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Clips from Cheers - Sam's Women (S01E01)

Come on, guys. In this day and age, aren't we beyond ogling women?

"Come on, guys. In this day and age, aren't we beyond ogling women?"

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Norm, is that the one?

"Norm, is that the one?"

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- Hi. - Hi.

"- Hi. - Hi."

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The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an automobile.

"The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an automobile."

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- May I help you? - White wine, please.

"- May I help you? - White wine, please."

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- Thank you very much. - You're very welcome.

"- Thank you very much. - You're very welcome."

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As soon as Sam comes out here, it's dinner for two at his place.

"As soon as Sam comes out here, it's dinner for two at his place."

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Come on.

"Come on."

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I hardly think that's the sort of woman Sam would go out with.

"I hardly think that's the sort of woman Sam would go out with."

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Listen, she may not be flashy enough for Sammy.

"Listen, she may not be flashy enough for Sammy."

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Really? I don't buy that.

"Really? I don't buy that."

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but it seems to me Sam has more depth than that.

"but it seems to me Sam has more depth than that."

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Follow me.

"Follow me."

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Carla, never disturb me... unless there's a customer.

"Carla, never disturb me... unless there's a customer."

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I think you're gonna like this. It's an amusing little wine.

"I think you're gonna like this. It's an amusing little wine."

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You like to laugh?

"You like to laugh?"

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The great ones make it look so easy.

"The great ones make it look so easy."

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Is there chance that you and I could go someplace and laugh together?

"Is there chance that you and I could go someplace and laugh together?"

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My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars.

"My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars."

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Well then, let's get out of this bar so you don't have to worry.

"Well then, let's get out of this bar so you don't have to worry."

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I do feel like a movie tonight.

"I do feel like a movie tonight."

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I've been in the mood for a movie all day long.

"I've been in the mood for a movie all day long."

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- What kind of movie shall we see? - Something short.

"- What kind of movie shall we see? - Something short."

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Could you be a little more specific?

"Could you be a little more specific?"

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No. No Australian films. I hate subtitles.

"No. No Australian films. I hate subtitles."

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Will you excuse me?

"Will you excuse me?"

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Diane, can I talk to you in the poolroom?

"Diane, can I talk to you in the poolroom?"

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I'll be right back. What's your name?

"I'll be right back. What's your name?"

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Brandee. With two Es.

"Brandee. With two Es."

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Brandee with two Es?

"Brandee with two Es?"

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- OK, what was that all about? - What was what all about?

"- OK, what was that all about? - What was what all about?"

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All that laughing and stuff?

"All that laughing and stuff?"

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"I love to laugh."

""I love to laugh.""

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- No. Not right now. - Sam, we're thirsty.

"- No. Not right now. - Sam, we're thirsty."

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Drink chalk.

"Drink chalk."

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Correct me if I'm wrong,

"Correct me if I'm wrong,"

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Is that Brandy with a Y or two Es?

"Is that Brandy with a Y or two Es?"

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but I'm the boss and I didn't hire you as a critic,

"but I'm the boss and I didn't hire you as a critic,"

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Beer. With two Es.

"Beer. With two Es."

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Why don't you be honest with me? You think Brandee's dumb.

"Why don't you be honest with me? You think Brandee's dumb."

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- I never said that. - But you think she's dumb.

"- I never said that. - But you think she's dumb."

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- I don't know that I think that. - Diane, she's a tree stump. Come on.

"- I don't know that I think that. - Diane, she's a tree stump. Come on."

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I guess she'll do until dumb comes along.

"I guess she'll do until dumb comes along."

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Well, thank you very much.

"Well, thank you very much."

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The truth comes out. She's a total airhead.

"The truth comes out. She's a total airhead."

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- Incredible body, no mind. - Who?

"- Incredible body, no mind. - Who?"

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I don't think that.

"I don't think that."

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To you, Brandee's a one-night woman.

"To you, Brandee's a one-night woman."

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- Where? - Will you just admit it?

"- Where? - Will you just admit it?"

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Sam, I've got a message for you. Your date, Miss Bigbuckets?

"Sam, I've got a message for you. Your date, Miss Bigbuckets?"

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I don't mean to criticise.

"I don't mean to criticise."

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In a way, I was complimenting you. You can do better.

"In a way, I was complimenting you. You can do better."

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I don't want to do better.

"I don't want to do better."

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There are certain things in this life that I really like,

"There are certain things in this life that I really like,"

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and nobody's gonna change my mind.

"and nobody's gonna change my mind."

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I like fun women, hot dogs, game shows.

"I like fun women, hot dogs, game shows."

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I don't care what anybody says.

"I don't care what anybody says."

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Did you read they found rat parts in hot dogs?

"Did you read they found rat parts in hot dogs?"

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And one more thing I like. Brandee.

"And one more thing I like. Brandee."

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So if you'll excuse me, that very special somebody is waiting for me.

"So if you'll excuse me, that very special somebody is waiting for me."

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- Coach? - Yeah?

"- Coach? - Yeah?"

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- Where's Brandee? - She just left with some guy.

"- Where's Brandee? - She just left with some guy."

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- She what? - Looked like the real thing, Sam.

"- She what? - Looked like the real thing, Sam."

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How about a couple of beers for the boys in the poolroom?

"How about a couple of beers for the boys in the poolroom?"

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OK.

"OK."

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Here you go. No, it's a guy.

"Here you go. No, it's a guy."

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Coach, any word from Gus yet?

"Coach, any word from Gus yet?"

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Yeah, Leo. He can't drop by tonight. He's dead.

"Yeah, Leo. He can't drop by tonight. He's dead."

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Ever since you came through that door, it's been Gus, Gus, Gus.

"Ever since you came through that door, it's been Gus, Gus, Gus."

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I mean, it's Gus this and Gus that, and I'm fed up with it.

"I mean, it's Gus this and Gus that, and I'm fed up with it."

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I'm taking you on. You and all your problems.

"I'm taking you on. You and all your problems."

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- Come on, sit down. - I don't know.

"- Come on, sit down. - I don't know."

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Sit, Leo.

"Sit, Leo."

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Sit!

"Sit!"

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Throw your problems on the bar.

"Throw your problems on the bar."

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- Come on, give him a chance. - He's ready for you.

"- Come on, give him a chance. - He's ready for you."

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Nothing to be afraid of.

"Nothing to be afraid of."

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My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black.

"My son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who's black."

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I thought about that. It's a tough one, but I think I've got it.

"I thought about that. It's a tough one, but I think I've got it."

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Leo, it's a problem of communication.

"Leo, it's a problem of communication."

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- What's your boy's name? - Ron.

"- What's your boy's name? - Ron."

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Suck it up, Coachie. Hang tough in there.

"Suck it up, Coachie. Hang tough in there."

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Leo...

"Leo..."

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and tell him you never want to see him again.

"and tell him you never want to see him again."

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I can't do that. I love the kid.

"I can't do that. I love the kid."

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- I see what you're saying. - You do? What?

"- I see what you're saying. - You do? What?"

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Boy, that's good.

"Boy, that's good."

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When you put it that way, what choice do I have?

"When you put it that way, what choice do I have?"

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Thanks, Coach. You're not Gus, but you're not bad.

"Thanks, Coach. You're not Gus, but you're not bad."

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- Thanks, Coach. - Alright, Coach!

"- Thanks, Coach. - Alright, Coach!"

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That's our Sammy.

"That's our Sammy."

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Let me tell you something.

"Let me tell you something."

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There are drawbacks to dating beautiful women.

"There are drawbacks to dating beautiful women."

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You can't eat ltalian cos always they're on diets.

"You can't eat ltalian cos always they're on diets."

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You can't go to hockey games

"You can't go to hockey games"

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Where's the fun?

"Where's the fun?"

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But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex

"But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex"

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for as long as you want it, what would you do then?

"for as long as you want it, what would you do then?"

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I'd help the poor.

"I'd help the poor."

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Debra.

"Debra."

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- What are you drinking? - A very dry martini.

"- What are you drinking? - A very dry martini."

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That's a very classy order. We're gonna have a very dry martini.

"That's a very classy order. We're gonna have a very dry martini."

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Nothing for me.

"Nothing for me."

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We just back from Symphony Hall. Heard Mozart's Symphony No.41.

"We just back from Symphony Hall. Heard Mozart's Symphony No.41."

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What was that comment you made in the intermission?

"What was that comment you made in the intermission?"

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"Give me a cigarette"?

""Give me a cigarette"?"

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Not that one. The smart one about the music.

"Not that one. The smart one about the music."

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Yeah. I said, "It's hard to believe that all that music

"Yeah. I said, "It's hard to believe that all that music"

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Where else could it come out of?

"Where else could it come out of?"

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I read in the programme that Mozart died when he was 35.

"I read in the programme that Mozart died when he was 35."

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Slow down. You're giving us too much to think about.

"Slow down. You're giving us too much to think about."

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I have got to be going somewhere.

"I have got to be going somewhere."

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Just as well. Our heads are spinning.

"Just as well. Our heads are spinning."

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- Thank you. - I love Mozart, too.

"- Thank you. - I love Mozart, too."

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Well then, Mozart must have been 37 years old when he died.

"Well then, Mozart must have been 37 years old when he died."

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OK, we went to see Star Wars again and I'm glad.

"OK, we went to see Star Wars again and I'm glad."

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- Don't. - Fine.

"- Don't. - Fine."

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Carla?

"Carla?"

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That's the best I've seen.

"That's the best I've seen."

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I'm gonna go back there and talk to him.

"I'm gonna go back there and talk to him."

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