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Clips from Bad Santa (2003)

"They only work during the day, all right?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I thought it was always night at the North Pole."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, not now. Right now it's always day."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Then how do they sleep? - Oh, shit. Sage Terrace."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What is it with you anyway? Somebody drop you on your fucking head?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"On my head?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- How can they drop me onto my own head? - No, not onto your...Would..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"God damn it! Are you fucking with me?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Okay. Which house is it? - That one."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- With Jesus and his family there or what? - No. The one beside that."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Right here? - Yeah. That one."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is Daddy home?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Exploring mountains, huh? How long is he gonna be gone?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"and the long-eared donkey and Joseph and the talking walnut."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Well, who the fuck takes care of you, then? - Grandma."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah? What's her name?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Grandma."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Is Granny spry?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Grandma?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Are you spry?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, Roger. You're home."
Bad Santa (2003)
"No aunts or cousins or uncles or anything like that?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Does your daddy have a safe?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- You want milk and cookies? - No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Should I fix you some sandwiches? - Unh-unh."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Does your daddy have a car?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- WOMAN: Keep going. - Jesus!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, God!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Ooh!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, Jesus!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, God!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You ain't gonna shit right for a week."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And I heard these..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Um, you know, these noises."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And I heard a woman screaming, Yeah. Oh, yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"That's right."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You ain't going to S-H-I-T"
Bad Santa (2003)
"right for a month."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oval Office, Women's Big & Tall..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"it's not for the American people to say."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Yeah, right. - But when…"
Bad Santa (2003)
"you're dealing with children..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"They have a tender sensibility."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Of course, I can't fire him for that."
Bad Santa (2003)
"That’s not true, I’m no sizes"
Bad Santa (2003)
"They’d all say: If it had been a supermodel or a beautiful…"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Fucking broads."
Bad Santa (2003)
"But I just can't help it."
Bad Santa (2003)
"There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Maybe there's something I could fire him for."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Do you?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Shit, yeah. Always found them…"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I dig that little thing on your belly button."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What's that? Like a diamond?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"It's a belly-button ring."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Come on."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Motherfucker!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, you lousy, fucking motherfucker."
Bad Santa (2003)
"That's the kind of shit that's gonna get us pinched."
Bad Santa (2003)
"But you promised no arcades."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You said you'd only hustle Big & Tall."
Bad Santa (2003)
"How many times you fucked: “The bigger the store, the bigger the take“."
Bad Santa (2003)
"We can’t work the big store with your big fucking trainwreck."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You got some nerve, you little fuck you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What, you shat me out of your womb? You're my fucking mom now?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't need any goddamn lectures out of you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You cocksucker!"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Ever hear of the open bottle law?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Come here. - Unh-unh. Screw you, Willie, your kinky ass."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Last time I didn't shit right for a week."
Bad Santa (2003)
"No, it's not that. Just come here. I need to talk to you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Who the fuck is in my room? Did you see somebody go in my room?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Marcus, it's Willie. Listen, I just got back to the motel. ..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And some guy is nosing around in my room."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- What guy? You get a look at him? - No. But I think he's a cop, though."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Think somebody's onto us? - Is there anything in the room? Anything professional?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"No, I just got clothes in there."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Just ditch, you idiot. You got anywhere to sack out for a while?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Santa! - Yeah."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- You're bringing my present early? - No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"But I never told you what I wanted."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I said I didn't bring it, dipshit."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Okay. Good. I want a stuffed elephant. A pink one."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Wish in one hand, shit in the other one. See which one fills up first."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Okay."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Mrs. Santa caught me fucking her sister."
Bad Santa (2003)
"And I'm out on my ass now. She got half of everything."
Bad Santa (2003)
"This is gonna be cool. This will do fine."
Bad Santa (2003)
"So I'm gonna be crashing here."
Bad Santa (2003)
"It will be just you and me, like roommates, you know?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"What about the elves?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Well, they stay with Mrs. Santa."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What about the reindeer?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Would you please shut up about reindeer?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"What are their names?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Who? - The elves."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, shit. I can't remember."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Oh, you're shitting me. I thought... I was thinking it was the..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"I don't know. Fuck, kid. I just call them, bub."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Does everything with you have to be a fucking test?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"How old are they?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- You want cookies? - No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Should I fix you some sandwiches? - I don't want any fucking sandwiches."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What is it with you and fixing fucking sandwiches?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"- Okay. Do you want anything else? - No."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You can't just take up with some kid."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You got some nerve, you little shit you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You said that yesterday, you stupid fuck."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Fuck you."
Bad Santa (2003)
"You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot-eating shit..."
Bad Santa (2003)
"What if the kid has one of those fucking playdates they have now?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"Are you shitting me? The kid don't have any friends."
Bad Santa (2003)
"He don't even have an imaginary friend unless he ditched him."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Jesus Christ. Is everything fucking sex with you?"
Bad Santa (2003)
"'cause I can't stand what a piece of shit I am."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Yeah, that's right. Go ahead. Talk about my height."
Bad Santa (2003)
"Make it about something safe 'cause you're an emotional fucking cripple."
Bad Santa (2003)
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