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Clips from South Park - Trapper Keeper (S04E04)

"Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour""
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"West side."
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"Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine"
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"Ike is starting his first day of kindergarten."
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"Yeah, but he's some kind of genius,"
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"- Cool. - Hey, dudes, check out my sweet"
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"- Flat-screen TV, and of course OnStar. - Wow, cool!"
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"Trapper Keeper,"
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"Sit down and shut up!"
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"Aren't you a little old to be in grade school?"
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"Well. "Nobody gives a crap about your Trapper Keeper, Cartman.""
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"Dude, do you really care if Cartman has something that's better than yours?"
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"Hey, Kyle..."
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"Hey, there he is. That's the kid that's supposed to be some kind of genius."
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"Yeah, he's only three, and he's already in kindergarten."
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"So, you think you're smarter than the rest of us?"
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"You think you know more about the world"
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"My name is Mr. Garrison, and I'm the new kindergarten teacher."
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"I used to be the third grade teacher, but I had a little "nervous breakdown""
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"and went into the mountains where I lived off of "rat carcasses.""
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"and now is teaching kindergarten, that's not a demotion, is it?"
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"No. That's right, it's not."
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"- Filmore Anderson? - Here."
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"- Sally Bands? - Here."
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"And so the other thing that makes my Trapper Keeper cooler than Kyle's"
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"- Hybrid with Wellington Bear calculator. - Ready for hybrid."
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"- Oh. - May I hold your Trapper Keeper?"
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"If anybody but me tries to hold it,"
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"Oh, you are so full of crap, Cartman. Metal spikes will not come out!"
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"Oh, really? Then why don't you hold it?"
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"And that's how the relationship with my father sort of ended."
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"Okay, children, well, now it's time for us to elect a class president."
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"So first we must pick nominees. Who would like to nominate someone?"
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"Okay, Filmore, you'll be our first nominee."
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"In a minute, Jenny. Who else wants to nominate a class president?"
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"- No! - Okay, our second nominee is Ike,"
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"Very enthralling. Okay, Ike, how about you?"
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"Well, this is going to be a tough one, kids!"
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"Oh, no, dude, here comes that weird new kid."
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"I don't know, dude. I'm not supposed to have male friends that are over 30."
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"Okay, that's cool."
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"Got it!"
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"You son of a bitch! Wait a minute!"
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"And the last vote is for..."
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"Flora, you have to pick one. Filmore or Ike?"
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"Okay!"
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"Oh, for Christ's sake, you're all acting like a bunch of kids!"
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"It was not a school folder!"
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"Why are you so obsessed with Cartman's Trapper Keeper, Bill Cosby?"
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"My name is BSM-471."
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"because it was the Dawson's Creek Trapper Keeper"
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"that belongs to an Eric Cartman in South Park,"
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"which three years from now manifests itself into an omnipotent super-being"
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"a hybrid assimilating computer linked with a satellite uplink computer."
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"It wasn't long before mighty Trapper Keeper started to destroy"
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"everything it saw as useless,"
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"Wow, that's amazing."
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"- What do you think, Officer Barbrady? - Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."
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"You guys, did I mention that it has a pencil sharpener"
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"and a crayon sharpener?"
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"Walk around with just a plain old Trapper Keeper like Kyle's?"
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"Do you want to take my heart, as well?"
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"You'll find it on the bottom of your shoes!"
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"- I decided. - Oh, thank God, Flora!"
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"All right, who do you vote for?"
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"Hooray!"
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"Oh, of all the juvenile things I've ever heard!"
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"You lost, Filmore, don't be such a baby!"
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"No, children! I've recounted 106 times now,"
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"and I keep coming up with 7 to 6!"
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"Except in the one instance where it came out 7 to 5,"
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"and sent the wiring to the four corners of Canada."
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"That should do it."
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"But here I am. Something is still not right."
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"- You've still got a Trapper Keeper! - Yeah! I'm a genius!"
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"- You can't get a new one! - Why the hell not?"
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"Because if your Trapper Keeper takes over the world"
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"So then you guys burnt my last one for no reason!"
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"But I don't think I can get my mom to buy me another one!"
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"That is bullcrap! And you know what I think?"
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"I think this whole thing is a setup!"
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"And you know what else?"
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"- Can I do it? - Oh, well, I suppose."
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"Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye, fat boy."
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"If you could take me to where Eric Cartman lives,"
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"what you humans call "compassion." It is an amazing feeling."
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"All right, children, as you know,"
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"Mrs. Harris?"
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"You're just saying that 'cause you know you're gonna lose now!"
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"No, I'm saying that because you're a booger face!"
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"I don't wanna wait For my Trapper Keeper to be over"
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"Trapper Keeper ready to ensorb."
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"and generate a whole new era of technological darkness."
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"Well, I certainly won't buy him any more then, Bill."
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"Good. Now all that is left to do"
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"Come this way, Billy."
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"I don't wanna let my Trapper Keeper go"
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"Open up, Cartman! We're taking your Trapper Keeper."
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"Damn it, Cartman! Open up!"
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"- You break it down! - Okay, ready?"
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"You..."
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"Aunt Rosie!"
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"That's my aunt, Rosie O'Donnell."
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"No, Ike won!"
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"so now we've got to come up with a way..."
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"He is in there."
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"- One, two, three. Not it! - Not it!"
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"What are you doing, Kyle?"
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"I need to remove the CPU."
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"- Screw you, fat ass! - Hey, screw you."
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"Cartman!"
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"No!"
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"and stupid country yokels who need your political enlightenment."
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"Oh, sorry, I got a little off the subject there, kids."
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"Guard one to base."
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"Oh, no! Now there's two of those things!"
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"Huh? Which one? It's like I'm seeing double."
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"Look!"
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"Bad pie. Bad pie."
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"This is your chance, Kyle! Cartman is weakened!"
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