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Clips from Community (2009) - Comparative Religion (S01E01)

"is on his way to the student lounge!"
Community (2009)
"It sounds like "penis". I just got it too."
Community (2009)
"It's to remind us that the real meaning of this season is Christmas."
Community (2009)
"That did not make allergic sense. You an idiot?"
Community (2009)
"We get it. You and the A-Team are awesome."
Community (2009)
"Wanna hear something funny?"
Community (2009)
"Knock, knock."
Community (2009)
"My fist up your balls!"
Community (2009)
"Merry happy!"
Community (2009)
"have a bed frame, keep my guitar in its case..."
Community (2009)
"I'm over 23."
Community (2009)
"Real men turn the other cheek."
Community (2009)
"I could wear one of my Hanukah sweaters."
Community (2009)
"Don't we have a diverse little family."
Community (2009)
"As an agnostic, I'm gonna bring my winning smile."
Community (2009)
"Dude, I will shoo your nose down your throat!"
Community (2009)
"It's usted, dude. Even I know that."
Community (2009)
"Obnoxious, cramping my style. You smell like french-fry oil."
Community (2009)
"She'll start in with all her mother-y, guilt-inducing powers."
Community (2009)
"Dangerous combo."
Community (2009)
"You're a pretty big dude. Probably got some moves."
Community (2009)
"The plan here isn't for me to get hit. It's for me to hit him."
Community (2009)
"We have to teach Jeffrey how to fight."
Community (2009)
"The other head."
Community (2009)
"On Christmas?"
Community (2009)
"I have two boys."
Community (2009)
"the die has been cast with this crazy bully guy. He picked on Abed,"
Community (2009)
"Hash browns and applesauce... that's nice."
Community (2009)
"It's a traditional muslim dish."
Community (2009)
"Tell it to the birthday cake you never got."
Community (2009)
"I get 72 virgins in heaven."
Community (2009)
"trying so hard to re-create something"
Community (2009)
"Even if that means supporting us"
Community (2009)
"when we do things that you don't agree with."
Community (2009)
"I'm not gonna fight you."
Community (2009)
"Me... I don't believe in any of that,"
Community (2009)
"In spanish 102!"
Community (2009)
"Man, Mike got you good."
Community (2009)
"happy new one."
Community (2009)
"Happy last day before winter break, Greendale!"
Community (2009)
"Time to visit our loved ones."
Community (2009)
"Some of you will travel as far as three miles!"
Community (2009)
"Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland in the quad"
Community (2009)
"where we're giving away catalogues of next semester's classes."
Community (2009)
"What's that sound?"
Community (2009)
"Is that the tippy-tapping of secular boots on the roof?"
Community (2009)
"It must be yet another sign"
Community (2009)
"that it is the season,"
Community (2009)
"because rumor has it"
Community (2009)
"Pierce, I'd like to commend you for letting that one go."
Community (2009)
""PC-ness"."
Community (2009)
"Now I get it."
Community (2009)
"It's still Christmas to all of us, and I made you all a little gift,"
Community (2009)
"because you're like my new family."
Community (2009)
""WWBJD"?"
Community (2009)
"If this stands for "What Would Billy Joel Do","
Community (2009)
"I'll tell you right now... He'd write another crappy song."
Community (2009)
"Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel."
Community (2009)
""What Would Baby Jesus Do?""
Community (2009)
"Thank you. I'm gonna put that in the pocket closest to my heart."
Community (2009)
"No, it's a bracelet. You put 'em on."
Community (2009)
"Everybody put 'em on."
Community (2009)
"You took all the winter-doodles."
Community (2009)
"What are you, a douche bag?"
Community (2009)
"There's a lot of other cookies left."
Community (2009)
"There's macadamia nut cookies there. I have a tree-nut allergy."
Community (2009)
"Stay away from Christmas-tree-shaped cookies."
Community (2009)
"- Now beat it. - Look at that."
Community (2009)
"Pretty boy standing up for bird face over here."
Community (2009)
"Give me a winter-doodle."
Community (2009)
"If you're trying to be menacing, don't call the cookie by its name."
Community (2009)
"You're funny. You're a funny man."
Community (2009)
"Who's there?"
Community (2009)
"This ain't over."
Community (2009)
"There won't always be a Dean around. All right?"
Community (2009)
"Still waiting on those cookies."
Community (2009)
"Jeff protected my honor. Like my bodyguard,"
Community (2009)
"I was the kid from Meatballs, Jeff the guy from Full Metal Jacket,"
Community (2009)
"and the moustache guy was the brother on Entourage."
Community (2009)
"- Thanks for dumbing that down for us. - You got it."
Community (2009)
"So what's the deal? Leave your stones in your other suit?"
Community (2009)
"- Why didn't you rap him in the face? - For the same reason that I floss,"
Community (2009)
"I'm proud of you for handling it peacefully,"
Community (2009)
"like a certain little birthday boy."
Community (2009)
"- Let's see 'em. - Nonsense."
Community (2009)
"Men were wired to fight each other so women could choose the right mate."
Community (2009)
"The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness."
Community (2009)
"He wasn't gay. He had a moustache."
Community (2009)
"You know what I have? Finals."
Community (2009)
"Are we cramming for Spanish or not?"
Community (2009)
"I need a 65, or I'm gonna flunk the class."
Community (2009)
"Why didn't you do extra-credit tasks if you knew that you were..."
Community (2009)
"failing?"
Community (2009)
"Doing more than the minimum work is my definition of..."
Community (2009)
"- failing. - Quick question..."
Community (2009)
"You all coming to my Christmas party right after the final,"
Community (2009)
"or are you stopping home to change into your Christmas outfits?"
Community (2009)
"I didn't know you weren't Christian."
Community (2009)
"One might even say I'm Jewish."
Community (2009)
"That's good for you. That's wonderful."
Community (2009)
"- I respect all religions of the world. - I'm Muslim."
Community (2009)
"- Jehovah's witness. - Atheist."
Community (2009)
"- The lord is testing me. - It is a subject that breeds conflicts."
Community (2009)
"Can we please do..."
Community (2009)
"- What religion are you? - I'm agnostic."
Community (2009)
"Agnostic... Lazy man's atheist."
Community (2009)
"I'm born-again."
Community (2009)
"We had a re-birthing ritual in my friend's hot tub."
Community (2009)
"I'm now a level-five laser lotus in my Buddhist community."
Community (2009)
"That does not sound like Buddhism. Are you sure you're not in a cult?"
Community (2009)
"Just by asking me that question,"
Community (2009)
"you've put me back down to a level four."
Community (2009)
"You now owe me 2,000 energon cubes."
Community (2009)
"Do you know how foolish you sound right now?"
Community (2009)
"What else do you believe in, blood transfusions?"
Community (2009)
"Jehovah's witnesses are a type of christian, right?"
Community (2009)
"But we don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas."
Community (2009)
"And we can't drink."
Community (2009)
"- But it helps. - So you're like a muslim."
Community (2009)
"I say we open up this party to all faiths."
Community (2009)
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