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Clips from The Simpsons - Rednecks and Broomsticks (S21E21)

"But if the goddess chose to help you"
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"By giving miss hoover the hershey squirts,"
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"Such is her divine wisdom."
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"Oh, listen, not that I've lost my skepticism,"
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"But I am interested in learning more about wiccans."
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"Are you a minority group"
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"As defined by ivy league admissions?"
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"Cornell and dartmouth."
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"What else ya got?"
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"We worship nature."
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"I worship nature!"
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"Want to join us?"
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"Well, it is an honor to be asked."
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"But I never make a final decision"
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"In the middle of a forest at night."
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"Frankie: Hey, hey, that's smart thinkin'!"
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"Shut up and dig your own grave."
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"What if I don't dig it?"
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"What are you gonna do then?"
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"With your bad back? Forget about it!"
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"(grunting)"
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"Lisa: Hmm..."
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"Is that a pentagram?"
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"Lis! You've finally come over to the dark side!"
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"Um, it's the wiccan home page."
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"I'm thinking of joining."
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"No, no, no."
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"You're too young to be a witch."
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"Savor the steps leading up to it."
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"College anorexic, string of bad marriages,"
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"Career disappointments, failed pottery shop."
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"And then when you're old and alone,"
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"You can hit the witch thing hard."
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"(dissonant note)"
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"Hey, every witch needs a familiar."
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"I'm gonna put a spell on you! Yes, I am,"
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"My tuna-breath familiar. (meows)"
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"(giggling): Zap! Zap! Zap!"
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"Zap! Zap! Zap!"
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"I curse you, hell's kitten!"
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"Just as I feared."
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"Her buddhism has led directly to witchcraft."
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"(gasps) and she's teleconferencing the devil"
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"Using that computer from hell!"
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"I think it says "dell.""
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"We'll let the authorities sort that out."
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"(slurping) mmm, not bad."
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"(sirens wailing) what's that twirly ruckus?"
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"(gasps) the gummiment!"
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"(panicked chattering)"
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"("cursum perficio" plays)"
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"With perfect faith and perfect love."
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"Wiccans (chanting): Join us, join us, join us."
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"Do not sanctify that witch!"
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"I kinda feel sorry for them, crammed in that back seat."
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"Toss them a judy blume novel, lou."
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"Uh, all we've got is wifey, chief."
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"Nothing with kids in it?"
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"Damn budget cuts."
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"Crowd (chanting): Burn, burn, burn! Burn, burn, burn!"
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"Double bubble boil and trouble?"
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"Today, springfield will see"
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"Its first witch trials in 12 years."
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"Oh, I think I see the witches now."
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"This reporter has never encountered"
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"Such disfigured crones."
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"We're not the witches!"
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"Oh, well then you must be victims"
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"Of the witches' hideous curse."
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"You didn't think I was so hideous that night we made out"
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"We all did crazy things on 9/11."
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"Ah, here come the witches."
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"Do you have a statement for us mortals?"
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"Goddess lilith, who knows our hearts are pure..."
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"All: Oh, queen of magic, show our persecutors that they are blind."
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"They are blind!"
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"I'm blind! I'm blind!"
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"What goes around, comes around."
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"Dear, god, I've gone blind."
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"Nurse, you'll have to be my eyes."
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"I'm blind, too!"
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"Then I guess it's up to me."
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"Gwendolyn nightshadow,"
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"Did you use your supernatural powers"
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"To blind half this town?"
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"We're just kids."
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"My real name isn't even gwendolyn nightshadow."
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"It's stacey, stacey deathsatan."
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"(gallery gasps)"
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"(thunder rumbles)"
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"The defendants recruited you,"
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"A young innocent, into their evil coven."
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"They believe in friendship and respecting the earth."
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"And they made me feel like I belonged."
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"Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record."
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"Strangely, I'll allow it."
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"Ladies and gentlemen,"
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"I am a big dummy with a stupid job."
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"I write down what other people say,"
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"Just like a big dummy would."
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"Could the court reporter read that back?"
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""I am a big dummy with a stupid job"?!"
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"Hey! (chuckling)"
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"In all my years of being a judge,"
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"I've never seen such a flimsy case."
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"Are you sure?"
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"'cause we've brought you a lot of flimsy cases."
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"Like that goat we accused of income tax evasion."
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"I still think he was guilty."
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"¶ ¶"
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"Well, I'm not wasting another minute on this."
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"Case dismissed!"
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"(relieved sighs)"
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"There's no justice here."
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"They made me blind!"
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"And now I can really hear how I bomb!"
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"(gallery clamoring)"
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"Oh, uh, don't mind me."
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"I'm just trying to get a fly on the ceiling."
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"Ah, I got you now."
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