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Clips from NewsRadio - French Diplomacy (S04E04)

Here's today's "Real Deal" for your approval.

"Here's today's "Real Deal" for your approval."

NewsRadio

- Don't burn your fingers. She's a hot one. - What's the topic?

"- Don't burn your fingers. She's a hot one. - What's the topic?"

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You know, at some point,

"You know, at some point,"

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They get a ticket, they don't pay no ticket.

"They get a ticket, they don't pay no ticket."

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like the renegade outlaws they are.

"like the renegade outlaws they are."

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Your relationship with Lisa is really troubling me.

"Your relationship with Lisa is really troubling me."

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No, I didn't say that at all. No need to apologize.

"No, I didn't say that at all. No need to apologize."

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- I didn't get dumped. - So you dumped her.

"- I didn't get dumped. - So you dumped her."

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I get it. Can we talk about this later?

"I get it. Can we talk about this later?"

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Wake up, the other three boroughs.

"Wake up, the other three boroughs."

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and I say it's time we cut them off at the wrist.

"and I say it's time we cut them off at the wrist."

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And now, if you please, these messages.

"And now, if you please, these messages."

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I wanted to ask you a couple questions about Dave and Lisa.

"I wanted to ask you a couple questions about Dave and Lisa."

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We're being watched. By who?

"We're being watched. By who?"

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Just act natural.

"Just act natural."

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Did you ever find that Dave and Lisa's relationship adversely affected your work?

"Did you ever find that Dave and Lisa's relationship adversely affected your work?"

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No. Don't talk facing the window. They might be lip-readers.

"No. Don't talk facing the window. They might be lip-readers."

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Say it like this: "Who might be lip-readers? Who might be lip-readers?"

"Say it like this: "Who might be lip-readers? Who might be lip-readers?""

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Good. Now go and warn the others.

"Good. Now go and warn the others."

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Hey, Beth, is your computer-- Don't speak, Joe. We're being watched.

"Hey, Beth, is your computer-- Don't speak, Joe. We're being watched."

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I know. You know?

"I know. You know?"

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Absolutely. We're just like rats in a Habitrail to them.

"Absolutely. We're just like rats in a Habitrail to them."

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-We are? -We are part of an experiment...

"-We are? -We are part of an experiment..."

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I'm not talking about aliens, Joe.

"I'm not talking about aliens, Joe."

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You mean people are watching us?

"You mean people are watching us?"

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There's a weirdo across the street watching us with binoculars.

"There's a weirdo across the street watching us with binoculars."

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How do you know there's a weirdo across the street watching us with binoculars?

"How do you know there's a weirdo across the street watching us with binoculars?"

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the people across the street with my binoculars.

"the people across the street with my binoculars."

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Straight across, then up about two floors. Do you see him?

"Straight across, then up about two floors. Do you see him?"

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No, but who is the hot chick...

"No, but who is the hot chick..."

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A figment of your imagination.

"A figment of your imagination."

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[ Quietly ] There's someone. I told you someone was watching us.

"[ Quietly ] There's someone. I told you someone was watching us."

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You weren't kiddin'. What are we gonna do?

"You weren't kiddin'. What are we gonna do?"

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I don't know. I'm gonna have to put on my thinking cap for this one.

"I don't know. I'm gonna have to put on my thinking cap for this one."

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Bill, I understand you're trying to be provocative,

"Bill, I understand you're trying to be provocative,"

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but that doesn't give you license to be flagrantly irresponsible.

"but that doesn't give you license to be flagrantly irresponsible."

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- Don't yell at me through Bill. - I wasn't yelling at you through Bill.

"- Don't yell at me through Bill. - I wasn't yelling at you through Bill."

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- Yes, he was, wasn't he? - Felt like it.

"- Yes, he was, wasn't he? - Felt like it."

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- You be quiet too. - See how much more effective it is...

"- You be quiet too. - See how much more effective it is..."

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The issue at hand is that Bill, in his editorial,

"The issue at hand is that Bill, in his editorial,"

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You said that? Yes, he did.

"You said that? Yes, he did."

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You're the one who told me to throw a few more peppers into the gumbo.

"You're the one who told me to throw a few more peppers into the gumbo."

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- You did? - What gumbo?

"- You did? - What gumbo?"

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What-- But--

"What-- But--"

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[ Woman ] Subsequently, the French ambassador was taken to NYU Medical Center...

"[ Woman ] Subsequently, the French ambassador was taken to NYU Medical Center..."

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where he is in stable condition.

"where he is in stable condition."

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WNYX will keep you updated as the story unfolds.

"WNYX will keep you updated as the story unfolds."

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Well, at least we know someone's listening to the show, huh?

"Well, at least we know someone's listening to the show, huh?"

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Mr. James-- No. Enough, enough.

"Mr. James-- No. Enough, enough."

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That's very noble of you, Lisa, but this isn't the Bay of Pigs.

"That's very noble of you, Lisa, but this isn't the Bay of Pigs."

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And Bill certainly isn't President Kennedy.

"And Bill certainly isn't President Kennedy."

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Let's go ahead and break it down to its primary components,

"Let's go ahead and break it down to its primary components,"

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see what kind of breed of cat we're dealing with here.

"see what kind of breed of cat we're dealing with here."

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Good idea, Jim. As far as I can tell,

"Good idea, Jim. As far as I can tell,"

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told a million people to drag foreign diplomats out of their cars and beat them!

"told a million people to drag foreign diplomats out of their cars and beat them!"

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Let's call that component "A." Right here.

"Let's call that component "A." Right here."

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Okay. And here's the best part.

"Okay. And here's the best part."

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Let's call that component "B."

"Let's call that component "B.""

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All right. That gives us components "A" through "B."

"All right. That gives us components "A" through "B.""

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I have no idea.

"I have no idea."

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Lisa's right. French people get beaten up all the time.

"Lisa's right. French people get beaten up all the time."

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Nothing we can say or do will bring that Frenchman back.

"Nothing we can say or do will bring that Frenchman back."

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and we'll air it right after the next break.

"and we'll air it right after the next break."

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I write, you produce. Right. So why don't I...

"I write, you produce. Right. So why don't I..."

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And who has veto power again? You do, Bill.

"And who has veto power again? You do, Bill."

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Andrea, just the person I wanted to see. Yes, Bill.

"Andrea, just the person I wanted to see. Yes, Bill."

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Who has veto power on the segment known as "The Real Deal With Bill McNeal"?

"Who has veto power on the segment known as "The Real Deal With Bill McNeal"?"

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You do. I just said that. [ Stammering ] Andrea?

"You do. I just said that. [ Stammering ] Andrea?"

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And who is whose boss? [ Stammering ] You-- Yes--

"And who is whose boss? [ Stammering ] You-- Yes--"

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- Andrea? - Technically, he is your boss.

"- Andrea? - Technically, he is your boss."

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But now I guess I just don't know where we stand.

"But now I guess I just don't know where we stand."

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Bingo.

"Bingo."

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Freak!

"Freak!"

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Matthew!

"Matthew!"

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Hey, guys, what up? [ Chuckling ]

"Hey, guys, what up? [ Chuckling ]"

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Because I saw you through my binoculars.

"Because I saw you through my binoculars."

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Oh, I thought those were paper cups.

"Oh, I thought those were paper cups."

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You know what? You've gotta stop doing this to yourself.

"You know what? You've gotta stop doing this to yourself."

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I know. You've gotta pick yourself up and move on.

"I know. You've gotta pick yourself up and move on."

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You've gotta find a new job. You've gotta find some new friends.

"You've gotta find a new job. You've gotta find some new friends."

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Joe? Of course we're still your friends.

"Joe? Of course we're still your friends."

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I mean, what is this place anyway? It's a dentist's office.

"I mean, what is this place anyway? It's a dentist's office."

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Dude, if you want, I can take you down to unemployment.

"Dude, if you want, I can take you down to unemployment."

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That's so sweet, Joe, but I got a new job.

"That's so sweet, Joe, but I got a new job."

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Well, look at that. Somebody's been flossing like a good little girl there.

"Well, look at that. Somebody's been flossing like a good little girl there."

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Yes, Doctor. Thank you.

"Yes, Doctor. Thank you."

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They're just, uh, regular leather.

"They're just, uh, regular leather."

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You don't say. Yeah. Oh, hey, Lisa.

"You don't say. Yeah. Oh, hey, Lisa."

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That's all right. Most of my best friends are crazy too.

"That's all right. Most of my best friends are crazy too."

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should pay their parking tickets no matter who they are.

"should pay their parking tickets no matter who they are."

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And because I facetiously mentioned that those who didn't should be punished,

"And because I facetiously mentioned that those who didn't should be punished,"

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some nut went out and decided to take matters into his own hands.

"some nut went out and decided to take matters into his own hands."

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Let me now emphatically state that what this man did was wrong,

"Let me now emphatically state that what this man did was wrong,"

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and that foreign diplomats should not, I repeat,

"and that foreign diplomats should not, I repeat,"

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not be dragged from their cars and beaten.

"not be dragged from their cars and beaten."

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If anyone should be dragged from his car and beaten,

"If anyone should be dragged from his car and beaten,"

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it's a certain ugly element of our society...

"it's a certain ugly element of our society..."

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who goes by the name of Joe Vigilante.

"who goes by the name of Joe Vigilante."

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Once again, I'd like to say-- ♪ Sorry ♪

"Once again, I'd like to say-- ♪ Sorry ♪"

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Or so it seemed. Open big. Turn to me. Good.

"Or so it seemed. Open big. Turn to me. Good."

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I mean, my parents were ecstatic. They were, like--

"I mean, my parents were ecstatic. They were, like--"

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Can you check the X-rays for caries on distal number seven?

"Can you check the X-rays for caries on distal number seven?"

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Yes.

"Yes."

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Yeah. I mean, that is so weird. That is so weird.

"Yeah. I mean, that is so weird. That is so weird."

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I knew a guy-- I knew a guy named Joe Pants once.

"I knew a guy-- I knew a guy named Joe Pants once."

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The guy always wore pants.

"The guy always wore pants."

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what I have just written, verbatim, after the next break.

"what I have just written, verbatim, after the next break."

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-What's it say? -"Recently, some violent acts...

"-What's it say? -"Recently, some violent acts..."

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"have occurred in our city, and there's speculation...

""have occurred in our city, and there's speculation..."

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"If there's even a molecule of truth to that, I apologize.

""If there's even a molecule of truth to that, I apologize."

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"However, there's a bigger issue at stake, one of personal responsibility.

""However, there's a bigger issue at stake, one of personal responsibility."

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"Maybe it's time we all sat down and instead of listening to our radio,

""Maybe it's time we all sat down and instead of listening to our radio,"

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listened to our heart."

"listened to our heart.""

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I don't know. Shouldn't we just let sleeping dogs lie?

"I don't know. Shouldn't we just let sleeping dogs lie?"

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you'd think I had tobacco leaking out of my breast implants.

"you'd think I had tobacco leaking out of my breast implants."

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[ Andrea ] Lisa? Yes.

"[ Andrea ] Lisa? Yes."

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I'm wondering if you saw the charts I was workin' on this morning.

"I'm wondering if you saw the charts I was workin' on this morning."

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- I seem to have misplaced them. - No, I haven't seen them.

"- I seem to have misplaced them. - No, I haven't seen them."

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Look, I just want you to know that I'm still really upset about--

"Look, I just want you to know that I'm still really upset about--"

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Who am I kidding? I cannot stay mad at you.

"Who am I kidding? I cannot stay mad at you."

NewsRadio

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