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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Bad Beginning: Part One (S01E01)

"But you in the audience have no such obligation,"
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"a word which here means dreadful and melancholy."
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"in the lives of the Baudelaires."
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"but they were extremely unlucky."
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"at the heart of a dirty and busy city,"
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"to take a rickety trolley alone to the seashore."
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"We know what festive means."
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"were working at top speed."
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"He was intelligent."
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"Happiness is beneficial for the body,"
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"she made up for with the size and sharpness of her four teeth."
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"Excuse me, Violet, but why are you using your left hand?"
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"I don't mean to criticize,"
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"It is the source of all true art and science."
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"It worked."
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"From the bank? What's he doing here?"
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"Your parents have perished in a terrible fire."
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"my dears."
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"Perished means killed."
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"I have spent months of research and years crying myself to sleep,"
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"But... all my associates and I have managed to learn"
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"And within moments, the entire Baudelaire mansion"
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"We have absolutely nothing."
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"which means I'll be handling all matters concerning everything they left behind."
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"Until then, you will be placed with the proper guardian, or guardians,"
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"as decided by myself and my fellow bankers at Mulctuary Money Management."
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"you'll stay with my family."
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"What does blanched mean?"
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"Dearest, maybe not in front of the children."
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"But I thought it would cheer them up, the little Gloomy Guses."
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"Some people wait a lifetime for that."
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"- P-R-O... P-R-R... - P-R-O-M-A-E-O..."
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"- I'm sorry. - before you start speaking!"
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"Do what?"
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"I regret to inform you, the Baudelaires' fate was worse."
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"Chop-chop, Baudelaires!"
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"I know you must be nervous about living with a guardian."
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"I remember how I was when I was your age."
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"will turn to excitement when you meet this man."
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"His name is Count Olaf."
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"why didn't our parents ever invite him over?"
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"Yes, I'm Violet Baudelaire,"
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"and this is my brother, Klaus, and this is my sister, Sunny."
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"Although I don't know who I think I'm kidding,"
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"His house is over there."
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"Hello, hello, hello."
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"Hello. Hello."
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"You're welcome."
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"Please, come in, and mind you wipe your feet on the mat"
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"Well, welcome to my humble home."
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"Count Olaf, the Baudelaire fortune is not to be used for such matters."
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"Ah, yes, the fire."
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"All right, then."
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"aren't you going to say How do you do?"
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"has haunted me since I first met him as a young man."
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"Rich brats like you are probably spoiled rotten"
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"The stove is a bit like a servant."
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"This is where I do all my reading."
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"You'll have to redo the floors."
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"Thoughts?"
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"First of all, first impressions are often wrong."
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"Very true."
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"Until then, we'll make this our home."
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"You're a little old for a Girl Scout."
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"Oh, no. No."
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"Let me tell you, those children are monsters."
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"Well, they did just lose their..."
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"I meant bed as in more than one bed, obviously."
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"The plural of bed is... bed."
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"Are you sure? What did they say?"
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"Rich kids."
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"if only she'd seen the children in their horrible circumstances,"
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"I never wanna use a toothbrush again."
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"We even washed your underwear."
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"prepare the food, set the table, serve dinner, clean up afterward,"
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"Do you know what that is?"
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"Yes, Count Olaf told me you were very particular about that."
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"I wouldn't say much."
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"Well, perhaps not compared to what you're used to."
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"- Yes? - Is there a supermarket nearby?"
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"I don't know what we would have done without you."
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"Oh, you're resourceful children."
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"as a world-renowned member of the judiciary..."
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"and in a series of strained, platonic relationships."
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"We don't mind your saying so."
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"Klaus, what's that thing James Brown said?"
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"It's the count, it's the count It's the count"
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"It's the count, it's the count It's the count"
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"- O! - Oh, my God"
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"- U! - Unbelievable good looks"
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"- T! - For the talent"
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"It's the count, it's the count It's the count"
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"It's the count, it's the count It's the count"
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"It's the count, it's the count"
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"It's the count"
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"Applaud means go like this."
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"that, on opening night, will change your life."
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"All of the artistic and financial aspects of my career are finally coming together"
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"like two pieces of a bread in the middle of a sandwich."
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"In any case, we demand congratulations."
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"You know, every time she talks,"
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"It wasn't rose, it was just watered down."
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"To invite people to dine with us is to make ourselves responsible"
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"But he was an 18th century philosopher and gourmand..."
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"and these were three children with very little catering experience."
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"And I think Mom would be proud of how you made your own pasta."
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"Maybe we can make this our home after all."
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"When are we going to eat?"
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"- Wow, that was quick. - And it smells delicious."
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"there is no I in acting..."
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"no selfish urges, no arrogance,"
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"no dangerous overabundance of inflated self-regard."
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"I ask myself, Is it worth it?"
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"You didn't tell us you wanted roast beef."
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"And as your father, I am not someone to be trifled with."
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"You can't go easy on children. They need to be taught to obey their elders."
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"You asked them to make dinner."
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"- Sunny! - Put her down."
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"We're leaving for rehearsals."
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"and wash the dishes, and polish the silver,"
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