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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Bites an Onion! (S03E03)

"Shar Pei-roll?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't try to stop me, because I never will!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hello, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm taking Mandarin this semester."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Was that anything?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You've been on the baysh for a month!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Coach Tannen should have told you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Got to bounce, bro. This guy's late for his grandma's fizz-uneral!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It said I should be a crossing guard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait. Why is Artie Goodman on a waiting list?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's deplorable."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Ooh, sorry, pal. Hope you like ferret hearts.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You've come into some cash."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I did try to roll it out solo on the Today Show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you really think people would go to a restaurant"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, Kimmy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I'm never gonna cry about it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because being rich doesn't make me more important"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or a hooker with a heart of gold."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm like Highlander!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I haven't finished the test."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because I've been so obsessed getting you back together with Mitchey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or Marma-Duke or Corgi Mellon"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You have to tell me when to stop, because I won't!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't stop you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How un-random is that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I'm gonna apply to be a crossing guard right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're so fancy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"--Hey, Mikey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Nah, this is the same guy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's actually our three-month anniversary."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He was in Rent, I think, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't overthink it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Here's how we handle DJ Fingablast."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"even though I was raised Mennonite, yo!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Not interested, Mr. Blast."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"after the park closed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Heroin. Cigarettes. A jigsaw puzzle."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"a star."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's the trolley problem."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This is obvious."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"These are real cardboard people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Last looks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No way! They play this all the time"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No! No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Come on, black people. What do you got to lose?""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you will be mine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Rubbing alcohol?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We didn't even wait to get home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And to be honest with you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I would run to the airport, all romantic,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I should have warned you that that's how I tend to leave boats."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm the one who feels amazing!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to book you a gig, I handled your many tantrums--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So forget this stupid test and whatever"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know what I'm gonna be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm done sponging off of other people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey! Where's the dean?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's about your future."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Zach, what are you doing here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That building is a sideways tugboat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He needs your help, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now, I don't know if he's gonna be an onion or an apple,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"D-d-di-did I stutter? D-damn it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A robot can't do what you did today."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Also, the dogs don't hide from you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, boy. Even I know that's this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh, you can print out your résumé whenever you're ready."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Were you spying on Mikey again?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know you are..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's Gabba-gross!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I used up all my minutes for this!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My mom and I thought that was so cool."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, uh, Andrew,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"who died after falling from a tree they were both climbing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Ready to hit it? - Yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But when is quitting ever the answer?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But its brakes have failed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Go, Titus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Good night, everybody! -Good night!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Unbelievable!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's payback 'cause you stole Hamilton from us."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Maybe you're not book smart."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You two are the only ones who've ever gotten a perfect score."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline, can we go?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because I know a good hiding place and I've got a sandwich in my pocket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Trigger warning, I'm about to say "bunker.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and pretend I'm cool with it when I'm the opposite."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why? She's not into white guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Let me guess."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"C-arf-O?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gypsy curse, or trying to drop the chunk before you come back to me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Samples are my religion,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"life is not going great."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or the day after tomorrow"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If it goes to the right, it runs over five little kids."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, I did it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We should head out too, babe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm going to Scandinavia with or without you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I get final wardrobe approval."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How does your car know that song?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like Melania Trump or Mrs. Claus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's gonna be, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That wasn't a real test, was it, Mr. McKinney?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You must be Gordy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gordy, you need Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Dave would be nowhere without Buster's."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, it might be a huge mistake."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But that doesn't mean you don't have,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We ended up not giving this to Jimmy Smits"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Posting a picture of my sloppy joe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wrong."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Worth it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's either a car"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Michael?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Which is most dangerous to pedestrians?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Taye Diggs liked my joe!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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