the cleaners."
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"Who said that?"
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"No, he's really great, though. He has this incredible zest for life."
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"Would it be okay if I give the toast?"
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"Even after what happened at their 20th?"
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"-I'd really like to. -Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you."
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"Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it always makes them cry."
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"-This year, I'm gonna make them cry. -You wonder why Ross is their favorite?"
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"Any time Ross makes a toast, everyone cries and pats him on the back."
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"You know what they're gonna say this year? "God, you.""
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"Well, at least one person will be crying."
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"I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue."
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"Hey."
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"Oh, my God. You look so fantastic."
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"On my way over, I pictured you in my mind's eye."
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"Now I'm like, "Mind's eye, you had no idea!""
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"-Let's do that again! -Okay."
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"-What are you doing? -I'm working on my toast."
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"Or as I like to call it: "Sob-fest 2002.""
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"It's not gonna be like regular crying. It's gonna be like Terms of Endearment crying."
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"I'm gonna reduce my parents to sniffling, quaking masses of.."
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"I may have some unresolved anger from my childhood."
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"It's a dead dog."
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"-You're talking about a dead pet? -It's good stuff, huh?"
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"Joey? You got a present for my parents?"
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"In honor of their 35th anniversary, I had a star named after them."
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"-That is so cool. -And I got Kama Sutra for the Elderly."
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"What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt.."
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"And I think my testicles may be in here too."
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"Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog."
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"Hey! Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is.."
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"No, don't tell me. Let me guess: Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel.."
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"and I'm sorry, Phoebe didn't mention you."
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"-Tell me a little about yourselves. -Actually, we should get going."
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"Rachel, look how you glow! May I?"
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"I think you already are."
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"Rachel, you have life growing inside you."
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"Is there anything more miraculous.. A picture of a dog! Whose is this?"
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"That's my old dog. He passed away years ago."
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"There I go again, my catch phrase."
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"-So where's the party? -It's in Massapequa."
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"Massapequa, it sounds magical. Is it steeped in Native American history?"
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"Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee."
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"-I've got the car keys. -We're driving? Aces."
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"-So he seems like a nice guy. -Yeah, I like him a lot."
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"-You want to hang back and take a cab? -Okay, otherwise I'm not going."
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"Thirty-five years. Impressive. Do you have any pearls of wisdom?"
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"It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question."
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"And also, congratulations on your wedding."
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"It's just a little thing."
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"-We told them you're married. -What?"
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"Thanks for going along with this."
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"-We have to pretend that we're married? -I had to shave my ears."
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"You can do this."
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"-Can you believe that? -I know."
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"If you do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose."
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"I don't want to have to lie about being married."
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"I don't either. But it's their party, and it's one night."
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"We don't have to lie. We won't talk."
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"Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan."
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"Congratulations on the baby and on the wedding."
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"-Here's something to start you out. -How's marriage treating you?"
Friends
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