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Clips from Taxi - Blind Date (S01E01)

"Beautiful."
Taxi
"Not your type."
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"Right, 'cause to be honest"
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"I prefer my women "H and H"-- homely and hot."
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"You're really a poet, you know?"
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"You bet."
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"Can I have my receipt, please?"
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"Anyway, all of a sudden, she says, "I feel sick.""
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"Tells me she thinks she was exposed to cholera"
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"earlier that day."
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"So, what did you do?"
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"I tried to take her blouse off."
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"It's not my fault she feels sick"
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"so why shouldn't one of us have a good time, right?"
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"You know, every time I talk to you, Louie"
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"I feel grateful that I haven't eaten yet."
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"Heard about your date."
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"Oh, yeah, what was it, broadcast over the PA?"
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"Yeah."
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"Hey, Elaine, can I talk to you"
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"for a minute?"
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"I don't want any advice."
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"Go ahead."
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"I can't stop thinking about that girl."
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"You know, you're a terrific guy."
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"That's not what I want to hear."
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"It just goes to show you how terrific you are."
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"All night long, she kept accusing me"
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"of going through the motions--"
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"that I wouldn't call her again because of her looks"
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"and I kept telling her she was wrong."
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"Terrific."
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"But she wasn't wrong."
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"Oh, Alex, you too?"
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"No. Listen, what I can't figure out"
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"is that hour I had with her on the phone"
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"was one of the greatest conversations I've ever had."
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"A witty, bright, sensitive girl"
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"who came to the door disappeared."
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"What happened to her?"
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"Maybe Angela ate her."
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"It wasn't just her looks."
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"She was also the bitterest, surliest"
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"most depressing person I ever met."
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"So, how come I feel like I have to go see her again?"
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"I don't know."
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"You got an answer for that?"
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"Yeah, I feel like"
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"I'm walking away from a car wreck"
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"with a person trapped inside."
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"That's true."
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"I'm going to go see her."
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"Oh, before I forget"
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"you can give us that money back now."
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"Even though we're nowhere near"
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"figuring out how to split it."
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"Hey, listen, Latka found it."
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"Why don't you give it all to him?"
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"That's one we didn't think of."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"He doesn't know what to do with that kind of money."
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"Yeah, he'll probably just blow it"
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"on rent or food or something."
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"How can you give it to him?"
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"You want to pop the veins in my head?"
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"Here, Latka, take your money."
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"Okay, you guys."
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"( speaking native language )"
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"Thank you very much."
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"Latka, Latka, please."
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"Please, not now."
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"Let's make it seven out of 13."
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"What are you doing this time"
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"praying nobody will be home?"
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"Huh? No. Listen, I just dropped by because I, I..."
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"Come in if you want."
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"Okay."
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"I guess I should have called first, but, uh..."
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"Hey, is this our second date?"
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"I don't know."
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"Let's say it is. I've never had one."
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"Okay, it's our second date."
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"Good, so far it looks like I haven't been missing anything."
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"Hey, Angela? Will you just let me get out what I have to say?"
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"Because I don't want to end up"
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"with us doing that stupid stuff that we did last night."
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"You mean falling in love?"
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"Would you like to hear what I have to say or not?"
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"Can I get a drink first?"
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"I have a feeling I'm going to need a drink."
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"Yeah, go ahead."
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"You want anything? No, thanks."
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"So, what's on your mind?"
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"Well, I, uh..."
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"I don't really know."
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"I, uh..."
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"I guess I would sort of like to get to know you better."
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"Why?"
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"Why not?"
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"Well, you might not know to look at me"
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"but I'm not exactly beautiful, or, uh, even good-looking."
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"I'm not quite plain."
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"Now, feel free to jump in and stop me anytime."
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"Hey, come on."
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"I'm no Robert Redford, you know."
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"I wouldn't mind looking like you if I was a man."
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"Would you want to look like me?"
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"Wouldn't be so bad."
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"I'd, you know, kind of fix up my hair"
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"and, uh... I'd do that sort of stuff with makeup"
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"and, uh, I'd go to a gym, and I'd work on myself."
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"I mean, that's what I would do."
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"Not that I'm saying that you should do anything."
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"It's just what I would do."
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"Okay, let's say I did all the hairdo and makeup"
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"and everything and dropped ten or 70 pounds."
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"Do you think I'd be attractive?"
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"Do you think I'd be attractive?"
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"Yeah, sure, why not?"
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"In a romantic sort of way?"
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