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Clips from Family Guy - Short Cuts (S18E18)

"(gasps) Can you give me a moment?"
Family Guy
"¶ It seems today that all you see ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ But where are those good old-fashioned values ¶"
Family Guy
"-Oh, you're bad. -I know."
Family Guy
"You wouldn't dare."
Family Guy
"(both grunt)"
Family Guy
"Can you believe he threw us out? That's discrimination."
Family Guy
"It just makes me so angry."
Family Guy
"-Oh, nice! Wonderful! -Great!"
Family Guy
"We are gonna throw you the craziest party."
Family Guy
"¶ In a poorly lit room, oy! ¶"
Family Guy
"Look at this picture of Shailene Woodley."
Family Guy
"which by the way, is getting its ass kicked"
Family Guy
"Thank you, Brian."
Family Guy
"-No. -That's fair."
Family Guy
"-Can you at least read what's on this card? -Sure."
Family Guy
"Coming up, I get all anxious and weird"
Family Guy
"Remember me?"
Family Guy
"You're angling your phone so I can't see it."
Family Guy
"Excuse me, sir, but this is a private residence."
Family Guy
"Peter, it's me."
Family Guy
"I-I don't... What is all this?"
Family Guy
"¶ ¶"
Family Guy
"Eh, it took me a while, too, believe me."
Family Guy
"And I go by George Townshend now."
Family Guy
"George Townshend."
Family Guy
"I hear they're working on Chicago Seinfeld."
Family Guy
"(classical music playing)"
Family Guy
"Sometimes you have to literally cut out the things"
Family Guy
"(shutter clicks)"
Family Guy
"Well, yeah, it's not funny now."
Family Guy
"Kendrick Lamar, drone technology, Hemingway."
Family Guy
"My life is pretty cool."
Family Guy
"I'm proud of you, buddy."
Family Guy
"(exclaiming) You can't use a sword!"
Family Guy
"-Have you read his books? -Of course I've read his books."
Family Guy
"Well, Peter, all you have to do"
Family Guy
"is say you like my haircut, and I'll leave."
Family Guy
"-Never. -Suit yourself."
Family Guy
"and now I'm gonna do it as a career."
Family Guy
"Oh. Yeah. Very cool, Bentley."
Family Guy
"I'm going to rededicate my life to Christ."
Family Guy
"You abandoned me."
Family Guy
"you just got in his car and left me."
Family Guy
"I was gonna come back and get you, and-and then,"
Family Guy
"is so much more satisfying."
Family Guy
"Stay back!"
Family Guy
"but you didn't even read them."
Family Guy
"Without me, none of this would've been possible."
Family Guy
"Isn't that enough?"
Family Guy
"It is enough."
Family Guy
"My pleasure, Brian."
Family Guy
"Well, the good news is we can give you a prosthetic."
Family Guy
"-We understand. -(bells jingling)"
Family Guy
"(bell jingling with footsteps)"
Family Guy
"Don't miss a second of Family Guy."
Family Guy
"Are you ready for the new season of Family Guy?"
Family Guy
"See all-new episodes Sundays, and check out our other Fox programs--"
Family Guy
"Bob's Burgers, The Simpsons and Bless the Harts."
Family Guy
"Oh, jeez, I'm so excited."
Family Guy
"¶ On which we used to rely? ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ All the things that make us ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ¶"
Family Guy
"Look at this, Brian. Genderless baby announcement."
Family Guy
""It's a they.""
Family Guy
"Good for they."
Family Guy
"I'm getting my friend a birthday card in Spanish."
Family Guy
"(laughing): But he doesn't speak Spanish."
Family Guy
"(laughing loudly)"
Family Guy
"Oh-ho-ho-ho, he's not gonna know what it says."
Family Guy
"I think I've earned whatever misshapen Reese's product"
Family Guy
"is by the cashier."
Family Guy
"-Huh, no way. -Remember last week when I said,"
Family Guy
""I wonder whatever happened to Fairuza Balk"?"
Family Guy
"-I do. -And now this."
Family Guy
"The world's crazy."
Family Guy
"This looks terrible."
Family Guy
"You need to get out of here, Brian."
Family Guy
"The urine-soaked hairs on the end of your penis"
Family Guy
"are very off-putting to the other customers."
Family Guy
"That's not urine, that's saliva."
Family Guy
"Go on, scoot, get out of here!"
Family Guy
"Or I'll do the clichéd pharmacy price check jokes."
Family Guy
"(over P.A.): Yes, I need a price check on extra-small condoms."
Family Guy
"WOMAN: (laughs) That's the last thing he'd want announced."
Family Guy
"(laughing): Oh, my..."
Family Guy
"It's just like what happened to those blacks at that Starbucks."
Family Guy
""Those blacks"?"
Family Guy
"Discrimination is a scourge, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Well, then do something about it."
Family Guy
"You know what?"
Family Guy
"I will."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna throw a rock at his window."
Family Guy
"Oh, hey, Karmann Ghia. I like those."
Family Guy
"All right, here we go."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Brian. That was the last Munich gunman."
Family Guy
"You're a hero."
Family Guy
"A hero?"
Family Guy
"I-I guess I am a hero."
Family Guy
"-Way to go. -Way to go, doggy!"
Family Guy
"We do, and I can bring Planters peanuts"
Family Guy
"that were opened a dozen years ago."
Family Guy
"Perfect. And I have half a graduation cake"
Family Guy
"we just have to let thaw."
Family Guy
"(to tune of "Hava Nagila"): ¶ Party, a Jewish party ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ With lots of old food ¶"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, Peter, look at this."
Family Guy
"She actually wore this to an awards ceremony."
Family Guy
"Huh? Oh, yeah, crazy."
Family Guy
"(gasps) Unreal. Peter, look, look."
Family Guy
"Peter, look, Peter."
Family Guy
"-(sighs) -Flats."
Family Guy
"-Hmm? -Flats!"
Family Guy
"Mm."
Family Guy
"She's so talented and overrated and weird."
Family Guy
"I love her. Isn't her haircut cute?"
Family Guy
"Maybe I'll get my hair cut short, too."
Family Guy
"Wha... N-No. No way."
Family Guy
"-I forbid it. -(chuckles): What?"
Family Guy
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