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Clips from Scrubs - My Day Off (S01E01)

"Come on."
Scrubs
"- Does that not drive you crazy? - You get used to it."
Scrubs
"I know you're excited with the gown on but at no time are you to curtsy."
Scrubs
"He can say what he wants. but he's showing me off."
Scrubs
"Dr Benson."
Scrubs
"Just give us a second, will ya, big guy? Did you hear about her?"
Scrubs
"craving the attention of people we look up to."
Scrubs
"Any questions?"
Scrubs
"Good."
Scrubs
"- He seemed nice. - Careful, Newbie."
Scrubs
"So Elliot's exam was that bad?"
Scrubs
"What's the deal?"
Scrubs
"I think I broke my ass!"
Scrubs
"You're telling everyone I violated you."
Scrubs
"Not everyone, just the people that work here. And my parents."
Scrubs
"Was there something wrong with my exam?"
Scrubs
"So there it is. The classic trap. Two choices."
Scrubs
"Either wuss out or tell the truth."
Scrubs
"You're kinda rough."
Scrubs
"You're rough and you're a little businesslike."
Scrubs
"- You're cold. - You mean my hands?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, those too. I just think you could be more comforting."
Scrubs
"I could tell she appreciated how hard it was for me to say that."
Scrubs
"- I was watching that. - It's broken."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox. Did you get my memo reminding senior staff"
Scrubs
"that lab coats must be worn at all times?"
Scrubs
"but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture."
Scrubs
"and then I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket,"
Scrubs
"then invited the neighbourhood kids"
Scrubs
"to light it on fire and whack it with sticks."
Scrubs
"So, I have been looking at Dr Benson's chart."
Scrubs
"His chest x-ray was normal,"
Scrubs
"his vitals are stable, so let's discharge him."
Scrubs
"Now hold the phone there, skipper."
Scrubs
"Well, I haven't had my coffee yet, so I'm finding it hard coming up with"
Scrubs
"a more colourful way to say ''Who gives a crap?''"
Scrubs
"Actually, that wasn't half bad."
Scrubs
"who has presented vomiting, abdominal cramps and fever."
Scrubs
"I never realised how hard rounds are on the patient."
Scrubs
"It feels like you're on display."
Scrubs
"Still, Rodin's masterpiece makes us wonder,"
Scrubs
"why didn't he spend a little less time thinking"
Scrubs
"and a little more time at the gym?"
Scrubs
"I do cardio."
Scrubs
"Which most likely indicates what, Dr Reid?"
Scrubs
"How would you proceed, Dr Dorian?"
Scrubs
"I would give me that news in private, no matter how angry I was at me."
Scrubs
"Turf him to surgery. Moving on."
Scrubs
"Watch it, Bambi. You don't want a 100lb white girl mad at you."
Scrubs
"You'll flinch every time you hear a Range Rover."
Scrubs
"I can't believe I have to spend all Thanksgiving here."
Scrubs
"- Tell me that wouldn't kill you. - Not really."
Scrubs
"Do they celebrate Thanksgiving in your homeland?"
Scrubs
"- You mean Chicago? - You have a Chicago?"
Scrubs
"Be nice to me. I'm getting surgery."
Scrubs
"- Dr Wen is the attending. - Who's the intern doing the work?"
Scrubs
"Go get it."
Scrubs
"Good God."
Scrubs
"I'm pretty good with people."
Scrubs
"You're very cold. I mean, your hands..."
Scrubs
"- It's like you're a yeti. - I have bad circulation."
Scrubs
"I do this all day and it doesn't help."
Scrubs
"Listen, sweetie, you're a very efficient, competent doctor."
Scrubs
"or just people you feel have wronged you in some way?"
Scrubs
"- I appreciate your opinion. - It's not an opinion."
Scrubs
"You see those guys right there?"
Scrubs
"They're pretending to be asleep so you won't manhandle them."
Scrubs
"- They are not. - Dude, what are you doing?"
Scrubs
"Too frank, right?"
Scrubs
"I know. It's probably why my mom pushed me down the stairs."
Scrubs
"She is fat, though. And boring."
Scrubs
"BP's 60 over palp. Is he having a heart attack?"
Scrubs
"It's hypotension and electrical alternance on the monitor."
Scrubs
"Viral infections can cause pericarditis and a rapid accumulation of fluid."
Scrubs
"It looks like a heart attack but don't let it fool you."
Scrubs
"BP's stabilizing."
Scrubs
"- What have we got? - Don't worry. We're fine here."
Scrubs
"So from now on, I'm going to stop seeing Turk as my crazy frat brother."
Scrubs
"Dr Turk, if you will?"
Scrubs
"Fair enough."
Scrubs
"Dr Cotter will perform the procedure tomorrow morning."
Scrubs
"The best thing about friends is how quickly things like this blow over."
Scrubs
"You want some salsa for that chip on your shoulder?"
Scrubs
"I can't believe you. I would never ever do something like this to you."
Scrubs
"Well, I still laughed, but..."
Scrubs
"I felt a little guilty I wasn't here administering..."
Scrubs
"I must have the wrong room."
Scrubs
"- How are you, Dave? - I'm doing great, Bob."
Scrubs
"For God's sake, you were the Chief of Medicine here for over ten years."
Scrubs
"Am I right?"
Scrubs
"Yeah, it sounded familiar."
Scrubs
"- What? - I was wondering"
Scrubs
"how you comb your hair so the horns don't show?"
Scrubs
"I wonder what bothers you the most?"
Scrubs
"Is it that I saved his life and he likes me as a person?"
Scrubs
"I bet it's how much he respects me as a doctor."
Scrubs
"Carla, everyone likes you so much, it makes me wonder..."
Scrubs
"- Why patients think you're a cold fish? - My God, you noticed?"
Scrubs
"I'll be in the supply closet eating sugar packets."
Scrubs
"Look, Elliot..."
Scrubs
"I'm not the kind of person who likes telling people what to do, but..."
Scrubs
"Don't think of your patients as strangers."
Scrubs
"But when it comes to work, he's as capable and mature as anyone."
Scrubs
"Baby, I was being a walrus."
Scrubs
"JD's not only your friend but a patient too, and he's scared."
Scrubs
"Kelso is pushing your buttons. Every now and then let something go."
Scrubs
"Turk's not that mature. He spent all yesterday being a walrus."
Scrubs
"He had straws and stuff..."
Scrubs
"The only thing JD's scared of is sharks."
Scrubs
"And he has a weird thing with pennies. He's not scared about this."
Scrubs
"Kelso's not just some harmless guy pushing my buttons, Carla."
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"He's a pod person."
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"- You're wrong. - You're so wrong."
Scrubs
"Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong"
Scrubs
"You're wrong."
Scrubs
"I think you're right. I don't know how to connect with patients."
Scrubs
"or give them a reassuring pat on the arm."
Scrubs
"- What are you doing? - Nothing. You'll be great."
Scrubs
"Darn right."
Scrubs
"There you go, sir."
Scrubs
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