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Clips from Seinfeld - The Couch (S06E06)

"- Is that something? - Yes, you're something."
Seinfeld
"So anyway, when they were in my house before..."
Seinfeld
"...I didn't offer them anything to drink."
Seinfeld
"Well, they're real men, Jerry. They get sweaty."
Seinfeld
"So anyone sweaty in your house has to be offered a drink?"
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"Would you apologize for me?"
Seinfeld
"Hello. Jerry, so good to see you again."
Seinfeld
"Hello..."
Seinfeld
"...Poppie."
Seinfeld
"- This is Elaine. - Nice to meet you, Poppie."
Seinfeld
"Your duck is cooking as we speak."
Seinfeld
"It is so succulent, so succulent."
Seinfeld
"Your friend and I are gonna make a lot of money."
Seinfeld
"Of course, I already have a lot of money."
Seinfeld
"Poppie does very well."
Seinfeld
"Very well."
Seinfeld
"Well, your mother must be very proud of you."
Seinfeld
"My mother was taken from my house..."
Seinfeld
"...by the communists in the middle of the night..."
Seinfeld
"...when I was 10 years old."
Seinfeld
"She was sent to a slave-labor camp..."
Seinfeld
"...where she labored for 12 years."
Seinfeld
"Finally, they released her..."
Seinfeld
"...and she was on a boat to America to reunite with us."
Seinfeld
"But she was served some bad fish, and she died on the high seas."
Seinfeld
"So, what's good tonight?"
Seinfeld
"I've never had food ordered in advance before."
Seinfeld
"Could have stayed home and ordered pizza from Pokeno's."
Seinfeld
"Pokeno's? Oh, no. You should never order pizza from Pokeno's."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - The owner contributes money..."
Seinfeld
"...to those fanatical anti-abortion groups."
Seinfeld
"- So you won't eat the pizza? - No way."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, what if..."
Seinfeld
"...Poppie felt the same way?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I guess I wouldn't eat here then."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Well, perhaps we should inquire."
Seinfeld
"Poppie? Oh, Poppie?"
Seinfeld
"- Could I have a word? - Yes, Jerry. I just checked your duck."
Seinfeld
"It is more succulent than even I had hoped."
Seinfeld
"Poppie, I was just curious. Where do you stand on abortion?"
Seinfeld
"- ...she was with a child. - Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
"But the communists, they put an end to that."
Seinfeld
"So on this issue, there is no debate..."
Seinfeld
"...and no intelligent person can think differently."
Seinfeld
"Well, Poppie, I think differently."
Seinfeld
"And what gives you the right to do that?"
Seinfeld
"The Supreme Court gives me the right to do that!"
Seinfeld
"Let's go, Jerry. Come on."
Seinfeld
"I heard that. Let's go, Henry."
Seinfeld
"- We just got here. - I'm with you, Poppie."
Seinfeld
"You're not welcome!"
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm certainly glad I brought it up."
Seinfeld
"Well, you should've seen it. It was quite a scene over there."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry I missed it. - Oh, you really missed something."
Seinfeld
"And I have to say..."
Seinfeld
"...it was pretty much all my fault."
Seinfeld
"So how's the book coming?"
Seinfeld
"- I say how's the book coming? - Oh, pretty good."
Seinfeld
"So, what's it about?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, she's quite a character. - Haven't read a page, have you?"
Seinfeld
"- No. - Big surprise."
Seinfeld
"I couldn't. If it's not about sports, I find it very hard to concentrate."
Seinfeld
"You're not very bright, are you?"
Seinfeld
"No, I'm not."
Seinfeld
"I would like to be, but I'm not."
Seinfeld
"What am I gonna do? The book club meets in a few days."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you rent the movie?"
Seinfeld
"Why don't I rent the movie?"
Seinfeld
"You see? This is when I like you."
Seinfeld
"Now I'm relieved."
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"...how was the dinner last night?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, well..."
Seinfeld
"Did you enjoy the duck?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, Elaine, I was just asking how dinner went last night."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, well- - All right, what did you do to Poppie?"
Seinfeld
"- Nothing. - Well, he's in the hospital."
Seinfeld
"And the cook says you put him there."
Seinfeld
"- What's wrong with him? - I don't know."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna go and visit him later."
Seinfeld
"It would be nice if you got him something."
Seinfeld
"Do you know I've been using the same bottle of shampoo for a year?"
Seinfeld
"And I shampoo every day."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you think of my conversation?"
Seinfeld
"Not much."
Seinfeld
"I would've invited you up..."
Seinfeld
"...but I don't have any furniture."
Seinfeld
"- You don't have any furniture? - No, I hate furniture. I can't look at it."
Seinfeld
"- A pretty good date, huh? - Yeah, no heavy lifting."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, Jerry and Elaine felt bad about what happened to you..."
Seinfeld
"...and wanted you to have this."
Seinfeld
"What's this?"
Seinfeld
"A bottle of wine and a five-alarm chili?"
Seinfeld
"They're trying to kill Poppie?"
Seinfeld
"- Why? - Don't they know I have..."
Seinfeld
"...a gastrointestinal disorder?"
Seinfeld
"If I would have any of this, I would die."
Seinfeld
"Then Poppie's no good to anyone."
Seinfeld
"This is a sick, sick joke on Poppie."
Seinfeld
"How could you be friends with those two?"
Seinfeld
"Well, we're not very close."
Seinfeld
"- They're flown in from Newfoundland. - They got good ducks there, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Very good ducks."
Seinfeld
"I'm in love!"
Seinfeld
"This is it, Jerry! This is it!"
Seinfeld
"He is such an incredible person."
Seinfeld
"He's real. He's honest. He's unpretentious."
Seinfeld
"Did you tell him I was sorry about the drink?"
Seinfeld
"No. I forgot."
Seinfeld
"The best part is, he doesn't play games."
Seinfeld
"You know? There are no games."
Seinfeld
"No games? What is the point of dating without games?"
Seinfeld
"How do you know if you're winning or losing?"
Seinfeld
"Well, all I know is..."
Seinfeld
"And what is his stand on abortion?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"What is his stand..."
Seinfeld
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