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Clips from American Dad! - Crotchwalkers (S09E09)

"Jealous?"
American Dad!
"A little."
American Dad!
"Okay, so Toshi's in, I'm in. You guys in?"
American Dad!
"Okay, but how are we gonna do it?"
American Dad!
"But you're just beginners,"
American Dad!
"so we need to find a place that's easy to steal from."
American Dad!
"Why didn't people come?"
American Dad!
"We had 45 maybes on our Evites."
American Dad!
"The only place that "maybe" means maybe is sex."
American Dad!
"What's up with the gyroscope on his junk?"
American Dad!
"Stan was... injured"
American Dad!
"and went into a rare condition known as..."
American Dad!
"His, um... nuggs were so traumatized,"
American Dad!
"they ran up into his body to heal."
American Dad!
"What? Will he be okay?"
American Dad!
"They might drop down again someday,"
American Dad!
"but the doctors say there's a good chance"
American Dad!
"they'll just die up there,"
American Dad!
"like a gut-torn rabbit in a wooded thicket."
American Dad!
"Wait, hold on a second. I'm confused."
American Dad!
"Why the hell didn't you dicks show up to our balalaika concert?!"
American Dad!
"than supporting your commie music!"
American Dad!
"Stop laughing and treat me with the respect I deserve!"
American Dad!
"My voice is not that..."
American Dad!
"...not that high."
American Dad!
"It's a little higher than usual."
American Dad!
"And that, Mr. Baby, is why I vastly prefer"
American Dad!
"a good round of marbles to these confounded video games."
American Dad!
"Back in my day, all we had to have fun"
American Dad!
"was sleepy hobos and fire ants."
American Dad!
"but there's a can outside, and it's not gonna kick itself."
American Dad!
"Hold it right there, son."
American Dad!
"What's in your pocket there?"
American Dad!
"And how about your other pocket?"
American Dad!
"There, there, sweetie."
American Dad!
"Hey, Stan, want me to horse whisper"
American Dad!
"Wh-What did they say?"
American Dad!
"It's no use."
American Dad!
"There's no talking sense into them..."
American Dad!
"♪Aah! Thank you! Aah! Ha-ha!"
American Dad!
"Dad, things'll turn out okay."
American Dad!
"Jawohl. I lost my testes when I became a fish."
American Dad!
"But being a fish isn't all bad."
American Dad!
"Now I can write inspirational messages in the water."
American Dad!
"No! I'm a freak!"
American Dad!
"Starting..."
American Dad!
"Hello."
American Dad!
"I'll be right down!"
American Dad!
"Wow!"
American Dad!
"Ha! Yeah!"
American Dad!
"Thank you for letting Steve off with just a warning, Mr. Baby."
American Dad!
"Well, you're lucky I'm just a mom-and-pop operation."
American Dad!
"Technically, just a pop operation,"
American Dad!
"since the woman I share my bed with"
American Dad!
"is not the mother of my children,"
American Dad!
"But the bigger corporate stores"
American Dad!
"won't be so forgiving with your boy."
American Dad!
"Steve will learn his lesson."
American Dad!
"Yo, Julian, where my Razzles?!"
American Dad!
"Damn it, woman, why won't you yell at me?!"
American Dad!
"And what are we doing in your bedroom?"
American Dad!
"Oh, God!"
American Dad!
"But that's where the Blouse Monster lives!"
American Dad!
"A-A secret room?"
American Dad!
"Ah, just a lot of things I've stolen over the years..."
American Dad!
"successfully. What?!"
American Dad!
"Don't you get it, Steve?"
American Dad!
"I'm angry that you got caught!"
American Dad!
"Aah! Blouse Monster!"
American Dad!
"No! I won't put you on!"
American Dad!
"I don't understand."
American Dad!
"you shoplifted all this stuff?"
American Dad!
"And unlike you,"
American Dad!
"Wow, look at all these treasures."
American Dad!
"A ream of printer paper,"
American Dad!
"a VHS tape rewinder,"
American Dad!
"a four-pack of paint rollers."
American Dad!
"Huh, this all looked a lot more impressive on first glance."
American Dad!
"That's 'cause I give 'em all a regular spritz"
American Dad!
"It's so beautiful."
American Dad!
"This is all so..."
American Dad!
"badass!"
American Dad!
"I thought you were a typical, lame mom,"
American Dad!
"but it turns out you're a hard-core criminal?"
American Dad!
"A criminal is someone who gets caught, Steve."
American Dad!
"We're artists."
American Dad!
"You're my son."
American Dad!
"And from now on, when my son steals,"
American Dad!
"he's gonna know how to get away with it."
American Dad!
"I can't believe"
American Dad!
"we're getting ready to shoplift together!"
American Dad!
"What mother doesn't dream of this moment?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do this!"
American Dad!
"Let's lift some khakis!"
American Dad!
"The Gash?"
American Dad!
"You can't start there."
American Dad!
"The security is top-notch."
American Dad!
"First, I have to teach you everything"
American Dad!
"about how to work a snatch."
American Dad!
"Please tell me we're still talking about stealing."
American Dad!
"♪ I know it ain't right"
American Dad!
"♪ Don't tease me"
American Dad!
"♪ Why don't we steal away"
American Dad!
"Uh, not so fast."
American Dad!
"I think the periods imply detached sarcasm."
American Dad!
"Of course they do!"
American Dad!
"The entire second verse"
American Dad!
"you were plucking instead of plinking!"
American Dad!
"Don't you start, fish!"
American Dad!
"Wait. Where are you going?"
American Dad!
"I don't need you two to get famous."
American Dad!
"Most people just come"
American Dad!
"to hear the garmon anyway."
American Dad!
"The mariachi band at El Compadre's"
American Dad!
"been begging me to join 'em."
American Dad!
"Look who thinks he's the next Igor Kasminov."
American Dad!
"That is it!"
American Dad!
"Fine!"
American Dad!
"Nothing will unite us ever again!"
American Dad!
"Presents!"
American Dad!
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