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Clips from Bad Santa (2003)

"Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Let's tell him what you want for Christmas."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Management's gonna hear about this. - You think that's a threat?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"If you think you can make my fucking life any worse, go right ahead."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Can I help you, ma’am? - Just looking."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Hello ma’am, can I help?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, they’re designer sunglasses but they’re at knockoff prices."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Cut the bullshit, I’m just looking."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Um, yeah. Thank you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Nothing I can help you with, huh?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Get your hands out of my pants, man!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"You're stealing from the store, you're stealing from me."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- I was gonna pay for it. - Wrong answer."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I think America has a sad future ahead of it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And you're part of this sorry-ass generation."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- What you want to be when you grow up? - I don't know."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Take it off."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- But my grandmother gave... - Take it off."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't care who gave it to you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't care if it choke you to death."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- But can I have... - Get! Happy Kwanzaa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And pull your damn pants up!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is that it?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"For Christ's sake, make a move and stick with it, would you?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"King me."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You lousy, cheating little fucking shit!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Want to play again?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: And a hot dog and sausages to feed a small army."
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: Not one, but two delicious rotisserie chickens."
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: A dozen tasty juicy lamb chops."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Fuck me, Santa. Fuck me, Santa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: A 6 1/2-pound honey ham. 4 freshly caught whole trout."
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: Scrumptious 6 1/2-pound standing rib roast."
Bad Santa (2003)
"MAN ON TV: And everybody’s favorite, baby back ribs."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Such a nice place here you got."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Needs a little bit of a woman's touch."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I just rent the fucking place anyway."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't know. Just through the holidays."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You know, then I'll move on."
Bad Santa (2003)
"So, do you like kids?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Fuck, no!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I just mean because you're Santa Claus."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, good."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah, they're something else, those kids."
Bad Santa (2003)
"The fact of the matter is, I'm not Santa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Like ya anyway."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Shut up."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Bye."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Roger, you're home. Let me fix you some sandwiches."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- What the hell happened to you?! - I cut my hand by mistake! Ow!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Of course it was by mistake. - Ow!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I was just trying to help you!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I forgot to say, It's gonna sting a little bit. That’s all"
Bad Santa (2003)
"God damn it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"They run you ragged."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Morning, team."
Bad Santa (2003)
"It's not quite 8:00 yet."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, how close are we?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"You tear your ball again?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't think so."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Get the ladder and put it over here."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- You’re in? - Yeah, I’m in. I’m trying to find out where the hell I’m going."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Sweetheart, don't romance 'em, now. Go on and get in there. I can take it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"All right. Now you're talking. Oh, hold on one minute."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Baby, baby. Baby, baby. Don't use that one. That's not the stuff."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Use something with some claws to it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah, that hard candy. That's it right there."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Yeah, I'm back. - The guy's Roger Merman."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Number 8."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Do you live at 41 Sage Terrace?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is it Grandma? Is my son all right?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Houseguests?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, it's fucked."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Yeah? - Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- He curses. - Yeah?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- But never around children. - Oh."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- No criminal record. No parking tickets for Christ’s sake. - Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Sex, yeah. But man is a sexual being."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- You can't do shit about that, Jack. - No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"No, of course not. I'm not advocating celibacy."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Yeah. - Fucks large women."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What can I say?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Hey, look, it's the retard again."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Done."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Is that your underwear? - Part of it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- But now I changed my mind. - Yeah, what?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"who pull on my underwear."
Bad Santa (2003)
"He could take his orders from the talking walnut,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"so it wouldn't be my bad thing."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Jesus, kid. When I was your age, I didn't need no fucking gorilla,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Four kids beat me up and I went crying to my daddy. You know what he did?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"What the fuck? No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"When he wasn't busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck."
Bad Santa (2003)
"The world ain't fair. You gotta take what you need when you can get it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You’re gonna have to quit being a pussy and kick these kids in the balls or something."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Or don't. Shit, I don't care. Just leave me out of it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Go get the next lucky boy or girl, okay?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Open the ropes there, Marcus."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Santa don’t do grab ass, cowboy."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You are Willie “Tugboat” Soak."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And you’re Marcus “The Prince” Skidmore."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Seven cities in seven years. Pretty impressive."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah. Pretty darn impressive."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, let's face the facts. Y'all are a couple of half-bucket small-timers."
Bad Santa (2003)
"and I respect that. But you also been caught..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't want to take over. I don't even want to change your scam."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Whatever you guys do, it works. All I want is a taste."
Bad Santa (2003)
"When the deed is done, we part ways."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I'll buy a little ranch in Havasu,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- How much? - Half."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- No way! You don't know who you're fucking with. - Back off, Will."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Okay. 30%. There's three of us. 30%. That's fair."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Half."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- I meant 33%... - I meant half."
Bad Santa (2003)
"35%."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Half."
Bad Santa (2003)
"42%."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Half."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- 49%. - Half."
Bad Santa (2003)
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