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Clips from Seinfeld - The Visa (S04E04)

"To which the judge can say two things:"
Seinfeld
"What kind of cases do you handle?"
Seinfeld
"What is that? Immigrants come over, you show them how to act natural?"
Seinfeld
"Are your friends as funny as you?"
Seinfeld
"No, they're not funny at all. No. I have no funny friends."
Seinfeld
"Hey, I've been back four days. I want my mail."
Seinfeld
"It's mostly bills, magazines and junk mail anyway."
Seinfeld
"- Here's my card. - Oh, okay. Thank you."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hey, how you doing?"
Seinfeld
"You would not believe what just happened."
Seinfeld
"- The one who just left? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"And so we started talking and she's this lawyer, who's incredible."
Seinfeld
"You know, everything I said was funny."
Seinfeld
"She laughed at everything I said. She thinks I'm hilarious."
Seinfeld
"You know, in a way, it was almost too good."
Seinfeld
"I started so good, I can't go anyplace but down now, you know."
Seinfeld
"I got no place to go."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, well, guess it's all over."
Seinfeld
"- It is. Hey, Babu! - Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Look at you. You got the job."
Seinfeld
"- Yes, they give me job, thanks to you. - I didn't do anything."
Seinfeld
"- Come on. - You very good man."
Seinfeld
"You see, this is what I do with women."
Seinfeld
"I start out too strong."
Seinfeld
"What good is real? They don't want real. They want funny."
Seinfeld
"- No, they don't. No. - Oh, yes, they do, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"You gotta put on a show. You always gotta give them a big show."
Seinfeld
"You always have to be on. Otherwise, why would they like me?"
Seinfeld
"They'd just go for a better-looking guy with more money."
Seinfeld
"You mean that's true? I'm right?"
Seinfeld
"- Yes. Everything wonderful. - I'll see you around the building."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you in the building."
Seinfeld
"- Remember Babu Bhatt? - Who's he?"
Seinfeld
"...from the building last year and he wasn't doing so well?"
Seinfeld
"I told him he should make it into all-Pakistani."
Seinfeld
"- It drove him out of business. - Right."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Can you bring my mail then please?"
Seinfeld
"- What mail? - I picked up his mail..."
Seinfeld
"- ... while he was on the road. - Why didn't Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, right. When's he coming back?"
Seinfeld
"His whole life is a fantasy camp."
Seinfeld
"People should plunk down $2000 to live like him for a week."
Seinfeld
"Do nothing, fall ass backwards in the money..."
Seinfeld
"That's a fantasy camp."
Seinfeld
"If you're gonna go out with this lawyer, have dinner with us."
Seinfeld
"Then you can go to the auto show with her if you want."
Seinfeld
"Have a little company. Take the pressure off."
Seinfeld
"Stop it, you're killing me!"
Seinfeld
"Never heard of corduroy. True story. True story."
Seinfeld
"Funny."
Seinfeld
"Well, I think I'm better off going one-on-one."
Seinfeld
"I don't know why you wanna play man-to-man when you could play zone."
Seinfeld
"She might not be comfortable."
Seinfeld
"Why? We're all very nice. We're very friendly."
Seinfeld
"- We'll be funny. - No. No."
Seinfeld
"It's not good. I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"All right. If you change your mind, we'll wind up at Isabella's around 7."
Seinfeld
"No. No Isabella's. I don't want to go."
Seinfeld
"Excellent."
Seinfeld
"No, I talked him into it."
Seinfeld
"The turbo quadramatic transmission..."
Seinfeld
"...offers you the power and prestige to propel you..."
Seinfeld
"...well into the 21 st century."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Cheryl, this is Elaine and Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Why don't we put these together."
Seinfeld
"Jerry. Jerry, tell them that funny story you were telling me-"
Seinfeld
"No. No."
Seinfeld
"No, George, it's so funny. We saw this cab driver's picture, right?"
Seinfeld
"The service is so slow here. By the time you get anything..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Cheryl, can I ask you a legal question?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I ran out to apologize to a virgin, and I crossed against the light..."
Seinfeld
"Is your-? Is your last name Benes?"
Seinfeld
"- How did you know? - Oh, God! Ping is my cousin."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, my God. - Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe it. This is such a coincidence."
Seinfeld
"I know."
Seinfeld
"Wow. Well, I-"
Seinfeld
"I can't believe it."
Seinfeld
"- What? - I don't think it's such a great idea..."
Seinfeld
"- ... for you to sit here. - Why not?"
Seinfeld
"He thinks if you're funny, he might not look so funny."
Seinfeld
"- Biff. - What?"
Seinfeld
"- You're not worried about that? - No, of course not."
Seinfeld
"He thinks that if a woman sees a guy put on a better show..."
Seinfeld
"...she'll walk out on his show, go see the other show."
Seinfeld
"Well, should we leave?"
Seinfeld
"Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking."
Seinfeld
"This woman thinks I'm funny."
Seinfeld
"This is so ridiculous. Can we just go over there?"
Seinfeld
"Look, I don't have to be funny. I don't care."
Seinfeld
"- You don't? - No way."
Seinfeld
"It's completely under my control."
Seinfeld
"No, it's not. You cannot not be funny."
Seinfeld
"A little."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"It's funny."
Seinfeld
"Welcome back."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. It was my aunt's birthday. She makes such a big deal about it."
Seinfeld
"Well, nobody likes to get old, right?"
Seinfeld
"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by..."
Seinfeld
"...and how little we've grown."
Seinfeld
"But for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives..."
Seinfeld
"...inevitably, irrevocably."
Seinfeld
"Funny guy, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, listen. So guess what."
Seinfeld
"Drop the case?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah. No kidding. That lawyer was gonna charge me a fortune."
Seinfeld
"Oh, great. Birth announcement from Arnie and Joy Harris."
Seinfeld
"Hear that? Guess who's back."
Seinfeld
"Why?"
Seinfeld
"I was waiting for you, and this woman was sitting at the counter."
Seinfeld
"No, you do everything. Get me job, get me place to live."
Seinfeld
"Okay, great. Well, I'm glad everything worked out."
Seinfeld
"Remember that guy, opened the restaurant..."
Seinfeld
"...mooch food and have sex without dating."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - No, it's too trendy. No Isabella's."
Seinfeld
"In fact, let's toast to toast."
Seinfeld
"Look who's here. Georgie boy."
Seinfeld
"Hi. Nice to meet you."
Seinfeld
"You know, we should really order."
Seinfeld
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