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Clips from Seinfeld - The Heart Attack (S02E02)

"Let me ask you something."
Seinfeld
"How much do you think it would cost to have tonsils and adenoids..."
Seinfeld
"...removed in a hospital?"
Seinfeld
"...four grand?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Holistic."
Seinfeld
"That's what I need. That's the answer."
Seinfeld
"You like the way I talked you into coming?"
Seinfeld
"Don't flatter yourself, my friend."
Seinfeld
"I'm here strictly for material. And I have a feeling..."
Seinfeld
"All I know is, I've been going to doctors all my life. What's it gotten me?"
Seinfeld
"I'm 33, I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty..."
Seinfeld
"...l'm already facing the problems of old age."
Seinfeld
"I completely skipped healthy adulthood."
Seinfeld
"...medium orgasm."
Seinfeld
"Besides, what's it gonna cost me, 38 bucks?"
Seinfeld
"Would you not put your foot on that, please?"
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"- What month were you born? - April."
Seinfeld
"You should have been born in August."
Seinfeld
"Your parents would have been well-advised to wait."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"Do you use hot water in the shower?"
Seinfeld
"- Yes. - Stop using it."
Seinfeld
"- Okay. - I'm off hot water."
Seinfeld
"Kramer tells me that you are interested in an alternative to surgery."
Seinfeld
"I think we can help you."
Seinfeld
"See, unfortunately, the medical establishment..."
Seinfeld
"...is a business like any other business."
Seinfeld
"And business needs customers."
Seinfeld
"They want to sell you their most expensive item..."
Seinfeld
"...which is unnecessary surgery."
Seinfeld
"Can I use hot water on my face?"
Seinfeld
"No. You know..."
Seinfeld
"...I am not a businessman."
Seinfeld
"I am a holistic healer. It's a calling. It's a gift."
Seinfeld
"You see, it's in the best interest of the medical profession..."
Seinfeld
"...that you remain sick. See, that insures good business."
Seinfeld
"You're not a patient, you're a customer."
Seinfeld
"And you're not a doctor, but you play one in real life."
Seinfeld
"What about shaving?"
Seinfeld
"May I?"
Seinfeld
"I guess so."
Seinfeld
"You are in disharmony."
Seinfeld
"The throat is the gateway to the lung."
Seinfeld
"Tonsillitis, adenoiditis is, in Chinese medical terms..."
Seinfeld
"...an invasion of heat and wind."
Seinfeld
"You know..."
Seinfeld
"Can it be lukewarm?"
Seinfeld
"Too much dairy? You really think I'm eating too much dairy."
Seinfeld
"The tongue."
Seinfeld
"Yes, the tongue."
Seinfeld
"It's a muscular organ."
Seinfeld
"Consists of two parts:"
Seinfeld
"The body and the root."
Seinfeld
"You see, it's covered by this mucous membrane."
Seinfeld
"It's what gives it its furred appearance."
Seinfeld
"Very tactile."
Seinfeld
"Your tea is ready now."
Seinfeld
"This will solve your so-called tonsil problem."
Seinfeld
"It's a special concoction."
Seinfeld
"- It contains cramp bark. - I love cramp bark."
Seinfeld
"And some couch grass."
Seinfeld
"Couch grass and cramp bark?"
Seinfeld
"I think that's what killed Curly."
Seinfeld
"Go ahead, drink it, George."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. Tor?"
Seinfeld
"May I ask you a question?"
Seinfeld
"You have intuitive abilities."
Seinfeld
"I have this note I can't read. I was wondering if..."
Seinfeld
"Yes!"
Seinfeld
"Go ahead, George, drink it."
Seinfeld
"It's not too bad."
Seinfeld
"I'm an eggplant!"
Seinfeld
"I didn't take your Chuckle!"
Seinfeld
"I had five Chuckles. I ate the green and the yellow. The red is missing."
Seinfeld
"- I don't even like Chuckles! - Maybe he doesn't like them."
Seinfeld
"My face! My face! Get me to the hospital!"
Seinfeld
"I want that Chuckle, you hear?"
Seinfeld
"- What, you're gonna fight? - No! I'm a mutant!"
Seinfeld
"All right. I'm gonna mess you up, man!"
Seinfeld
"My heart!"
Seinfeld
"- This is an emergency! - I don't like Chuckles, man."
Seinfeld
"If I hear you one more time, I'm gonna kill you!"
Seinfeld
"It's a jelly candy. Comes in five flavours."
Seinfeld
"You see, taste buds run on grooves along surfaces."
Seinfeld
"- Can you let go of my tongue now? - What?"
Seinfeld
"- Let go of my tongue. - Oh, sorry."
Seinfeld
"Well, I should get going."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing? - I was gonna kiss you good night."
Seinfeld
"A kiss?"
Seinfeld
"With the tongue? The glossa with the bumps and the papillae?"
Seinfeld
"I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"- You can't just leave him there. - I told him I was gonna mess him up."
Seinfeld
"- Can you call him an ambulance? - I told him I didn't take his Chuckle!"
Seinfeld
"- I don't eat that gooey crap! - Hey, watch the road."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, watch out! - Watch out!"
Seinfeld
"How you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Can't talk?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, how'd you get the plastic one?"
Seinfeld
"I like that."
Seinfeld
"So how's life without tonsils?"
Seinfeld
"What? What's that?"
Seinfeld
"So how much is this thing gonna cost you, like 5000, 6000?"
Seinfeld
"Well, live and learn. At least we lived."
Seinfeld
"Kramer went to Ackman. He feels all better already."
Seinfeld
"Oh, poor George."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, I can't stay long. I don't want to run into Dr. Tongue."
Seinfeld
"See?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, please, come on. It's nothing. - Hey, turn up the TV."
Seinfeld
"It is just as you prophesised."
Seinfeld
"The planets of our solar system incinerating..."
Seinfeld
"...lik e flaming globes, Zigmond, lik e flaming globes!"
Seinfeld
"That's it! That's it! Flaming globes of Zigmond!"
Seinfeld
"That's my note. That's what I thought was so funny."
Seinfeld
"It's not funny."
Seinfeld
"There's nothing funny about that."
Seinfeld
"Shut up!"
Seinfeld
"I have a friend who's a hypochondriac. Always thinks he's sick, never is."
Seinfeld
"Then you have another type of person..."
Seinfeld
"...always thinks they're well, no matter how bad they are."
Seinfeld
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