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Clips from Three's Company - Alone Together (S02E02)

"[ Doorbell Rings ]"
Three's Company
"have the house all to myself, be able to do anything I please."
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"Is that the kind of guy you think I am? Yes."
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"All in black satin."
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"♪ I've got... ♪ Jack, are you decent?"
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"Jack. Sure. Come on in."
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"♪♪ [ Gargles "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" ]"
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"I don't think I have a shirt in your... sizes... uh, size."
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"Hey, Charlie, here's another one. Okay, you two. Let's go."
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"That'll be Linda again. She's crazy about me."
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"Well, anyway, you're lookin' at a free man. So what's on for tonight?"
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"Yeah, that too. Yeah."
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"♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪"
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"♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪"
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"♪ Where the kisses are hers and hers and his ♪"
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"♪ Three's company too ♪"
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"♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪"
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"♪ Take a step that is new ♪ ♪ Take a step that is new ♪"
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"♪ We've a lovable space that needs your face ♪"
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"♪ Three's company too ♪"
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"♪ You'll see that life is a ball again ♪"
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"♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪"
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"♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪"
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"♪ Three is company too ♪"
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"♪ Down at our rendezvous Three is company too ♪♪"
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"You can't take those undershorts, Stanley."
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"They're torn. It's not gonna be formal, Helen."
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"Look, I can't help the hole in your head,"
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"but you're not leavin' here with a hole in your shorts."
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"You're still mad at me 'cause I'm taking this trip, huh?"
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"Mad just because you prefer to spend your night..."
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"lookin' at some godforsaken piece of desert instead of at me?"
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"Desert? You call this property a desert?"
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"Look at this. Look."
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"See the hotel? See the swimming pools? See the tennis courts?"
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"Where?"
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"Right there where it says, "Artist's conception.""
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"Ohh. It's a long way between conception and birth, you know."
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"- Why do you have to bring sex into everything? - If I don't, who will?"
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"It looks like nothin' now, but that's why you can get it so cheap."
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"You see, that's the trick. You buy low, and you wait for it to go up."
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"And suppose it doesn't?"
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"The only trouble with you, Helen... you're afraid to take a risk."
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"You don't have any guts. I married you, didn't I?"
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"I just wanna go up there to make some money for us. Come on, Stanley."
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"I know you. You wanna go up there for the free plane ride and the free entertainment."
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"My toothbrush. They'll take you for everything you've got."
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"Helen, I'm in the bathroom."
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"Oh. Oh, sorry, Stanley."
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"I only meant... Well, you're such a pushover for a sales pitch."
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"Helen, don't worry. I'm not gonna lay out a"
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"penny until I'm convinced it's a sure thing."
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"I'm nobody's fool. Oh, yes, you are."
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"You're mine, all mine."
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"Well, I got a couple hours till the plane leaves. How am I gonna kill the time?"
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"Does, uh, this give you any ideas?"
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"Yeah. I forgot my aspirin."
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"Good morning. Hi."
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"Uh, excuse me. I'd like to ask a question,"
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"but I don't know which end to talk to."
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"What is this supposed to do for ya?"
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"Oh, well, it eases the mind, it soothes the spirit and it firms up the body."
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"Yeah, well, don't get too firm. I like to see a jiggle now and then."
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"These exercises wouldn't do you any harm."
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"Ah, this stuff's not for me. When I want exercise, I go down to the gym."
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"I lift some weights, punch the bag, do a couple miles around the track."
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"Real exercise. This is kid stuff."
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"Kid stuff, huh? I'd like to see you try it. Oh, this is gonna be easy. I'm..."
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"What do you want me to do? Oh, well, let's start with a simple posture."
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"The lotus. The lotus."
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"Yeah. Hmm. Take one of your "feets," Yeah."
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"Lift it up with the bottom towards the ceiling..."
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"and gently place it in this position."
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"It's easy. Okay. Now take the other and do the same thing."
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"Gently."
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"Hey. That's pretty good."
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"Thank you. See? I told you it was easy."
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"That's really great. I didn't think he could do it."
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"- Oh, yeah, Jack. Nice goin'. - Thank you."
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"- [ Clears Throat ] When does it stop? - When does what stop?"
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"The pain."
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"Uh, okay, Janet, how do I get out of this?"
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"Oh, that's next week's lesson."
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"No. Janet! Come here."
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"Hey. It was easy, huh?"
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"Well, I said it was easy getting into it. I"
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"didn't say anything about getting out of it."
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"All right. I'll help you. [ Telephone Rings ]"
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"Wait a minute. Gotta get the phone. Geez!"
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"Hello? Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute."
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"Hey, it's for you. Shall I say you're all tied up?"
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"Hand me the phone."
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"Okay. [ Grunts ] Ooh."
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"Hello?"
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"Oh, it's you, Linda. Ooh. Ah."
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"How are you, baby? [ Groans ]"
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"Huh? How come I sound so passionate this early in the morning?"
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"Oh, uh, well, I guess it's 'cause I'm talking to you. I can't help myself."
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"Geez..."
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"Uh, listen, Linda. Real fast. You wanna do something tomorrow night?"
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"Oh, terrific. Well, look, uh, I gotta run now, okay?"
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"- I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye. Here. - Okay."
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"Help me out of this. Would you please help me out of this? All right. All right."
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"[ Groaning ] Ooh. Ooh."
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"Ah. Ohh. Easy!"
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"[ Screeches ]"
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"You wanna make a wish? No, you're not."
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"Oh, good morning, Chrissy. Hi. Come on in."
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"I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Oh, no. We're just exercising."
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"Oh!"
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"- Did you lose something, Jack? - Yeah. My circulation."
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"- What's new, Mrs. Roper? - Oh, Stanley's leaving me."
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"Oh, Mrs. Ro... Hold the congratulations."
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"- He's only gonna be gone overnight. A business trip. - Oh."
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"So tonight I'll be free as a bird,"
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"Ah, that's nice. What do you plan to do?"
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"I plan to be terrified."
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"What? Oh, Janet, I hate being alone."
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"It scares me to death. I jump at every little noise."
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"Oh, gee. Well, listen. Why don't you get somebody to stay overnight with you?"
Three's Company
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