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Clips from Arrested Development - S.O.B.s (S03E03)

"because someone wanted a boyfriend."
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"But he was clearly turned off to the both of you."
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"Now, we're gonna need a new lawyer. And that is going to mean about a $100,000 retainer."
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"The best place to look for a job..."
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"but Maeby was just accepted into private school."
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"Oh, no. Not the Milford Academy."
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"Children were neither to be seen nor heard..."
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"Yes, he's like the Steel Man from The Wizard of Oz."
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"Can I get you something, madam?"
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"why don't we have a big event?"
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"Yes. He's a regular Freddy Wilson, that one."
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"and pull my "analrapist" stocking over my head..."
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"Actually, Maeby had been on the set of a film called Snowboarding School 2..."
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"But Lucille had never made eye contact with a waiter."
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"I'm just a waiter."
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"The joke was over, but the lunch rush was just beginning."
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"You know, Oscar winners like, uh, Nicole Kidman."
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"that have nothing to do with our family as some stunt."
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"Do you know the Muffin Man? There's a reward if you do."
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"Then, would you like some foam in your coffee?"
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"Why don't you tell the group about yourself?"
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"and Emmett who asked that we not show his picture..."
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"I understand you've been having trouble with that expensive boarding school."
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"We didn't want this project. It was a co-finance with Miramax."
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"It turns out Jamie Kennedy can't even snowboard."
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"All right, I'll listen to this later."
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"If you wanna skip school, that's fine. You'll just come to work with me."
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"I have glitter in my lungs from making goody bags for casting directors."
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"And that's when he decided it was time to cheat off of her."
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"If you didn't have adult-onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar."
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"- I'll be in the cafeteria. - Oh, he's such a pig."
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"- Good idea. - Guess where he's been getting his money."
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"He's a waiter!"
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"Meanwhile, Maeby was getting tired of being with her father."
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"It's a casting director. Yes, he is available."
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"Thanks, Deb. Yeah."
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"Sounds like you're doing a great job there. We're keeping you in."
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"It could've been the Muffin Man. They never caught him."
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"- How do you know about that? - I saw it on Why We Were Scared of the '70s."
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"They said we owe them too much money. I guess all those lunches."
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"But the same could not be said for Lindsay's chicken."
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"I can't offer to!@%$ them in front of their husbands."
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"It'll be fine. I'll just put the sauce on them."
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"Wait. This is the water I thawed the chicken in."
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"Andy sent me over to let you know he's not gonna make it tonight."
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"Michael was suspicious. I mean, think about it."
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"Just the first two. The others were copycats."
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"No, you said what you felt, and maybe it's about time I did the same thing."
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"Um, I was going to say that you don't know who my father really is."
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"and it may be OCD."
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"Tonight, an Arrested Development you can't miss."
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"The shocking final moments will be presented live."
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"And one of these people..."
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"will die."
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"- The Bluths were desperate. - I assume you've seen this."
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"The press had them all but finished."
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"- What? What is it? - This isn't gonna work over the phone, Dad."
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"That's kind of the point. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us..."
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"- Well, don't blame me. - I was talking to Lindsay, actually."
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"If we want a chance of keeping this family going past the next few weeks..."
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"we're gonna have to pull out all the stops."
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"What am I talking about? I'm talking about all of you getting jobs."
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"Who threw the tomato?"
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"How the hell are we gonna get a hundred grand?"
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"I know this isn't exactly what you're looking for..."
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"- I've sent the check in already. - No, that's not what I'm lookin' for at all."
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"Michael, it's the most prestigious private school in town."
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"at the school Buster had attended."
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"It's the exact opposite. It's called "Openings.""
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"Oh, great. That sounds like another one of those gradeless, structureless..."
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"New Age "feel-gooderies.""
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"They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael."
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"- I mean, I know you don't have any. - The boy who couldn't cry."
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"He's a robot!"
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"Oh, Michael can cry. He just doesn't wanna rust."
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"- Tin Man? - Is that what he's called?"
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"- He knows. - Since you sent the check, this is how you're gonna pay for it."
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"You're gonna be in charge of the house. Cooking, cleaning, all of it."
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"You're going to put Lindsay in charge of the cooking? At least you'll lose weight."
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"You know, Mom, I think the only time you ever cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died."
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"You gave us cereal in an ashtray."
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"Gob, pal? How about you? Can you find some work?"
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"Oh, sure, Michael."
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"As what? A waiter?"
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"- I will have a vodka, though. - What? Oh."
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"If you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know there's no indignity in it."
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"Great. She'll have a vodka."
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"Instead of selling out, becoming housewives and waiters..."
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"We'll throw a legal defense fund dinner. Ask for donations."
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"As long as we don't look desperate."
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"We want 'em to think we'll take their help, but don't need it."
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"I should be seen a lot at the club."
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"Yeah, our backs are against the wall, and it's just hard to accept..."
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"that it's really come to begging."
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"Sometimes it's the only way to stay in the game."
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"Please tell your friends about this show."
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"Michael had asked Lindsay to take care of the house."
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"- And to his surprise, she was sort of doing it. - You're sort of doing it."
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"Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we'd had forever..."
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"and I put it in a pot of boiling water."
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"- And guess what I'm calling it? - Soup?"
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"Hot ham water. You know, I'm actually a really good mom."
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"I think it's 'cause Maeby's never around."
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"You should send George Michael to Openings too."
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"Yes, it could help him express his feelings."
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"My son expresses himself just fine."
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"- Isn't that right, Son? - What? Yeah, it's fine."
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"Yeah, I guess. I don't care. Stop."
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"- I don't know that reference. - No, I don't either."
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"Oh, I don't know either."
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"- It's this guy. - My son's fine where he is."
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"He's got the S.A.T.'s coming up. You gotta do well. You studying?"
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"Yeah, I'm taking a three real quick so I can get a cream soda."
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"- Oh, I'll get that for you. - No, I will get it. I have to get it myself."
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"Just relax."
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"Just check the stove real quick."
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"You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment..."
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"George Michael has been acting strange lately."
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"He may have developed what we in the soft sciences..."
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"refer to as obsessive-compulsive disorder..."
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