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Clips from King of the Hill - Keeping Up with Our Joneses (S01E01)

"All right, Joe Camel, you wanna smoke, let's go smoke."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Now look here, you are gonna smoke this entire carton."
King of the Hill
"I thought you said you didn't want me to smoke anymore."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Oh, this'll take care of that, believe me."
King of the Hill
"Joseph, I understand you smoked your first cigarette today."
King of the Hill
"Whoa! Hold on, son!"
King of the Hill
"I want you to keep an open mind, so you can make an informed decision."
King of the Hill
"or go straight to the horse's mouth and get the facts from the tobacco industry!"
King of the Hill
"For God sakes, Bobby, what nationality are you?"
King of the Hill
"American."
King of the Hill
"Then why are you holding your cigarette..."
King of the Hill
"Why does it matter?"
King of the Hill
"That's not the right sort of attitude for you to have."
King of the Hill
"Okay."
King of the Hill
"HANK: No, I said American. Here, let me show you."
King of the Hill
"[Bluesy instrumental music]"
King of the Hill
"You gotta inhale slow."
King of the Hill
"You see?"
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: [Coughing] Okay."
King of the Hill
"Wait a minute. Let me show you one more time."
King of the Hill
"How come you smoked?"
King of the Hill
"Pretty keen, huh?"
King of the Hill
"The trick is to get your thumb under the filter."
King of the Hill
"But, of course, smoking is wrong..."
King of the Hill
"so you'll have to try this with a dowel or something."
King of the Hill
"[Moaning]"
King of the Hill
"[Moaning]"
King of the Hill
"Come on. Only one pack left."
King of the Hill
"I think I'm gonna barf."
King of the Hill
"You see, raising a boy is like fixing a radiator."
King of the Hill
"What's wrong, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Why do you always ask me that?"
King of the Hill
"What's wrong with you? How does that sound, for a change?"
King of the Hill
"Well, I just asked you once."
King of the Hill
"No, I took care of that."
King of the Hill
"I made him smoke a whole carton until he was as sick as he's ever been in his life."
King of the Hill
"Hank Hill! What on God's earth were you thinking?"
King of the Hill
"He's just a little boy."
King of the Hill
"Peggy, it's late. I'm tired. Let's just go to sleep."
King of the Hill
"Okay."
King of the Hill
"HANK: I gotta go do some stuff."
King of the Hill
"Hey there, Enrique."
King of the Hill
"Sorry, Mr. Hill. I know I'm not supposed to be smoking."
King of the Hill
"I like stories."
King of the Hill
"I like stories about pinatas."
King of the Hill
"In fact, I like everything you have to say."
King of the Hill
"Let's me and you visit your hometown sometime..."
King of the Hill
"the way you had the courtesy to come see mine."
King of the Hill
"I'd be honored for you to meet my family."
King of the Hill
"Oh, no! My wife!"
King of the Hill
"Hi, Hank. Honey, can you take a lunch break?"
King of the Hill
"Sure."
King of the Hill
"[Can rattling]"
King of the Hill
"Is your heart racing?"
King of the Hill
"Are you upset?"
King of the Hill
"Now you know how I feel when you eat my make-ups!"
King of the Hill
"and enjoy life for all its rich, mellow flavor."
King of the Hill
"Well..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby vomited with one pack to go."
King of the Hill
"I know, but, well..."
King of the Hill
"Hey, doesn't the smell take you back?"
King of the Hill
"[People screaming]"
King of the Hill
"Hey, wait a minute."
King of the Hill
"That feels like what? A hundred years ago."
King of the Hill
"It doesn't have to."
King of the Hill
"Shouldn't we be getting home?"
King of the Hill
"No, Hank. Let's just stay a moment longer."
King of the Hill
"Fine day, isn't it, boy?"
King of the Hill
"[Laughs]"
King of the Hill
"Well, I found the "tile." Thank you very much, Peggy."
King of the Hill
"but there's still some more "tile" for you to look at."
King of the Hill
"You know, I think I will save the rest of my "tile" for after breakfast."
King of the Hill
"Will you stop talking about your stupid tile?"
King of the Hill
"Let's go eat at that place we used to go when we smoked..."
King of the Hill
"with the jazz combo."
King of the Hill
"Yep."
King of the Hill
"Yep."
King of the Hill
"Mmm. Hmm."
King of the Hill
"Go messing up my head with that dang old secondary nicotine like that, man."
King of the Hill
"Welcome back, friend!"
King of the Hill
"Dale, get off of me."
King of the Hill
"Where is old Smokey? We would love to say hi."
King of the Hill
"Smokey's no longer with us."
King of the Hill
"[Gasping]"
King of the Hill
"[People coughing]"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: What're you doing with that cigarette? You'll burn the house down!"
King of the Hill
"I think you do."
King of the Hill
"Don't you know that more people die of smoking than die..."
King of the Hill
"I'm begging you, put out your cigarettes, and keep them out!"
King of the Hill
"She's right, Hank."
King of the Hill
"How can we expect Bobby to quit when we won't?"
King of the Hill
"We're the adults. We have to set an example."
King of the Hill
"LEADER: Future non-smokers, take a look to your left."
King of the Hill
"Now take a look to your right. Who do you see?"
King of the Hill
"Don't be shy. There are no wrong answers here."
King of the Hill
"MAN: I see a caring human being? LEADER: No."
King of the Hill
"You see your buddies for a better life!"
King of the Hill
"I've got the strangest feeling someone's gonna kick his ass."
King of the Hill
"Come on, Hank. Will you just give it a chance?"
King of the Hill
"BILL: Yes, buddy. Give it a chance."
King of the Hill
"Well, I know you think of me as a pretty together guy..."
King of the Hill
"but sometimes I need a little help."
King of the Hill
"Just six nights a week for 20 years."
King of the Hill
"LEADER: Looks like someone found a buddy!"
King of the Hill
"Hey, there. Tell us your name and how long you've been smoking."
King of the Hill
"I'd rather not."
King of the Hill
"I understand. It's not easy to admit we're weak."
King of the Hill
"You're calling me weak? Look at your little birdie arms!"
King of the Hill
"They're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms!"
King of the Hill
"Come on, Dad. Open up."
King of the Hill
"Is this your son?"
King of the Hill
"It's beautiful how you came out to support your daddy."
King of the Hill
"I'm a smoker, too."
King of the Hill
"Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton."
King of the Hill
"[Murmuring]"
King of the Hill
"Wait a minute. I didn't "let" him, I made him. It was a punishment."
King of the Hill
"- Can I get a new buddy? - What is wrong with him?"
King of the Hill
"You are sick, sir! You shouldn't be allowed to have children!"
King of the Hill
"Now, hold on a minute here. I didn't bring my family here to be yelled at."
King of the Hill
"I don't think I like this club."
King of the Hill
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