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Clips from Modern Family - My Funky Valentine (S01E01)

"So, Fratelli's tonight? Hello, cannoli canoe."
Modern Family
"Jay, you look so strong and sexy."
Modern Family
"You're gonna love him. Trust me."
Modern Family
"Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now."
Modern Family
"Did you indicate to her how long that you were gonna take?"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪"
Modern Family
"Okay, what do you have in mind?"
Modern Family
"Kinda wrecking it."
Modern Family
"- [Inhales Sharply] - [Normal Voice] Too- No?"
Modern Family
"This is so frustrating."
Modern Family
"And she's on a date with him at my favorite restaurant, Great Shakes."
Modern Family
"They had over 4,000 photos of him escaping from the bank."
Modern Family
"specific."
Modern Family
"You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive."
Modern Family
"I didn't mean that. Can we try this again?"
Modern Family
"Do you have eyes on her? Is she here?"
Modern Family
"[Mitchell] Let's not talk like that anymore. Over."
Modern Family
"Well, this is nice. I mean, if we can't have our own Valentine's Day,"
Modern Family
"that from now on it is a crime..."
Modern Family
"Oh, no. I'm her husband, Dave."
Modern Family
"Listen, I gotta use the men's room."
Modern Family
"My bra. Oh, my G-"
Modern Family
"What do you say we take this upstairs?"
Modern Family
"This is so much better than cheesy garlic bread."
Modern Family
"I'm going over there. No, I got this."
Modern Family
"[Chattering Stops] And this is what's wrong with the world today."
Modern Family
"until the little guy says, "Enough.""
Modern Family
"Shame!"
Modern Family
"Well, happy Valentine's Day, counselor."
Modern Family
"Okay? Phil?"
Modern Family
"I do. Hey. Is your coat stuck?"
Modern Family
"Why don't you take it off? Um, I'm freezing cold."
Modern Family
"Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy? Hey."
Modern Family
"Why don't you take off that coat? Um, I'm chilly."
Modern Family
"You wanna go back in? No."
Modern Family
"No, no, Dad. Dad, I'm fine. Come on!"
Modern Family
"[Phil] You okay? Yeah. I'm good."
Modern Family
"Bye. Good night."
Modern Family
"Sorry. See you, guys."
Modern Family
"[Claire] Hi, honey."
Modern Family
"that the Sienna was built with the whole family in mind?"
Modern Family
"Happy Valentine's Day."
Modern Family
"Oh, happy Valentine's Day."
Modern Family
"[Clicks Tongue] Aw! Oh!"
Modern Family
"[Jay] I like it. Nice fit."
Modern Family
"Swanky material."
Modern Family
"Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money. [Both Laugh]"
Modern Family
"Your turn. Okay. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"This is my favorite day in America. Happy Valentine's Day, gorgeous."
Modern Family
"[Gasps] They're huge!"
Modern Family
"Oh, my God. Yeah, those will work."
Modern Family
"Beautiful. You can wear 'em tonight."
Modern Family
"I have a surprise. [Gasps]"
Modern Family
"Don't tell me you're finally taking me salsa dancing!"
Modern Family
"And who's David Brenner? Only a Vegas legend."
Modern Family
"Is he a magician? 'Cause I love magicians."
Modern Family
"He's a comedian. A comedian? It's Valentine's Day."
Modern Family
"I thought we were going salsa dancing, not to watch a comedian."
Modern Family
"The guy's hilarious. Okay, tell me one of his jokes."
Modern Family
"He doesn't do jokes."
Modern Family
"Does he have a mallet? No."
Modern Family
"So then how does he get hit in the head?"
Modern Family
"He doesn't get hit in the head."
Modern Family
"He- He makes observations."
Modern Family
"He tells the truth in a funny way."
Modern Family
"Come on. He's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times."
Modern Family
"Who the hell is Johnny Carson? Oh, for God's sake."
Modern Family
"And I won't lie- It isn't always easy."
Modern Family
"I mean, last week she thought Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers."
Modern Family
"No I didn't. It was a joke."
Modern Family
"I don't get it. Maybe that's because there's no mallet."
Modern Family
"[Mitchell] ...was to stay in Northern California."
Modern Family
"Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day."
Modern Family
"Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy. Happy Valentine's Day, Lily."
Modern Family
"[Clears Throat] Notice anything different?"
Modern Family
"Oh, that is cute. Cute?"
Modern Family
"We spent a lot of time on this. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"I don't see how. You just cut up one of your boas."
Modern Family
"Uh- Actually, no. We repurposed it."
Modern Family
"It was sort of a Bob Mackie meets Martha Stewart project."
Modern Family
"Okay. Well, we just thought it would be a nice surprise."
Modern Family
"It's hardly a surprise. I mean, you dress her up for every holiday."
Modern Family
"I was giving her a bath last night,"
Modern Family
"and I still saw traces of Martin Luther King behind her ear."
Modern Family
"- All right. Not in the spirit. We get it. - No, I'm-I'm sorry."
Modern Family
"No. It's adorable. I just-"
Modern Family
"I'm really nervous about my closing argument."
Modern Family
"Oh, you've been rehearsing for weeks. You're gonna be great."
Modern Family
"Let's hope so. Hey, and I was wondering-"
Modern Family
"Since you're gonna be in court all day- You can open the chocolates."
Modern Family
"Score. [Doorbell Rings]"
Modern Family
"Hi, Dylan. Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy."
Modern Family
"Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet."
Modern Family
"You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old."
Modern Family
"Huh. Conflicted."
Modern Family
"Hey, baby."
Modern Family
"Hey. Take this sweet gift as a token of my affection,"
Modern Family
"my unending love and admiration-"
Modern Family
"Oh, my God. Yay, it's big!"
Modern Family
"[Gasps] Oh, my God."
Modern Family
"I love it. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Modern Family
"Seriously, you gotta put a black light on it. It'll blow your mind."
Modern Family
"Wow! Dylan, I didn't know you could paint. Oh, I didn't."
Modern Family
"I just took a photo and I put it through this program that turns it into a painting."
Modern Family
"Oh. Oh."
Modern Family
"So you two actually did..."
Modern Family
"that. Uh-huh."
Modern Family
"Yeah. Okay. Let's go put this over my bed."
Modern Family
"Not- No, no. Mm-mmm."
Modern Family
"You don't need to be in the bedroom at all."
Modern Family
"I'll take it."
Modern Family
"[Phil] Did he trump me? D-Money."
Modern Family
"You tell me. He made a painting out of a photograph one time."
Modern Family
"I have hand-picked a card,"
Modern Family
"drawn a heart in the steam on the medicine cabinet,"
Modern Family
"and taken Claire to Fratelli's,"
Modern Family
"a family-style Italian restaurant,"
Modern Family
"for 17 years in a row."
Modern Family
"Yeah, he got me. He got me."
Modern Family
"[Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
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