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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Mr. Santiago (S04E04)

"- Nope. - As wet as you can..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Boyle, just say it'll be good, man."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It'll be good, man."
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"Well, I gotta go start getting ready."
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"Don't be late or I'll slit your throats."
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"You don't have to fake laugh. We know you mean it."
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"Good."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So, meeting Amy's dad for the first time, huh?"
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"- You nervous? - Yeah, a little."
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"- I was talking to Jake. - No, Sarge, I am not nervous."
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"I'm confident that I'll make a great first impression"
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"Why'd you do it with a British accent?"
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"I felt like doing the Cuban accent"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Very good call. - Yeah."
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"My advice: don't be overconfident."
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"The first time I met Kevin's parents,"
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"I called Brahm's "Funf Gesange""
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"opus 106 when it is, obviously, opus 104."
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"They haven't spoken to me since."
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"Really? Just for that?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes... also because they're huge homophobes"
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"who think that I made Kevin gay with my magic genitalia."
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"That's super sad, but I do like hearing you say"
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"the word "genitalia.""
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"Well, I am ready for this."
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"I pulled a full Amy and researched the crap out of him."
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"Made this sweet binder."
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"Just a couple of factoids about Victor:"
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"He's an ex-cop, 65 years old,"
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"married for 36 years, Cuban, his favorite food..."
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"Flavor First beefy dog food."
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"Wait, no, sorry."
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"That's his dog's favorite food."
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"His favorite food is..."
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"corn."
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"the type of person I need to be in order for him to think"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- I'm good enough for Amy. - No, Jake, you're fine."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Just flash him your baby browns,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"he'll love it. Just be yourself."
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"Be myself? Charles, I have one day"
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"to win over Amy's dad. How long did it take"
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"before you guys started liking me?"
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"- Couple weeks. - Six months."
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"- Jury's still out. - See, Charles?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
""Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I hope you're not telling Nikolaj that crap."
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"Ugh."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, we're running out of time."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"or crown fold? Now, the crown is more showy,"
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"but the bishop hat has a certain dignity."
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"I'll kill myself if it's not the crown fold."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, okay, thanks."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sometimes you have to pretend to care about napkins"
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"to stop hearing about napkins."
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"Sorry I'm late, guys."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Had to get my ax sharpened."
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"Why do you have an ax? Also, nice ax."
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"Thank you. It's for the turkey,"
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"so I can chop its head off when it gets here."
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"- Chop its head off? - I ordered a live turkey."
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"It's being delivered. Because you know what they say:"
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"The yummiest turkey is the one that just died in your hands."
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"Charles, you can't kill an animal in here."
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"That's horrible. It's disgusting."
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"It's getting late. Don't make a mess."
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"Relax. It's not the first turkey"
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"I've killed in a friend's bathtub."
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"It isn't?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And now back to the Lexington Thanksgiving Day Dog Show."
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"Oh, look at her. Sloping, clean-cut,"
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"forequarters, cocksure gait."
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"She's majestic,"
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"and she knows it."
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"- Pimento's here. - Ah, Adrian."
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"So you made it. Happy Thanksgiving."
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"Is it?"
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"Something wrong?"
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"Feel no pressure to talk about it."
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"for seven months, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
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"Oh, well, that's unfortunate."
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"I know how much being a cop meant to you."
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"I guess I could be a teacher."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
""obviously Istanbul. What did you say to me?"
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""No, maybe you're wasting your life."
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""Sorry, Principal Ramos, I didn't see you there."
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""Wait, Travis is your son? Hah, well, I guess you're"
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""just gonna have to fire me. Fired? Me? How dare you, sir."
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"We will settle..." See, it just wouldn't work."
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"Hmm. You know, I had a friend"
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"He became a private investigator."
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"- Mm. - I like that."
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""Hello, Mr. Branville,"
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""Have a seat, you're not gonna like this."
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""What do you mean you knew that already?"
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""You killed her?"
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""And are framing me for the murder?"
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""I just left my prints all over the crime scene."
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"Oh, you are an evil Ge...""
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"This... this I could get on board for."
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"- Hmm. - Only problem is,"
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"I could lend you the money."
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"Think of it as an investment"
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"from someone who believes in you."
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"Wow, thanks, Captain. That means every..."
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"Whoa, hang on, you carry a check book with you?"
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"'Course, you never know when you're gonna need groceries."
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"So cool."
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"Where are you?"
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"Picking up Amy's dad at the airport."
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"Ooh, that's a strong move."
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"Oh, yeah, you wouldn't recognize me."
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"I'm wearing a sweater, I bought new shoes,"
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"I put something on my face called "moisturizer.""
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"- It's amazing. - Did you clean your car?"
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"I did, but it didn't really take,"
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"so I just rented a new one, but here's the best part:"
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"I printed out a sign especially for him using"
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"his favorite font, Garamond."
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"Who has a favorite font?"
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"Oh, here he comes. Gotta go, bye."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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