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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Weird Science (S05E05)

"It's your job to see that she's fed, well-rested,"
The Goldbergs (2013)
"and regular."
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"Actually, I'm pretty sure my job is to hand out pamphlets"
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"and make sure no one's being loud after 10:00."
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"Not anymore."
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"Here's a variety of medicines to help"
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"with Erica's allergies and sour tummy."
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"Now, if flu season comes early this year,"
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"how's your chicken soup game?"
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"Soup's really not my area."
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"I'm more of a resident advisor."
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"You have a freezer in your mini-fridge."
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"Keep this in there in case of emergencies."
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"I can take out the tiny little ice tray,"
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"but I'm still not sure that would fit."
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"You have given me zero confidence"
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"that you are up for this important task."
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"I agree. I'm not up to it."
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"Oh, there she is. There's my baby."
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"Erica, this is Srini, your R.A.."
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"Hi. I'm Erica. I hope my mom is behaving."
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"Um, she's, uh... Ah..."
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"So, what room am I in?"
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"Um, 103 with Erica Coolidge."
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"Oh, no."
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"You're both named Erica. Please don't be mad."
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"It's crazy how much you care."
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"Erica, you're in very good hands."
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"(Music playing)"
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"Hey! Hi, I'm your roommate,"
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"apparently also Erica."
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"Like, hi."
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"I totally fer sure call top bunk,"
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"mostly 'cause your dad already took the bottom."
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"Oh, your roomie's a valley girl."
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"Just like in that movie where everybody's rude and unlikable."
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"She'll be gone very soon."
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"Anyway, it's nice to finally meet."
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"- Fer sure. - Fer sure."
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"- Fer sure. - Fer sure."
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"- Fer sure. - Fer sure."
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"Or whatever. I'm not mocking your people."
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"Aw. This is so great."
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"You two are gonna be best friends for the rest of your..."
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"Oh, no! Is that a hot plate?"
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"That has got to go."
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"You're gonna burn the place down."
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"You know, that's how Buddy Holly died."
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"Bevy, Buddy Holly died in a plane crash."
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"We don't know there wasn't a hot plate on that plane."
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"She'll be gone soon, Erica. Just hang in there."
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"She's totally a barf bag, but I'll manage."
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"I was actually talking to myself."
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"Sorry I called your mom a barf bag."
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"No, no. Your instincts are good."
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"While Erica couldn't wait to lose my mom,"
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"my brother was trying to find love."
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"Prepare yourselves, ladies."
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"The impossible is now possible."
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"Barry Goldberg is on the open market."
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"Um, what is this?"
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"Your destiny."
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"So, who amongst you is ready to battle"
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"in a Thunderdome-like cage match for my affection?"
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"Dude, what world do you live in?"
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"You're, like, a 2 at best."
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"Naturally, Barry was delighted by the flirtation"
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"until he realized just bad he got burned."
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"Like always, he took it out on me and my pudding cup."
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"Why?"
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"Huge news, baby brother."
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"My senior year of awesome begins now."
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"I've got a three-part plan to achieve legendary status."
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"Step 1, lock down a new girlfriend way hotter"
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"and smarter than Lainey."
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"I'm realistic, which is why I've allotted 48 hours"
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"for her to find me."
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"It's in her court now."
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"Step 2, become starting varsity power forward?"
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"Weren't you kicked off the basketball team in 7th grade?"
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"Well, Coach McCoy said I could join the team"
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"after I learned how to pass."
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"But he died, so the ball-hog's back."
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"Next? Wait. Step 3 is me."
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"What does that even mean?"
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"I've penciled you in for a daily display of dominance"
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"and humiliation to boost my visibility"
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"in front of the more popular, meaner kids."
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"It's so detailed."
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"Purple nurples, dead arms, swirlies, butt hat."
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"What's a butt hat?"
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"Aw, I hate this hat. Take it off!"
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"Show's over, folks."
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"You did good work today, champ."
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"Love you."
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"Well, we now know what a butt hat is."
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"This is bad."
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"Without Lainey around, Barry's gonna concentrate"
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"all his horrible energy on me."
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"Well, there's only one thing left to do..."
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"Find him a new girlfriend."
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"- Let me help. - Don't."
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"He has a wildly unrealistic view of his general appeal."
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"Lainey fell for him, right?"
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"She was a unicorn."
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"There's no way we'll ever find someone so blind"
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"to Barry's idiocy ever again."
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"Well, maybe I can."
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"Just give me a list of the things he's looking for"
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"and we can find him a girl."
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"I'll try, but he doesn't really open up to me"
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"besides his butt cheeks to make a hat."
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"Yeah, I wouldn't keep bringing that up."
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"As I enlisted Jackie to help find a girl for Barry,"
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"Erica had finally found peace in her dorm,"
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"or so she thought."
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"Oh, there you are."
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"I have something special for you."
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"Um, that's like every lame R.A. pamphlet that exists."
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"Please, just take them."
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