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Clips from Ally McBeal - Drama (S05E05)

TV Series 1997 –2002 Season 5, Episode 5 45 min ★ 6.9/10 (39,605 ratings) 509 clips
Romance Drama Comedy

Episodes from this show

Am I in a crisis? This could be a really bad sign.
"Am I in a crisis? This could be a really bad sign."
Ally McBeal
The wrong ones can't hurt you. It's the right ones.
"The wrong ones can't hurt you. It's the right ones."
Ally McBeal
VONDA SINGS: I've been down this road
"VONDA SINGS: I've been down this road"
Ally McBeal
-That bitch. -Later.
"-That bitch. -Later."
Ally McBeal
-Who's that? -That's her mother.
"-Who's that? -That's her mother."
Ally McBeal
Fired? You said they were making you managing partner.
"Fired? You said they were making you managing partner."
Ally McBeal
They feel, to be managing partner, your significant other's part of the equation.
"They feel, to be managing partner, your significant other's part of the equation."
Ally McBeal
-Well, that isn't easy for me to do. -Raymond, you're Glenn's best friend.
"-Well, that isn't easy for me to do. -Raymond, you're Glenn's best friend."
Ally McBeal
You want to go out?
"You want to go out?"
Ally McBeal
-She's getting married? -That's what Jenny said.
"-She's getting married? -That's what Jenny said."
Ally McBeal
How can I get to the mother? There's gotta be a way.
"How can I get to the mother? There's gotta be a way."
Ally McBeal
I'm wading out this muddy water Been stranded in the wasteland
"I'm wading out this muddy water Been stranded in the wasteland"
Ally McBeal
-Sorry? -You said "next. " Was there a next?
"-Sorry? -You said "next. " Was there a next?"
Ally McBeal
No, that was just an expression.
"No, that was just an expression."
Ally McBeal
What?
"What?"
Ally McBeal
-Are you ready? -Well, on one day's notice.
"-Are you ready? -Well, on one day's notice."
Ally McBeal
-Very pleased to meet you. -Hello.
"-Very pleased to meet you. -Hello."
Ally McBeal
She deserves to lose. He's 22. He's a sex toy.
"She deserves to lose. He's 22. He's a sex toy."
Ally McBeal
What, I'm supposed to call him "Dad"? It's gross.
"What, I'm supposed to call him "Dad"? It's gross."
Ally McBeal
-Oh, please. -Excuse me.
"-Oh, please. -Excuse me."
Ally McBeal
-We really need to get to court. -I don't want you winning.
"-We really need to get to court. -I don't want you winning."
Ally McBeal
-I'm not getting any. -Neither am l.
"-I'm not getting any. -Neither am l."
Ally McBeal
My mistake.
"My mistake."
Ally McBeal
Values. Bygones. I'd like to share with you, if I could, something. . . .
"Values. Bygones. I'd like to share with you, if I could, something. . . ."
Ally McBeal
Actually, would you mind stepping in here?
"Actually, would you mind stepping in here?"
Ally McBeal
-Won't take just a second. -You dragged me into a stall.
"-Won't take just a second. -You dragged me into a stall."
Ally McBeal
You've bitten off more than you can chew here.
"You've bitten off more than you can chew here."
Ally McBeal
You'd be surprised. I've chewed a lot.
"You'd be surprised. I've chewed a lot."
Ally McBeal
I don't really turn to liquid. If anything, I become more--
"I don't really turn to liquid. If anything, I become more--"
Ally McBeal
. . .but maybe to confirm you've bitten off more than you can chew.
". . .but maybe to confirm you've bitten off more than you can chew."
Ally McBeal
Business comes from socializing, parties where spouses attend.
"Business comes from socializing, parties where spouses attend."
Ally McBeal
How about a 50-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman?
"How about a 50-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman?"
Ally McBeal
I'd question his judgment as well.
"I'd question his judgment as well."
Ally McBeal
I'm sure it's possible.
"I'm sure it's possible."
Ally McBeal
When a 50-year-old woman is with a kid, it looks bad.
"When a 50-year-old woman is with a kid, it looks bad."
Ally McBeal
. . .even sexy, and a woman like me wanted to date you. . .
". . .even sexy, and a woman like me wanted to date you. . ."
Ally McBeal
Thank you, Mr. Rohrer. Nothing further.
"Thank you, Mr. Rohrer. Nothing further."
Ally McBeal
-Why not drive this one on cloudy days? -That's not really the point.
"-Why not drive this one on cloudy days? -That's not really the point."
Ally McBeal
. . .you want somebody who projects stability, caution, conservatism.
". . .you want somebody who projects stability, caution, conservatism."
Ally McBeal
. . .was predicated on Ms. Shaw being with a 20-year-old?
". . .was predicated on Ms. Shaw being with a 20-year-old?"
Ally McBeal
But to entrust her with managing my money, that's different.
"But to entrust her with managing my money, that's different."
Ally McBeal
Thank you, sir.
"Thank you, sir."
Ally McBeal
But it's not wise to let him go uncontested either.
"But it's not wise to let him go uncontested either."
Ally McBeal
No.
"No."
Ally McBeal
I could not move.
"I could not move."
Ally McBeal
I was just looking into his eyes, and I think that. . . .
"I was just looking into his eyes, and I think that. . . ."
Ally McBeal
-Do you know what I'm saying? -You want some boom-boom.
"-Do you know what I'm saying? -You want some boom-boom."
Ally McBeal
It's very hard to do. I know you.
"It's very hard to do. I know you."
Ally McBeal
Is it possible. . .
"Is it possible. . ."
Ally McBeal
What's the catch?
"What's the catch?"
Ally McBeal
-Maybe Ling too. -Please.
"-Maybe Ling too. -Please."
Ally McBeal
Men are drawn to beautiful women. You want to use me for bait. Ling too.
"Men are drawn to beautiful women. You want to use me for bait. Ling too."
Ally McBeal
-And if it is frivolous? -Frances, if you come off reasonably--
"-And if it is frivolous? -Frances, if you come off reasonably--"
Ally McBeal
-Me grow up? -All right.
"-Me grow up? -All right."
Ally McBeal
I can excite younger women, but I can't fulfill them.
"I can excite younger women, but I can't fulfill them."
Ally McBeal
. . .if not more so, than sex.
". . .if not more so, than sex."
Ally McBeal
Did I mention he graduated from Yale?
"Did I mention he graduated from Yale?"
Ally McBeal
-I've got to go to court. -I know. I just wanted to say:
"-I've got to go to court. -I know. I just wanted to say:"
Ally McBeal
Late for court, Richard.
"Late for court, Richard."
Ally McBeal
What are you doing in my office?
"What are you doing in my office?"
Ally McBeal
That's my problem.
"That's my problem."
Ally McBeal
You seem nice. But here's a tip: Women lose interest in Ken dolls. . .
"You seem nice. But here's a tip: Women lose interest in Ken dolls. . ."
Ally McBeal
. . .around the time they toss their Barbies.
". . .around the time they toss their Barbies."
Ally McBeal
-Then how can I rule? -I'm telling you, they were lousy.
"-Then how can I rule? -I'm telling you, they were lousy."
Ally McBeal
-Which means I provide the answers. -Assuming, with love, there are answers.
"-Which means I provide the answers. -Assuming, with love, there are answers."
Ally McBeal
It's fine.
"It's fine."
Ally McBeal
-Well, you know. -A fool?
"-Well, you know. -A fool?"
Ally McBeal
-How did you know I was gonna say that? -Because I know you.
"-How did you know I was gonna say that? -Because I know you."
Ally McBeal
I can't be sure, but I think that my client just called me a fool in court.
"I can't be sure, but I think that my client just called me a fool in court."
Ally McBeal
. . .but you feel, for some reason, he's not right for you.
". . .but you feel, for some reason, he's not right for you."
Ally McBeal
. . .31 seems old for someone who's only had two serious relationships.
". . .31 seems old for someone who's only had two serious relationships."
Ally McBeal
I have a pretty good idea when somebody's not right for me.
"I have a pretty good idea when somebody's not right for me."
Ally McBeal
You're clueless. You thought Larry was right.
"You're clueless. You thought Larry was right."
Ally McBeal
. . .I maintain, you're clueless.
". . .I maintain, you're clueless."
Ally McBeal
. . .who are too practical for their own happiness. "
". . .who are too practical for their own happiness. ""
Ally McBeal
Your gut told you that?
"Your gut told you that?"
Ally McBeal
Jenny's gut. I've never known it to be wrong.
"Jenny's gut. I've never known it to be wrong."
Ally McBeal
Funny how Jenny's name keeps coming up when you and I are alone.
"Funny how Jenny's name keeps coming up when you and I are alone."
Ally McBeal
That image is not commensurate with the one my client wants to project.
"That image is not commensurate with the one my client wants to project."
Ally McBeal
And you heard Mr. Fernwall admit it wasn't fair.
"And you heard Mr. Fernwall admit it wasn't fair."
Ally McBeal
. . .of what I felt and still feel for Christina. . . "
". . .of what I felt and still feel for Christina. . . ""
Ally McBeal
Say you want love
"Say you want love"
Ally McBeal
I mean, it might be a little hard to call him "Dad" . . .
"I mean, it might be a little hard to call him "Dad" . . ."
Ally McBeal
In the alternative, we order the defendant to pay $620,000.
"In the alternative, we order the defendant to pay $620,000."
Ally McBeal
-You'd think she'd want a mature man. -You'd be a cinch then.
"-You'd think she'd want a mature man. -You'd be a cinch then."
Ally McBeal
I can pick it up from where I sit.
"I can pick it up from where I sit."
Ally McBeal
-You left Elton John. -I'm gonna go back down.
"-You left Elton John. -I'm gonna go back down."
Ally McBeal
-You? -About to, yeah.
"-You? -About to, yeah."
Ally McBeal
Technically, I did ask you out. And, technically, you never answered.
"Technically, I did ask you out. And, technically, you never answered."
Ally McBeal
If we were to go out, either of two things could happen:
"If we were to go out, either of two things could happen:"
Ally McBeal
. . .or it would work and that would be a disaster.
". . .or it would work and that would be a disaster."
Ally McBeal
Why?
"Why?"
Ally McBeal
-Can I walk you home? -No, thanks. I'm just gonna--
"-Can I walk you home? -No, thanks. I'm just gonna--"
Ally McBeal
Good night.
"Good night."
Ally McBeal
I kissed him. Raymond.
"I kissed him. Raymond."
Ally McBeal
I welcomed his fat, horny tongue all the way back to my esophagus.
"I welcomed his fat, horny tongue all the way back to my esophagus."
Ally McBeal
-I'm a total slut. -Jenny--
"-I'm a total slut. -Jenny--"
Ally McBeal
Oh, God, Ally. I don't want to end up with Raymond Milbury.
"Oh, God, Ally. I don't want to end up with Raymond Milbury."
Ally McBeal
And I have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide
"And I have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide"
Ally McBeal
Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring
"Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring"
Ally McBeal
Oh, baby, yeah
"Oh, baby, yeah"
Ally McBeal
-We did the double date once. -That was a sham. This was a real kiss.
"-We did the double date once. -That was a sham. This was a real kiss."
Ally McBeal
-Do you like her, really? -I do.
"-Do you like her, really? -I do."
Ally McBeal
Then I'm okay with it. As long as it isn't just for a thrill ride.
"Then I'm okay with it. As long as it isn't just for a thrill ride."
Ally McBeal
She's not inclined to date somebody she doesn't see a real future in.
"She's not inclined to date somebody she doesn't see a real future in."
Ally McBeal
-Frances? -Glenn. I'm looking for Jenny.
"-Frances? -Glenn. I'm looking for Jenny."
Ally McBeal
-Next office down. How are you? -I'm fine.
"-Next office down. How are you? -I'm fine."
Ally McBeal
-You look fabulous. -So do you. I mean, you know.
"-You look fabulous. -So do you. I mean, you know."
Ally McBeal
-Mom? -Sweetheart.
"-Mom? -Sweetheart."
Ally McBeal
-Why are you here? -Can't a mother come see her daughter?
"-Why are you here? -Can't a mother come see her daughter?"
Ally McBeal
-Who's dead? -No one. But something has come up.
"-Who's dead? -No one. But something has come up."
Ally McBeal
-Don't you look at her. -What?
"-Don't you look at her. -What?"
Ally McBeal
-Can we just go somewhere private? -Come on.
"-Can we just go somewhere private? -Come on."
Ally McBeal
-I was. Instead, I was invited to leave. -Why?
"-I was. Instead, I was invited to leave. -Why?"
Ally McBeal
-They don't like the man I'm with. -What?
"-They don't like the man I'm with. -What?"
Ally McBeal
I'm getting married.
"I'm getting married."
Ally McBeal
Well, that's amazing.
"Well, that's amazing."
Ally McBeal
I came to hire this firm. This place specializes in sexual harassment law.
"I came to hire this firm. This place specializes in sexual harassment law."
Ally McBeal
I'm told you have this amazing little dwarf here called The Croissant.
"I'm told you have this amazing little dwarf here called The Croissant."
Ally McBeal
-The Biscuit. And he's full-size. -Would he represent me?
"-The Biscuit. And he's full-size. -Would he represent me?"
Ally McBeal