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Clips from The Simpsons - Clown in the Dumps (S26E26)

"what kind of animal we're dealing with?"
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"Woo-hoo!"
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"Huh? Out of my reach?"
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"Must... make... effort."
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"Yay."
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"Mr. Simpson, you earned this."
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"What's on TV?"
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"Krusty's getting roasted tonight."
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"on these gets a little B-L-U-E."
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"What?"
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"Oh."
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"If you don't let us watch, we'll just go to a house"
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"where some more permissive parents will."
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"How permissive?"
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"Chief Wiggum shows us crime photos at sleepovers."
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"So this is what a body looks like"
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"after it drops 60 stories."
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"This is the world we live in."
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"Yeah."
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"You will always be remembered for"
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"your countless appearances on"
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"the Krusty the Clown Show"
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"and your one appearance on To Catch A Predator."
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"I was just about to say that."
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"Oh, he took my laugh."
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"What a legend. Krusty the Clown is to comedy"
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"but that's over, because it's time"
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"Welcome, Krusty."
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"Oh, uh, sorry."
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"I threw up watching you."
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"Sarah Silverman."
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"Suddenly, I don't feel like doing this."
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"Sorry, Mini-ha-ha. Canceling the bit."
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"Tell the others."
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"I don't even know these people."
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"My only comfort is the roast is over"
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"and will only be shown four times a day"
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"for the rest of all time."
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"because it's embarrassed to be seen with you?"
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"this roast would treat me the same way"
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"as every roast I've seen and laughed at."
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"I thought Swapper Jack's was something else."
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"How could they say I'm past my prime?"
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"Me-- the voice of Ovaltine."
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"he's always reading."
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"Well, no, but he's not a rabbi."
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"More of a flabbi."
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"No, you're not a flabbi!"
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"Yeah, all muscle."
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"In Minnesota, I'd be a supermodel. Okay, I got it."
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"The Torah also says you can't eat ham,"
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"This is why I only call you on Christmas and Easter."
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"Wait, wait, wait. Please, Dad."
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"Do you even think I'm funny?"
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"I'm not gonna lie to you, for funny,"
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"He puts the "ha" in Hanukah and the "levity" in Leviticus."
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"As for you, son, if you want to know"
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"my honest opinion of you, you've always been... eh."
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"I've always been "Eh... ntertaining"?"
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"And he never lived to see me be successful."
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"And today, my heart is that barrel."
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"he was a great man."
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"And, well, he always..."
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"Eh. Eh. Eh."
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"Look, I'm an entertainer."
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"So maybe the best way to say how I feel about my dad"
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"is through a song"
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"that someone else wrote that I hired people to sing."
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"This is for you, Dad."
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"♪ And fought for Jewish rights ♪"
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"♪ Wisdom sought ♪"
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"♪ Rabbi Krustofsky's gone. ♪"
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"Huh? Oh, uh..."
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"Oh! Oh!"
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"Dad, are you okay?"
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"Yeah, yeah, great."
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"I guess my getting-up days are over."
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"Dad, you're eating too much."
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"Oh, no."
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"But at least you were there to share his final thoughts."
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"Eh."
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"No, that's what he called me."
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"I don't know, uh..."
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"Can you stop comforting me now?"
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"Krusty, condolences on your loss."
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"So this is the Bob"
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"whose comedic genius I can never live up to."
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"The elephant and I had our differences."
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"what brings you here? And don't say clown car."
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"I'm a sad, tragic clown."
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"Tell me about your father, huh?"
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"Ah!"
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"Herschel, did you read your Exodus?"
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"Oh, uh, oh, sure."
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"Really? Then tell me, what did the burning bush say?"
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"It said "Ow! Put me out!"
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"How many talking bushes do you think there are?!""
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"Oh, thank you. Thank you."
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"A big needy nothing."
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"Yeah. With extra relish!"
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"Hey-hey."
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"Shut up, children."
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"Boys and girls, you know"
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"that we've been dark for a couple of days because"
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"Who made this monstrosity?"
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"I don't deserve the prerecorded applause of children long gone."
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"Therefore, I'm quitting the show."
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"Yes, yes, buy the house. It'll be..."
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"Uh, what?!"
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"Today is the day the pity laughter died."
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"Krusty the Clown has retired."
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"For a brief overview of a half-century of ha-has,"
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"Krusty the Clown will perhaps best be remembered"
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"limiting the working hours of chimpanzees to 14 hours a day"
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"and the invention of the payment of alimony"
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"by dropping hot pennies from a helicopter."
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"I suppose only time will tell."
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"I'm Kent Brockman adding no useful information."
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"And here's another sentence."
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"You can tell I'm winding it up because my voice is going up"
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