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Clips from Seinfeld - The Virgin (S04E04)

"You might have, if I had stayed."
Seinfeld
"So you know what, I got served with papers today."
Seinfeld
"Ping is suing me. I need your virgin as a witness, so you better be nice to her."
Seinfeld
"I was trying to be."
Seinfeld
"Look at George. He lucked out, huh?"
Seinfeld
"- They had a good thing going. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Since she met him, she's been vomited on..."
Seinfeld
"...her family cabin's been burned down..."
Seinfeld
"...learned her father's a homosexual and got fired from a high-paying job."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, they had a real good thing going."
Seinfeld
"Well, actually, I'm a writer."
Seinfeld
"In fact, I'm writing a comedy pilot for NBC right now."
Seinfeld
"How can you write that crap?"
Seinfeld
"A sitcom?"
Seinfeld
"In ancient tribal cultures, they would actually sacrifice a virgin."
Seinfeld
"...and throw her into a volcano. There's a first date you'll never forget."
Seinfeld
"Tell me, Lisa, how did the date end? Not well, Chuck. Not well."
Seinfeld
"Hold it. I got a little something for you."
Seinfeld
"- We are dead. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"- What's the closet business? - What is it your business?"
Seinfeld
"She mentioned she had a boyfriend. Then it hit me:"
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Marla. - Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- Stacy. - George."
Seinfeld
"George."
Seinfeld
"We got a big meeting with them tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"...in your medicine cabinet?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"...you lose the job."
Seinfeld
"Suppose I go up to David Letterman."
Seinfeld
"He works at NBC. I work at NBC."
Seinfeld
"I don't think you are."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me one second."
Seinfeld
"I was talking to this guy, and I just happened to throw..."
Seinfeld
"So I just froze, you know:"
Seinfeld
"...she grabbed it before the guy noticed, so I mean..."
Seinfeld
"I don't think I could do it."
Seinfeld
"- Wanna order? - All right, then we gotta get work done."
Seinfeld
"Let's go. We don't have time before the meeting."
Seinfeld
"- You with me? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"That's the stupidest idea I ever heard."
Seinfeld
"Have you been to a Chinese restaurant..."
Seinfeld
"- When is Russell coming back? - So that's the idea?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, Mr. Schirmack. How are you?"
Seinfeld
"What is Here Come De Judge? Here Come De Judge!"
Seinfeld
"...they pull me back in."
Seinfeld
"Her parents got along beautifully, but the house was in bad shape."
Seinfeld
"I was just giving her the straight dope."
Seinfeld
"What do I do?"
Seinfeld
"And he actually tried to use it to hit on me."
Seinfeld
"...off your jacket now."
Seinfeld
"I just saw David Letterman walk by."
Seinfeld
"You gotta be there for her. You gotta wait until she gets another job."
Seinfeld
"- Why would I? This is my apartment. - Well, what if it was my apartment?"
Seinfeld
"I wouldn't put stock in anything Elaine has to say..."
Seinfeld
"- Head really hurts. - What happened?"
Seinfeld
"I must go and comfort my poor family. Jerry, come on."
Seinfeld
"- I thought I was getting the butler. - Don't worry."
Seinfeld
"- Fine. - And get extra MSG."
Seinfeld
"We've got a number of ideas."
Seinfeld
"Well, we thought it would be very funny..."
Seinfeld
"No, no, I have green light. You jaywalk."
Seinfeld
"- What's going on? - What's going on?"
Seinfeld
"- I would like to help you out, but- - Do you believe my luck?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, no. What-? Are you sure, a girlfriend?"
Seinfeld
"- Go out. It's nice out. - There's nothing out there for me."
Seinfeld
"Well, it was about to end anyway."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"I'll get the pea pods, and you can't have any of my pea pods."
Seinfeld
"Don't worry, he'll be here. We only got two hours."
Seinfeld
"You need a little pioneer spirit. You don't have any of that..."
Seinfeld
"I've been on TV, buddy boy."
Seinfeld
"Are you telling them the butler story?"
Seinfeld
"A sitcom."
Seinfeld
"...Get out of Relationship Free cards."
Seinfeld
"See those two women over there?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, right. Oh, no! Man."
Seinfeld
"- Are you very fussy about your pants? - I don't think I am."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, but now you're in here all the time."
Seinfeld
"Now it cost me $35 to see Havana."
Seinfeld
"Well, you think I should say something?"
Seinfeld
"How, you know, they gotta get up early tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"It's all his fault. Now, he has absolutely no money."
Seinfeld
"I'll get some ice."
Seinfeld
"Giddyup again. I'm killing, man."
Seinfeld
"What is the cha-cha?"
Seinfeld
"I'l speak to you later."
Seinfeld
"This is incredible. He fired her! I'm out, baby! I'm out!"
Seinfeld
"Well, if you'd like to be thrown into a volcano again, we'll pay for it."
Seinfeld
"There was this problem."
Seinfeld