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Clips from Family Guy - Short Cuts (S18E18)

"I got neutered."
Family Guy
"(inhales sharply through teeth)"
Family Guy
"But why?"
Family Guy
"Getting neutered eliminated all distractions"
Family Guy
"and allowed me to focus solely on my work."
Family Guy
"that hold you back."
Family Guy
"Man, with no distractions,"
Family Guy
"I could just spend all day in here reading."
Family Guy
"I love that book Charles Dickens by David Copperfield."
Family Guy
"Writing was his real magic."
Family Guy
"I just don't understand."
Family Guy
"One minute, I got a hot ginger wife,"
Family Guy
"and the next I'm married to Ron Weasley."
Family Guy
"Donna wears a wig, so I've never even seen her real hair."
Family Guy
"But I would imagine it looks like an old, faded sweater"
Family Guy
"that needs to be de-pilled."
Family Guy
"I haven't touched Bonnie's hair in years."
Family Guy
"It's way high up there."
Family Guy
"Well, since Lois did something to her appearance"
Family Guy
"that you don't like, you should do something"
Family Guy
"to your appearance that she doesn't like."
Family Guy
"Quagmire, that is pathetically shallow and vindictive."
Family Guy
"I love it!"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna make myself harder to ignore"
Family Guy
"than an amateur photographer."
Family Guy
"Okay, this is hilarious."
Family Guy
"So I'm sitting in my office at work"
Family Guy
"when the fire alarm goes off..."
Family Guy
"Um, what-what, what was I saying?"
Family Guy
"Fire alarm."
Family Guy
"Right, right, right, okay. This is so funny."
Family Guy
"So, the fire alarm goes off..."
Family Guy
"Hey, hey, friend?"
Family Guy
"Friend? Friend?"
Family Guy
"Can-can you just... n-not-not right now?"
Family Guy
"Now, where was I?"
Family Guy
"-Fire alarm at work. -Oh, right."
Family Guy
"You know what? Just forget it."
Family Guy
"The punch line is it was 9/11."
Family Guy
"Scoot over, Stewie."
Family Guy
"George Townshend was wrong, and I'm gonna prove it."
Family Guy
"I don't need to get neutered to be productive."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna write an inspirational book"
Family Guy
"about my life, and I'm calling it"
Family Guy
"The Holy Bri-ble."
Family Guy
"-Please don't. -Here we go, blank page."
Family Guy
"-(knuckles crack) -World of possibilities."
Family Guy
"And you're watching porn."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Two clicks and I instinctually went right to porn."
Family Guy
"Maybe George Townshend was right."
Family Guy
"Maybe I am easily distracted."
Family Guy
"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself."
Family Guy
"It's okay to be easily distracted."
Family Guy
"That's what's saved Warren Beatty"
Family Guy
"and Annette Bening's marriage."
Family Guy
"Annette, let's have sex."
Family Guy
"Or you could watch Blue Bloods"
Family Guy
"and have a pudding cup."
Family Guy
"Hmm?"
Family Guy
"Mmm. Go get 'em, Blue Bloods."
Family Guy
"Good evening, Lois."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Peter, what the hell are you wearing?"
Family Guy
"Jeans."
Family Guy
"Just jeans. You like it?"
Family Guy
"No. You look like you're going to a custody hearing in Florida."
Family Guy
"Oh, really?"
Family Guy
"Because I think it's a "fun" look."
Family Guy
"Just like your hair."
Family Guy
"Okay, I see what you're doing."
Family Guy
"Good. So we agree that your haircut is stupid."
Family Guy
"What? No. I love my haircut."
Family Guy
"Then I love this look."
Family Guy
"As a matter of fact, I'm gonna add"
Family Guy
"this free Fandango golf visor I got"
Family Guy
"when I snuck in to see I Feel Pretty."
Family Guy
"(groans) Fine."
Family Guy
"You want a war, Peter? Let's go to war."
Family Guy
"Let's do it."
Family Guy
"(gavel bangs)"
Family Guy
"Tallahassee Family Court calls Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
"Here, Your Honor."
Family Guy
"Ho-ho, look who's all dressed up."
Family Guy
"I just want Skylar back!"
Family Guy
"Tesla, Apple, SpaceX,"
Family Guy
"Wow. That was the coolest phone call I've ever heard."
Family Guy
"Brian, walk with me."
Family Guy
"You know, I wish I could spend more time with you today,"
Family Guy
"but I'm late for a video conference with"
Family Guy
"(Spanish accent): Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega."
Family Guy
"Listen, I need to talk to you about something."
Family Guy
"I was thinking about what you said the other day, and..."
Family Guy
"-I think you might be right. -About what?"
Family Guy
"I've always believed I was destined for a life like yours,"
Family Guy
"but something was holding me back,"
Family Guy
"and now I realize it was two things."
Family Guy
"-My balls are the things... -No, I got it."
Family Guy
"George Townshend, I want to get neutered."
Family Guy
"It's gonna be great."
Family Guy
"I'll finally be able to beat that guy"
Family Guy
"who fights dirty in my karate class."
Family Guy
"Surprise."
Family Guy
"Now take this."
Family Guy
"Hiy..."
Family Guy
"Sensei Dan, he's using a sword!"
Family Guy
"No swords, guys."
Family Guy
"Brian, are you sure about getting neutered?"
Family Guy
"I am. You've seen everything George Townshend's accomplished."
Family Guy
"That's the life I've always dreamed of."
Family Guy
"Yes, but how much do you really know about him?"
Family Guy
"They changed my life."
Family Guy
"Look, Stewie, this is a huge step for me,"
Family Guy
"and if you can't support me,"
Family Guy
"well, then maybe I should cut you out of my life, too."
Family Guy
"Brian, that's a closet."
Family Guy
"I know. I have stuff to do in here."
Family Guy
"(door creaks)"
Family Guy
"(door creaks)"
Family Guy
"Well, nothing left to do but binge-watch"
Family Guy
"-Ken Burns' History of Jazz. -What?"
Family Guy
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