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Clips from Family Guy - Lois Comes Out of Her Shell (S11E11)

"And over here are my toys."
Family Guy
"This is my fire truck, my Slinky, my Silly Putty."
Family Guy
"You know, Silly Putty's awesome,"
Family Guy
"but you know what's really cool? Serious Putty."
Family Guy
"Oh, this looks like fun!"
Family Guy
"It says I have cancer."
Family Guy
"We thought it would be better"
Family Guy
"if you heard it from chemicals in an egg."
Family Guy
"Hey, Stewie, you better come down."
Family Guy
"The party's about to start."
Family Guy
"What is that? Is that a turtle?"
Family Guy
"Yes, Brian. I found him at the park."
Family Guy
"I named him Sheldon."
Family Guy
"Oh, and get this: I brought him home today,"
Family Guy
"and coincidentally this is the day"
Family Guy
"Rupert started working out again."
Family Guy
"So transparent."
Family Guy
"Rupert? What happened to your eye?"
Family Guy
"Brian, did you pull one of Rupert's eyes off?"
Family Guy
"No. Why would I do that?"
Family Guy
"Maybe your turtle did it."
Family Guy
"Nonsense. Sheldon is a gentle soul."
Family Guy
"He wouldn't hurt anybody."
Family Guy
"Well, come on. Let's get downstairs."
Family Guy
"ALL: Surprise!"
Family Guy
"Yay! Birthday!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"You guys shouldn't have done this!"
Family Guy
"Hey, anytime you can celebrate the end of someone's periods."
Family Guy
"Everyone, everyone, I have something to say."
Family Guy
"To my dearest Lois on her birthday."
Family Guy
"What a journey we've had together."
Family Guy
"You know, life has a way of changing things."
Family Guy
"What were once two firm, impressive mountain peaks"
Family Guy
"have become a barren, strip-mined, muddy landslide"
Family Guy
"that droops ever downward."
Family Guy
"What were once pink and succulent rose petals"
Family Guy
"now take the form of the shredded, raggedy,"
Family Guy
"blown-out endpiece of a practical joker's exploding cigar."
Family Guy
"Peter, that- that's enough."
Family Guy
"Lois, you may not be"
Family Guy
"but you're still my reliable old plow horse"
Family Guy
"who's there each day"
Family Guy
"to pull the plow, to help around the barn,"
Family Guy
"and let the husband horse-slap a batch at her now and then."
Family Guy
"Well, I guess that's it."
Family Guy
"I love you, sweetheart."
Family Guy
"And I have a lovely gift of the batchslapping variety"
Family Guy
"waiting for you when I'm just the right amount of drunk."
Family Guy
"To Lois!"
Family Guy
"ALL: To Lois!"
Family Guy
"(sobbing, door shuts)"
Family Guy
"Lois! Mom!"
Family Guy
"Geez, what the hell's her problem?"
Family Guy
"Peter, she was already feeling insecure about her age,"
Family Guy
"and then you went and gave her that horrible speech!"
Family Guy
"Nobody likes to be humiliated in public."
Family Guy
"I'm King Stewie!"
Family Guy
"I rule with an iron fist!"
Family Guy
"La, la-la, la-la la-la! Look at me! Ooh!"
Family Guy
"In my office. Now."
Family Guy
"Hey, any of you guys seen your mother?"
Family Guy
"She never came to bed last night,"
Family Guy
"and I can't find her anywhere."
Family Guy
"(car horn beeps)"
Family Guy
"What the hell?"
Family Guy
"Hey, sluts!"
Family Guy
"OMG, stop staring at me, please-'kay-thanks."
Family Guy
"Mom, are you okay?"
Family Guy
"Lois, what's goin' on?"
Family Guy
"I'm what's goin' on, Peter."
Family Guy
"I got highlights, I went shopping,"
Family Guy
"and I had my..."
Family Guy
"So it's tighter now."
Family Guy
"Peter, I think Lois might be having a midlife crisis."
Family Guy
"Come on, dudes! Who wants to hop in my wheels"
Family Guy
"and head to the beach for some ultimate Frisbee?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, Sheldon, I'm with you."
Family Guy
"I can't... I can't do that."
Family Guy
"But look who just got herself a sick new tat."
Family Guy
"I know, I can't believe it either."
Family Guy
"I guess one of my flaws is I'm just kinda brave."
Family Guy
"anyone walking behind you will know that you had $60."
Family Guy
"Wow! That is awesome, Lois!"
Family Guy
"Your bum looks like an NBA guy's arm."
Family Guy
"'Cept it's not payin' someone to install"
Family Guy
"a PlayStation in a car."
Family Guy
"Lois, you do know that's permanent?"
Family Guy
"Good. Then that means"
Family Guy
"my ass is gonna look young forever."
Family Guy
"Guys, I, uh, I gotta go shoot one into the sink."
Family Guy
"Mom's acting and dressing like a 20-year-old."
Family Guy
"I know, and I'm worried about her."
Family Guy
"You can't just pretend to be something you're not."
Family Guy
"Yes, just ask Edward Scissorhands."
Family Guy
"Okay, now, I'm an excellent night nurse, so you two get"
Family Guy
"some much-deserved sleep and don't worry about a thing."
Family Guy
"I will take such loving care of this wonderful little gift."
Family Guy
"And when you wake up, well-rested,"
Family Guy
"your precious little baby will be smiling"
Family Guy
"as bright as the sun."
Family Guy
"It's dead."
Family Guy
"And while I remind you I can't read yet,"
Family Guy
"I can only imagine Madeline would say,"
Family Guy
"and find me some real parents.""
Family Guy
"Ah! Paper cut!"
Family Guy
"A razor blade?!"
Family Guy
"Who the hell uses a razor blade as a bookmark?!"
Family Guy
"All right, very funny, Stewie."
Family Guy
"What? What do you mean, what?"
Family Guy
"You replaced my Jack Daniels with flat Diet Coke."
Family Guy
"No, I didn't."
Family Guy
"And you're noticing this at 8:20 in the morning?"
Family Guy
"What has happened to your life?"
Family Guy
"Do you need to talk?"
Family Guy
"Just stay away from my booze!"
Family Guy
"It wasn't me, Brian."
Family Guy
"Well, if it wasn't you, who was it?"
Family Guy
"I mean, there's a lot of weird stuff"
Family Guy
"going on around here lately."
Family Guy
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