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Clips from Scrubs - My Brother, My Keeper (S02E02)

Oh, no, I don't mean like that kind of slave.

"Oh, no, I don't mean like that kind of slave."

Scrubs

I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa.

"I forgot how much fun it was messing with Alfalfa."

Scrubs

That's what happens when you're vain.

"That's what happens when you're vain."

Scrubs

- Dr Cox, you're a waxer? - Hark!

"- Dr Cox, you're a waxer? - Hark!"

Scrubs

It is the high-pitched warble of the Nosey Nellie.

"It is the high-pitched warble of the Nosey Nellie."

Scrubs

Don't see many of those flitting about the halls anymore.

"Don't see many of those flitting about the halls anymore."

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and I'm going to be holding her claw the entire time,

"and I'm going to be holding her claw the entire time,"

Scrubs

so what you've done is essentially volunteered

"so what you've done is essentially volunteered"

Scrubs

Step this way, I'll be more than glad to tell you more about what you've won.

"Step this way, I'll be more than glad to tell you more about what you've won."

Scrubs

Sir, Dr Townshend was telling me

"Sir, Dr Townshend was telling me"

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you have some great stories about the hospital.

"you have some great stories about the hospital."

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- I'd love to hear one sometime. - Well, what the hell.

"- I'd love to hear one sometime. - Well, what the hell."

Scrubs

by telling you I have a killer best man's toast.

"by telling you I have a killer best man's toast."

Scrubs

Carla didn't know Turk was using his brother as a selling point.

"Carla didn't know Turk was using his brother as a selling point."

Scrubs

- Baby... - Yeah?

"- Baby... - Yeah?"

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- Say what? - I couldn't take it any more.

"- Say what? - I couldn't take it any more."

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Do something to change the subject. Anything.

"Do something to change the subject. Anything."

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- Yes, we are. - No, we're not.

"- Yes, we are. - No, we're not."

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- Sorry, I've got nothing. - It's common to feel differently.

"- Sorry, I've got nothing. - It's common to feel differently."

Scrubs

- We think. - Neat.

"- We think. - Neat."

Scrubs

Well, if it isn't my favourite custodial engineer.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite custodial engineer."

Scrubs

Help me look after this kid. One of the good guys.

"Help me look after this kid. One of the good guys."

Scrubs

I've got a meeting this afternoon, but what do you say

"I've got a meeting this afternoon, but what do you say"

Scrubs

Sometimes a lady just needs to sleep on it.

"Sometimes a lady just needs to sleep on it."

Scrubs

- I asked her a week ago. - Damn.

"- I asked her a week ago. - Damn."

Scrubs

On the bright side, you are definitely flying solo tonight.

"On the bright side, you are definitely flying solo tonight."

Scrubs

Dr Cox, I... Excuse me, I just need you.

"Dr Cox, I... Excuse me, I just need you."

Scrubs

This is ridiculous. I'm going to find out the sex of the baby.

"This is ridiculous. I'm going to find out the sex of the baby."

Scrubs

All righty.

"All righty."

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- Sir, can I call you Townsie? - No.

"- Sir, can I call you Townsie? - No."

Scrubs

I was having a great time working with Townsie.

"I was having a great time working with Townsie."

Scrubs

Now, Mr Singer here needs a swan,

"Now, Mr Singer here needs a swan,"

Scrubs

so why don't you go ahead and do an IJ cut-down?

"so why don't you go ahead and do an IJ cut-down?"

Scrubs

Shouldn't I do a modified Seldinger? It's much safer.

"Shouldn't I do a modified Seldinger? It's much safer."

Scrubs

Somebody...

"Somebody..."

Scrubs

Whether it's because you can't bring yourself to make an important decision.

"Whether it's because you can't bring yourself to make an important decision."

Scrubs

Or because you're waiting for an answer.

"Or because you're waiting for an answer."

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Or because you know a secret you wish you didn't.

"Or because you know a secret you wish you didn't."

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- Oh, boy. - Oh, no.

"- Oh, boy. - Oh, no."

Scrubs

This sucks, but as bad as I feel,

"This sucks, but as bad as I feel,"

Scrubs

Dr Townshend feels even worse for making me do the procedure.

"Dr Townshend feels even worse for making me do the procedure."

Scrubs

clearly knows exactly what he wants.

"clearly knows exactly what he wants."

Scrubs

- It's a funny name. - Stop it.

"- It's a funny name. - Stop it."

Scrubs

involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

"involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship."

Scrubs

I also need you to disimpact Mr Burnett in 317

"I also need you to disimpact Mr Burnett in 317"

Scrubs

You do those things, and when you're done,

"You do those things, and when you're done,"

Scrubs

I'll think about telling you the sex.

"I'll think about telling you the sex."

Scrubs

Here's the inside scoop. I have leverage. You're familiar with leverage?

"Here's the inside scoop. I have leverage. You're familiar with leverage?"

Scrubs

You'll need it when you disimpact Mr Burnett,

"You'll need it when you disimpact Mr Burnett,"

Scrubs

Fine. Doctor...

"Fine. Doctor..."

Scrubs

- What? - Nothing.

"- What? - Nothing."

Scrubs

- Oh, no, thanks, I'll just... - I'm not asking.

"- Oh, no, thanks, I'll just... - I'm not asking."

Scrubs

This is the kid I told you about.

"This is the kid I told you about."

Scrubs

He'll set you up with a sweet spot at the entrance so you're never late again.

"He'll set you up with a sweet spot at the entrance so you're never late again."

Scrubs

She'll make sure you got freshly pressed scrubs in your locker every morning.

"She'll make sure you got freshly pressed scrubs in your locker every morning."

Scrubs

This is Troy. You know him from the cafeteria line.

"This is Troy. You know him from the cafeteria line."

Scrubs

He's gonna stop spitting in your food.

"He's gonna stop spitting in your food."

Scrubs

I don't understand why we gotta be nice to this punk.

"I don't understand why we gotta be nice to this punk."

Scrubs

Troy. No more warnings.

"Troy. No more warnings."

Scrubs

Bless us and thy gifts we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ.

"Bless us and thy gifts we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ."

Scrubs

Look out for each of us, including our new member.

"Look out for each of us, including our new member."

Scrubs

Help Margo to find her way home tonight.

"Help Margo to find her way home tonight."

Scrubs

Still, something was bothering me.

"Still, something was bothering me."

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for introducing you to your wife?

"for introducing you to your wife?"

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- I don't have one. - Dr Kelso.

"- I don't have one. - Dr Kelso."

Scrubs

Shape up, son. Lord knows you're never gonna get by on your looks.

"Shape up, son. Lord knows you're never gonna get by on your looks."

Scrubs

Right, first of all, at the very least, I'm interesting-looking, all right?

"Right, first of all, at the very least, I'm interesting-looking, all right?"

Scrubs

And secondly, I feel I made that mistake

"And secondly, I feel I made that mistake"

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Sorry, Townsie.

"Sorry, Townsie."

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You screwed up doing something you should be able to handle

"You screwed up doing something you should be able to handle"

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and now you're here to tattle on the guy who's taking the bullet for you?

"and now you're here to tattle on the guy who's taking the bullet for you?"

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- Kelly clamp. - Kelly clamp coming right up.

"- Kelly clamp. - Kelly clamp coming right up."

Scrubs

You freaked out my girlfriend. You want to get me fired?

"You freaked out my girlfriend. You want to get me fired?"

Scrubs

I can't believe this attitude. I've taken care of you your entire life

"I can't believe this attitude. I've taken care of you your entire life"

Scrubs

and I tell you that I'm getting divorced, and you make it about you.

"and I tell you that I'm getting divorced, and you make it about you."

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I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr Burnett

"I could literally sculpt a gigantic Mr Burnett"

Scrubs

so I think it's in your interest for you to start talking.

"so I think it's in your interest for you to start talking."

Scrubs

so I wrote it down and I put it in an envelope

"so I wrote it down and I put it in an envelope"

Scrubs

and then I gave it to her.

"and then I gave it to her."

Scrubs

Yeah, well, so are you.

"Yeah, well, so are you."

Scrubs

Bend over, baby.

"Bend over, baby."

Scrubs

Oh, jeez, Bob, don't creep up on me like that.

"Oh, jeez, Bob, don't creep up on me like that."

Scrubs

and well...

"and well..."

Scrubs

your diabetics aren't on ACE inhibitors.

"your diabetics aren't on ACE inhibitors."

Scrubs

C'mon, Bob, guys like us, we're set in our ways.

"C'mon, Bob, guys like us, we're set in our ways."

Scrubs

in some two-star hotel ballroom that still stinks of last night's prom vomit?

"in some two-star hotel ballroom that still stinks of last night's prom vomit?"

Scrubs

Also, it gives you two days away from the missus, right?

"Also, it gives you two days away from the missus, right?"

Scrubs

Look, Bob, I just...

"Look, Bob, I just..."

Scrubs

I don't have the energy for all that stuff.

"I don't have the energy for all that stuff."

Scrubs

Then we got a problem.

"Then we got a problem."

Scrubs

Excuse me, my brother definitely needs to borrow your hat.

"Excuse me, my brother definitely needs to borrow your hat."

Scrubs

And for the love of all that is holy,

"And for the love of all that is holy,"

Scrubs

Even though that isn't my kid in there, I still want to feel connected

"Even though that isn't my kid in there, I still want to feel connected"

Scrubs

It's funny.

"It's funny."

Scrubs

Run away there, missy, cos guilt trips don't work on old Perrerino.

"Run away there, missy, cos guilt trips don't work on old Perrerino."

Scrubs

If you're still standing there when I turn around,

"If you're still standing there when I turn around,"

Scrubs

I'm gonna have them erase your name, too.

"I'm gonna have them erase your name, too."

Scrubs

Of course, there's always ramifications.

"Of course, there's always ramifications."

Scrubs

- Why would you say that? - No reason.

"- Why would you say that? - No reason."

Scrubs

Let's see you drive home now, Mr Doctor Man.

"Let's see you drive home now, Mr Doctor Man."

Scrubs

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Scrubs

I may have to get rid of the guy.

"I may have to get rid of the guy."

Scrubs

She's not with him.

"She's not with him."

Scrubs

And she ain't with me. She's with Rowdy. Not like that.

"And she ain't with me. She's with Rowdy. Not like that."

Scrubs

What is that now, about 200 days in a row?

"What is that now, about 200 days in a row?"

Scrubs

Thank you for not pressuring me.

"Thank you for not pressuring me."

Scrubs

What's the deal? She give you an answer?

"What's the deal? She give you an answer?"

Scrubs

Here's the 50 bucks I promised.

"Here's the 50 bucks I promised."

Scrubs

- It'll be fun. - Hey, Kev.

"- It'll be fun. - Hey, Kev."

Scrubs

- This here is fit for a king. - Well, that's good.

"- This here is fit for a king. - Well, that's good."

Scrubs

- I'll go get my pillow. - That was good, Kev.

"- I'll go get my pillow. - That was good, Kev."

Scrubs

- Does that sound fun to you? - No, that wouldn't be fun.

"- Does that sound fun to you? - No, that wouldn't be fun."

Scrubs

What's going on?

"What's going on?"

Scrubs

Now, Barbie, Jordan is here for her ultrasound today,

"Now, Barbie, Jordan is here for her ultrasound today,"

Scrubs

- He tells that one a lot. - I know.

"- He tells that one a lot. - I know."

Scrubs

I knew this was a guy I could party with forever. Yeah!"

"I knew this was a guy I could party with forever. Yeah!""

Scrubs

She hasn't exactly said yes yet.

"She hasn't exactly said yes yet."

Scrubs

Look.

"Look."

Scrubs

A cut-down? No one does those anymore.

"A cut-down? No one does those anymore."

Scrubs

Nah. Come on, let's do old-school.

"Nah. Come on, let's do old-school."

Scrubs

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