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Clips from NewsRadio - The Trainer (S03E03)

"What'd you think the other kids would think?"
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"Well, I-I was--"
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"we were spies."
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"Yes."
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"That is remarkably stupid."
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"You poor misguided Canadian bastard."
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"I want out."
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"I quit."
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"That's one four-letter word I thought you didn't use,"
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"He might seem like a nice, big, cuddly, warm, fuzzy, you know,"
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"without getting his initials on it first."
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"I'm Ted Chambers' puppet."
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"Okay?"
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"He's Wayland Flowers, I'm Madame."
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"I'm scared of the guy, most of the time."
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"Now, look, I'm sorry to have to put you in this predicament--"
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"[SCOFFS] Predicament."
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"I just think it's weird"
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"that we're even having this conversation."
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"I mean, this is us. You know?"
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"I mean, you and I,"
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"two halves of the coin, man."
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"No."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Where'd your family come over from, Joe?"
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"Italy."
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"Ireland. Catherine?"
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"Africa."
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"I, myself, am descended from the ancient Pilgrims,"
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"Portugal or someplace like that."
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"I'm having a little trouble with this artichoke that..."
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"But I think I've proven"
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"Thank you."
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"Excuse me?"
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"Listen..."
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"or that any member of my family is a spy,"
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"then you're way off-base!"
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"does not mean we are spies!"
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"Hey, what part of Africa are ya from?"
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"Shut up."
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"I guess I am. Thanks, that makes me feel better."
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"Okay."
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"We just wanted to apologize."
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"Me too. Me too."
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"And stop stealing office supplies."
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"I've never taken a girl to the Dave-cave."
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"What's up with the gym bag, dude?"
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"Wait'll I tell my friends that my personal trainer"
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"is the Bill McNeal."
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"My name's Vic. I'll be helping you out today."
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"for these remarkable three and a half years"
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"and good grace and a strong heart."
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"Huh? Huh?"
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"[ALL LAUGHING]"
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"If Ted Chambers' Total Workout was a belt,"
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"Spa, weight-training, yoga classes, step classes."
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"What about parking?"
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"Parking's extra."
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"You know what I love about the gold?"
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"[WHISTLES]"
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"Here, read this."
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"Out loud."
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""Total access--" Stop."
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""Total access...""
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"No, of course not."
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"Oh, sure, all the time."
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"Really? Is he here today?"
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"do a little brain jam on this thing."
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"Hoo, I better put on my cup."
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"This guy's playin' hardball."
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"I'm not supposed to do this, but, uh..."
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"I'm knockin' 35 percent off your price."
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"Oh, wow. Why?"
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"'Cause I like gettin' myself in trouble."
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"Okay, that's 35 percent off of what exactly?"
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"Uh, the membership price?"
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"Yeah, I know."
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"Ted Chambers' official T-shirts."
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"Because I am a sucker"
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"for a shock jock."
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"No, but you do, don't you? Huh?"
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"Gettin' under people's skin, get 'em all riled up."
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"but before we sign anything,"
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"Mini-tram. What?"
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"Whoa! Look who I ran into."
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"Bill McNeal."
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"What can we do for him?"
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"Er, is he serious about getting fit?"
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"I sure am, Ted."
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"I could make this guy my special project."
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"Wow!"
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"So...where do I sign?"
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"Welcome aboard, Al."
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"Bill. Right."
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"Cash, traveler's checks, credit card,"
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"whatever's easiest."
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"Because I have to fax his credit information"
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"It's privileged information."
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"It's incredibly confidential."
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"So do not tell him I let you look at it."
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"Oh, wow, look at that."
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"[SNICKERS]"
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"Would you put chess club on your résumé?"
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"who couldn't get in the chess club."
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"Look, here's the problem."
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"The problem is, I'm supposed to sit on the dais"
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"at a presidential charity fundraiser tonight."
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"The problem is, I'm sitting next to President Bill Clinton,"
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"king of America. What if I spill something?"
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"Don't worry. It's not like the president"
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"Never mind. Said too much already."
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"Well, sir, you know,"
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"I spent years cultivating the worst table manners"
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"on the planet."
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"You don't get it, do you?"
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"No, but...you know,"
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"You intimidate the guy you're dealin' with"
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"Oh, hell yes, I've cut millions off of deals"
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"on table etiquette."
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"Great. When's my first lesson?"
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