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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Show Business & Lil Jon In Love (S03E03)

"rap mogul Russell Simmons was honored today"
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"- by the national association of-- - nigger--"
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"owned business for his outstanding service"
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"to the African-American community."
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"News center two's own Jack championship is there."
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"You know, Lisa, for the past few years,"
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"- there's been a spike in-- - nigger--"
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"entrepreneurship here in America, and few--"
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"- niggers-- - have been more successful"
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"than today's keynote speaker, Mr. Russell Simmons."
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"85% of the people in our public school system"
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"are black or brown."
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"- And they call you-- - niggers--"
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"but the fact is, in this state,"
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"the black and the brown people together are the majority."
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"And the fact is, worldwide, white people are the--"
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"niggers."
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"And what's the--what's the other big word they like to use?"
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"Special interests."
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"You know what that means."
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"Take a look at this."
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"Want this law to pass are minorities"
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"and special interests."
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"The only people who want this law to pass are--"
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"fags."
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"Y'all stay tuned."
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"Yes!"
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"I don't believe this, man."
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"You know, I can say from experience that"
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"when you blow up in show business,"
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"things change and kind of get surreal."
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"You start getting offers from all kinds of places,"
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"and shit just gets weird."
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"This is what Dave kind of went through."
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"Check it out."
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"Show business will see you now, Mr. chappelle."
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"Thank you."
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"I'm a little nervous."
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"That's completely natural."
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"Everyone gets nervous the first time they meet show business."
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"Except p. Diddy."
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"what's up, playboy?"
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"Voting is sexy, right?"
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"I've been waiting for you."
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"I am the great and powerful show business."
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"Congratulations on two good seasons."
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"Now it's time to make your money."
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"So tell me, what are your goals for your career?"
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"I don't know."
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"I was thinking maybe I'd stay true to myself,"
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"You are the funniest man on television!"
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"Just do what I say."
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"It'll be painless, and you'll be rich."
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"I have one word for you... Are you listening?"
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"Uh-oh."
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"Merchandising."
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"What you got?"
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"Hey, mom, what's for breakfast?"
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"Pancakes."
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"Oh, mom, not pancakes again."
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"I want to eat something fun."
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"I think I have just the thing."
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"Dave chappelle cereal!"
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"That's right, kids, I finally got my own cereal,"
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"the first black man since Mr. t."
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"It's got all the treats that you love from my show."
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"Purple crack pipes!"
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"Brown musicians!"
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"And black and white observations!"
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"I'm rich, bi-atch!"
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"Wow!"
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"See? I told you that was too much."
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"You wanna do a movie?"
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"We'll get one of your hit characters from the tv show,"
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"take the momentum right into a movie."
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"You ready?"
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"- I don't know. - Here we go!"
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"I need you to know the depth of my feelings for you."
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"I want you to know that..."
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"I would die for you."
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"No matter what I do, what I say..."
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"It's as if you don't hear me."
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"Do you?"
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"Do you?"
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"What?"
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"Lil' jon in love..."
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"Crunking with his bitch's emotions this July 11th."
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"Was it good for you?"
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"Mmm, you want a sandwich?"
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"What?"
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"Mmm, you wanna sandwich?"
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"What?"
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"Do you want a sandwich?"
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"Okay!"
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"How's that sandwich coming?"
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"Yeah."
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"This summer, only in theaters."
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"I don't know, man."
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"I don't think that's gonna be good for 90 minutes."
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"Dave, I'm running out of ideas here."
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"How would you like to be on mtv cribs?"
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"I don't know about that show, man."
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"My house is small, and it's not that baller."
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"on front street like that."
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"You think people actually live like that?"
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"- Word? - You're perfect for it."
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"We're gonna turn you into a baller."
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"A baller?"
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"What's up, mtv?"
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"See how we livin'."
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"What you're stepping on is a marble foyer"
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"that was cut out of none other than space Mountain."
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"You like this coat?"
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"White panda."
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"It's reversible."
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"Look at my chandelier."
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"It's $2 million."
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"It's made out of expensive chicken dinners"
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"I've eaten over the years from baller-ass restaurants."
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