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Clips from 30 Rock - Sun Tea (S04E04)

"Quiet."
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"I may not have children anytime soon"
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"Oh, my."
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"They're still sprinkled with morning dew, Kenneth."
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"Two."
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"This is a classic, pre-war"
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"What?"
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"No Polish."
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"I live here."
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"Oh, haven't you heard?"
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"We should talk."
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"Well, I'm not buying, and they can't just kick me out."
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"No, they can't, but they can hike your rent up."
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"Let me show you the bedroom."
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"What?"
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"All right."
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"As I'm sure you've concluded from the headline,"
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"Don Geiss' estranged son, Bertram,"
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"is suing his half sister, Kathy,"
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"They could have done "Geiss-Scream Son-Pay"?"
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"You know, like ice cream sundae."
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"Don Geiss is my hero."
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"My mentor."
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"A great man."
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"He invented that."
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"I don't think..."
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"Oh, Jack, you don't mean that."
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"Talk about your thing now."
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"Are you going to buy your place?"
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"Well, I love my building."
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"But if I'm going to buy a place,"
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"You know why my place is so big?"
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"When I was first married to my ex-wife,"
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"Over the years, I kept buying the floors above me"
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"to make room for the family I thought we'd have."
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"You're doing okay."
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"And this could be your dream apartment."
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"If he's not, make him an offer he can't refuse."
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"Trademark 1974."
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"What, like, bribe him?"
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"there are no rules."
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"Frank, were you going to pee in that jar?"
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"That's what you use the jars for?"
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"You told me that was sun tea."
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"Some of them are sun tea."
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"And some of them were sun tea."
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"We have a gentleman's agreement."
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"He gets the jars, and in return, he's agreed"
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"to let a Yale sweatshirt be our designated fart dampener."
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"What is wrong with you guys?"
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"What would it be like if Cerie and Sue and I were not here?"
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"Shut it down."
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"And then, one day, as you drink some apple juice,"
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"you'll wonder, "Where has this jar been?""
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"I will fight my sister tooth and nail"
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"to get what I deserve."
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"After the deposition, Kathy Geiss' lawyer"
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"offered this rebuttal."
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"My name is Teddy Ruxpin."
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"Can you and I be friends?"
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"Mr. Donaghy, you wanted to see me?"
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"Is it menial?"
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"Global warming, sir?"
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"I'm sorry, that's just a bunch of scientist talk."
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"Same people who'd have you believe"
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"that my great grandfather was a monkey."
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"If he was a monkey, then why was he killed by a monkey?"
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"I mean, I love the earth."
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"I have these rare Kadupul blossoms flown in every morning"
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"That's the definition of green."
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"And yet, they force us to do more."
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"More sacrifices."
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"Well, they make our shoes and wallets."
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"I need a five percent reduction of energy use across the board."
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"I'll do it if you insist, sir."
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"Hi, I'm Liz, and I live right below you."
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"New kitchen, original molding,"
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"So you going to try and bribe me like the rest of"
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"these yuppie, bottom-feeders?"
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"What?"
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"No!"
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"Bribe, people do that?"
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"Yeah, well, the guy above me offered me $10,000 to move out."
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"That's a lot."
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"It's obscene."
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"Now it's all chain stores and fancy restaurants."
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"Yeah, we cool people have got to hold our ground,"
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"fight the Man, Michael Moore, et cetera."
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"Is that a working fireplace?"
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"Burger King all day and Cinnabon all night."
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"Yeah, I just came up here to make sure you're staying."
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"make duplexes for their imaginary children"
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"and their imaginary husband, Astronaut Mike Dexter."
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"So what's your plan?"
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"Look, what if we team up?"
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"What do you mean?"
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"I can't afford to stay here on my own."
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"And based on your shoes and teeth,"
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"I'm guessing you can't, either."
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"So why don't we move in together?"
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"There's two of them?"
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"Oh!"
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"Is that bad?"
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"So now you're your own upstairs neighbor,"
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"Well, I'm going to pretend to move in with Brian,"
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"and make my dream apartment."
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"if I was smarter."
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"I know, I'm terrible, but Brian sucks."
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"Like check in at an Italian sex party."
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"for the lady next door"
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"Hello, Mrs. Gerstein."
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"Here's what you're going to do."
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"And if you make me do the dishes, I will kill myself!"
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"And I'm going to teach you how to be a drama queen."
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"And if I fail, I'm going to take a bunch of pills,"
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"and it's going to be your fault!"
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"Still got it."
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"Don't worry, Jack."
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"Tracy, Jr., to what do we owe this visit?"
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"It's "Take Your Black Kid to Work Day"."
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