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Clips from Family Guy - Christmas Is Coming (S18E18)

"-Yeah. This guy gets it. -(blows raspberry)"
Family Guy
"Santa's a good guy 'cause he keeps a list?"
Family Guy
"You know who else kept a list? Hitler."
Family Guy
"says Hitler was a great man."
Family Guy
"There you are. Come on."
Family Guy
"We've got to visit Santa at another mall."
Family Guy
"I can't go back to Santa, man! I can't!"
Family Guy
"-Hello again. -Hi."
Family Guy
"That's the guy that was peeing in the women's bathroom."
Family Guy
"Stewie, when this is over, I'm buying you a new toy."
Family Guy
"Meg, when this is over, I'm putting rocks in my pockets"
Family Guy
"and walking into the mall fountain."
Family Guy
"How much longer is this gonna take?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. 400 minutes?"
Family Guy
"One reason I work as a seasonal elf"
Family Guy
"is I'm not great at time estimates."
Family Guy
"Even a broken clock is right six times a day."
Family Guy
"He's very scared, so I have to sit here with him."
Family Guy
"Would you mind bouncing me a little?"
Family Guy
"Um, okay. I guess I can do that."
Family Guy
"Hey, come on, a little harder than that."
Family Guy
"-Look, I don't feel comf... -Please! It's Christmas. Please!"
Family Guy
"¶ Went up the water spout... ¶"
Family Guy
"Wait, wait, th-this isn't working."
Family Guy
"Were you at the Quahog Mall last night?"
Family Guy
"No. L-Last night, I was weeping outside my ex-wife's apartment."
Family Guy
"I drank too much and went over to yell at her."
Family Guy
"Yeah, he's not your guy, Meg."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. Story of my life."
Family Guy
"I live to disappoint women, apparently."
Family Guy
"Where is he?"
Family Guy
"(gasping)"
Family Guy
"He's a phony!"
Family Guy
"A great, big phony!"
Family Guy
"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm gonna give you just 600 minutes"
Family Guy
"-to get out of here. -But you don't understand."
Family Guy
"That's it. Security!"
Family Guy
"What took you so long?"
Family Guy
"Let me go."
Family Guy
"you are now banned from this mall"
Family Guy
"(grunting): W-Wait. I need my little brother."
Family Guy
"Time to sleep in heavenly peace."
Family Guy
"(groans)"
Family Guy
"Wow, looks like that baby is all wet."
Family Guy
"(laughing)"
Family Guy
"Classic Woody."
Family Guy
"(laughs) This is Woody."
Family Guy
"So, you want to tell me why you were assaulting Santa"
Family Guy
"in front of the whole mall?"
Family Guy
"Santa is Beard Boy."
Family Guy
"You're in love with Santa?"
Family Guy
"Maybe."
Family Guy
"He gave me my first... you know."
Family Guy
"He just bounced me on his lap, and the next thing you know,"
Family Guy
"-I saw Jimmy Connors. -You saw Jimmy Connors."
Family Guy
"You'll never see him again, by the way."
Family Guy
"I won't? Why not?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. That's God's trick on women."
Family Guy
"It's your first time, followed by a lifetime"
Family Guy
"of diminishing returns."
Family Guy
"(squeaking)"
Family Guy
"I wonder what I'll see on my first time."
Family Guy
"I can't let Stewie grow up scared of Santa Claus."
Family Guy
"(clears throat)"
Family Guy
"(deep voice): Ho, ho, ho."
Family Guy
"Santa? Is that really you?"
Family Guy
"-Sure is. -Well, how'd you get in?"
Family Guy
"-Through the window. -It was just unlocked?"
Family Guy
"Like, anybody can just come through my window at any time?"
Family Guy
"-I really don't like... -Forget about that."
Family Guy
"I know you're having a tough time."
Family Guy
"I just wanted to tell you that everything is fine."
Family Guy
"Meg is entering probably the most horny part of her life."
Family Guy
"This could just as easily have happened"
Family Guy
"while she was riding a horse or something."
Family Guy
"I'm just sorry you had to see it."
Family Guy
"Okay. Don't want people just coming in whenever."
Family Guy
"Stewie, that Christmas magic you think you lost,"
Family Guy
"it can't just disappear."
Family Guy
"I'm still the same guy you've always loved."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Santa. I feel better."
Family Guy
"Just try to have a good Christmas."
Family Guy
"Uh, speaking of that, I want a new dog."
Family Guy
"What's wrong with the dog you have?"
Family Guy
"Eh, he's okay. I just... I just want a new one."
Family Guy
"Maybe you can spend more time with the old one"
Family Guy
"-before you make any decisions. -Nah. Want a new one."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Santa. Can you leave from the door?"
Family Guy
"I'm kind of freaking over the window thing."
Family Guy
"Sure."
Family Guy
"-I want a new dog. -BRIAN: Oh, come on!"
Family Guy
"There you are."
Family Guy
"I had a hell of a time finding your room."
Family Guy
"Can I come in?"
Family Guy
"-Cigarette? -No."
Family Guy
"Mind if I have one?"
Family Guy
"So, you want to talk about this whole Santa's lap thing?"
Family Guy
"Dad, this stuff, I-I think it's gonna be hard for you to hear."
Family Guy
"Oh, don't worry, Meg. I brought this handkerchief"
Family Guy
"to dab my forehead whenever you say something sexual."
Family Guy
"-So, I'm-I'm sitting on Santa's lap... -Oh, dear."
Family Guy
"...and it's like my whole body starts to tingle."
Family Guy
"-Oh, my stars. -And-and then there's, like, a-a deep..."
Family Guy
"I better loudly drop an Alka-Seltzer"
Family Guy
"in this glass of water."
Family Guy
"-(fizzing) -Very loud fizzing."
Family Guy
"I-I may need to widen my eyes"
Family Guy
"until they look like a young girl's Snapchat filter."
Family Guy
"Like, sort of a-a warm steam iron?"
Family Guy
"Okay. It's okay, Meg."
Family Guy
"Look, this Santa person clearly made you very happy."
Family Guy
"And I want my daughter to be happy."
Family Guy
"I love you, Dad."
Family Guy
"You know, I played football for Coach Joe Paterno at Penn State."
Family Guy
"in practice this week"
Family Guy
"and forget everything after practice this week."
Family Guy
"¶ Oh, what fun it is to ride ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ Jingle bells, jingle bells ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ Jingle all the way ¶"
Family Guy
"(tires screeching)"
Family Guy
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