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Clips from Bad Santa (2003)

"Any merchandise you take, I get to look at and cherry-pick."
Bad Santa (2003)
"No! Money's one thing, but you ain't gettin' the..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"This ain't no Chinese menu, you jagoff."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I tell you how it's gonna be."
Bad Santa (2003)
"This is pricks fix."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Pricks fix? - He's a fucking moron."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Fuck you. - Negotiating?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"If you don't like, next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Even if we did, you'd never front your own racket. You know why, Willie?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"You'd fall apart without me. You're too pathetic for words."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You're a fucking loser, and you fucking know it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Santa'll be here real soon, kids. Real soon."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Look here. Get him out of here. I'll smooth things over with Chipeska."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Tell him food poisoning or something."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- What do you mean ”Get him out of here? - Take him to the car."
Bad Santa (2003)
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a motherfuckin' dwarf."
Bad Santa (2003)
"That figures. You want all kind of set-asides."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall, you asshole!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Bitch, bitch, bitch."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Sketch it up, you fuckin’ moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What you call me, thigh high?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, these lips were on your wife's pussy last night."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- I pissed my pants. - Oh, shut up."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Santa?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"What?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Nothing."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You going to work today?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Not really."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah. Just let me alone, okay?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Hey, wait a minute. Hey, kid? - Yeah?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I want you to take this letter."
Bad Santa (2003)
"When the paramedics come to bag Santa up,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"there's gonna be some cops there."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I want you to make sure that those cops get that envelope."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What is it?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"It just tells all the bad things that..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What the fuck happened to your eye?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"How 'bout you, huh?! You want some?!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Anybody else? Anybody else? Come on! Yeah, there you go."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You know, I think I've turned a corner."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah? You fucking petites now?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"No. I'm not talking about that."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I beat the shit out of some kids today."
Bad Santa (2003)
"But it was for a purpose."
Bad Santa (2003)
"It made me feel good about myself."
Bad Santa (2003)
"It was like I did something constructive with my life, or something… I don't know."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You need many years of therapy."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Many, many, many fuckin' years of therapy."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And I bullshit you not."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Shut up. That's not even what you said."
Bad Santa (2003)
"We got a fucking nursing home around here."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, we can go in another room."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Hey, Granny?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Hey, Granny."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Hey, there, Granny?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, my God."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What the fuck?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Roger! - God!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- God damn it! Shit! - You're home."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Please just tap me. - Let me fix some sandwiches."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I know that Christmas Eve is in a couple days,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"and you have to fly around the world and give presents to everyone,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"and you won't be around anymore."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Yeah? - So I thought I'd give you your present now."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- What the fuck is it? - It's a wooden pickle."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Why'd you paint it brown?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"It's not paint. It's blood from when I cut my hand making it for you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, shit, kid, I don't know. I..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You're welcome."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah, I guess so."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Come on, baby."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Come here."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, nothing. I'm all right."
Bad Santa (2003)
"God damn it! Whoa! Shit!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Want to see my report card?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Is your name Thurman? - Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Thurman Merman? - Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Jesus."
Bad Santa (2003)
"So, you think I did good?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I thought maybe at least since I did good in school,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"maybe you'd bring me a present."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Jesus fucking Christ, kid! Why do you talk about yourself that way?!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Take a look at me. Do I look like Santa Claus?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"As a matter of fact, I'm living fucking proof that there's not a Santa Claus."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I know there's no Santa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I just thought maybe you'd want to give me a present 'cause we're friends."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Good night, Gin. - Good night."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Jesus, Mother Mary, and Joseph. What is the problem now?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I'll be dipped in dog shit. Do I look like an auto mechanic to you?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- I can't reach it. - Jesus Christ, give me that."
Bad Santa (2003)
"All right, hit it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, my. What a terrible accident."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I'd say maybe 50% of them, or do you think 30%?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I needed more of a running start. I couldn't build up enough speed."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is he dead?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Shit."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What are you drinking, Styrinol now?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"‘caused you sounded like my aunt Tilly right before she smeared her own shit on her bedroom walls."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You better be in shape by this evening, asshole."
Bad Santa (2003)
"After tonight I don’t give a shit."
Bad Santa (2003)
"But this is the time we reach deep down and suck it up."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Good night and have a very Merry Christmas."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Merry Christmas."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Good night. - Okay! Happy holiday!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"CHIPESKA: Attention, shoppers. The store will be closing in five minutes."
Bad Santa (2003)
"We wish you all a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and a joyous Kwanzaa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- It's a Kitnerboy Redoubt. - So?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"When I was in the joint with him, he told me that the Kitnerboy Redoubt can't be cracked."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Are you shittin' me?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"held you together, smiled for all those kids,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"danced for all those fucking housewives"
Bad Santa (2003)
"in a fucking lime-green, fucking velvet elf costume,"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is that what you're telling me?! Huh?!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I gotta get one more thing. I'll be right back."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Store dick don't want shit."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Store dick don't want shit."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Fuck the fuckin’ store dick."
Bad Santa (2003)
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