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Clips from NewsRadio - The Trainer (S03E03)

"MAN: How do I put this? Uh..."
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"gold membership would be the buckle."
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"Spinning."
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"Nothing's left out."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Nothing."
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"Sounds good, doesn't it?"
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"That's all well and good. I'm worried about the price."
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"'Cause we do have the silver package."
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"One caveat, though: That doesn't include spinning,"
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"Does Ted himself work out here?"
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"Hey, why don't you guys"
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"Take your time."
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"Listen, Vic, exactly how much is this gonna cost?"
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"[GIGGLES] Here."
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"Obviously, you're the brains in the crew."
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"I'm kidding. I'm kidding."
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"Hey, hey, hey..."
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"How 'bout a little contraband? Oh..."
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"But seriously, hey, you serve a function."
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"I appreciate that,"
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"Did you see it? You have mini-tram?"
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"Ted. Wow."
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"Thinkin' of joining."
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"VIC: What?"
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"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight."
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"Uh, yeah. Wow."
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"[WHISPERS] This is freaky. He, like, never does this."
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"[LAUGHING]"
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"So how do you wanna take care of this?"
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"Who do I make it out to?"
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"No personal checks."
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"[♪]"
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"Hey, what's that?"
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"Uh, ahem, it's Dave's personal file."
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"Heh. Then why are you goin' through it?"
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"over to his new bank."
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"Matthew-- It's Dave's personal file."
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"It is private."
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"I know. It just rubs it into all the people"
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"Well, that's great. What's your problem?"
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"Yeah, try tellin' that to..."
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"Who?"
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"Please, for you own safety, would you just go?"
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"I've had dinner with you dozens of times,"
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"No, they are not fine. What, are you kiddin' me?"
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"I've grown accustomed to that."
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"Uh-huh. And then that's effective?"
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"by eatin' baked beans with my hands."
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"Well, clearly you just need a refresher course"
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"Whoa, that's weird. Look at that."
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"That looks very official to me."
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"What if it's not?"
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"Bill. What?"
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"Bill. Just found out something really weird."
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"Look, people, I'm sure what you have to show me"
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"but I don't have the time."
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"Bill, no, no... You have to..."
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"It has to be a mistake."
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"Oh, oh, I can't believe this."
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"we all ready for your first training session?"
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"Sure am, Ted. Excellent."
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"is 90% of any training program."
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"Absolutely. Okay."
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"Well, I like to start off with the bench press,"
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"All right."
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"Now, I'm gonna start you off light,"
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"You're the guy who sold me the membership. But, uh..."
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"No. Come on."
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"And shock..."
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"Yep. Have a seat."
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"Dave, make-believe's for little girls"
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"Yeah, well, I do."
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"to join that Ted Chambers Gym."
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"But then he disappears,"
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"Salad fork, dinner fork, dinner knife, butter knife."
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"Something else..."
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"Yes, yes."
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"Catherine, please, not at a time like this."
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"and the mouse took the cheese."
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"so what if he's Canadian?"
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"One time I dated this guy for three months,"
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"Was she Canadian also?"
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"Always talkin' about how he's from the Midwest,"
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"the heart of America,"
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"where all the real Americans live."
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"Now this."
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"and then you found out something about him"
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"that you didn't know?"
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"It's about Dave. MATTHEW: Yeah."
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"Dave's gay?"
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"We didn't know if you knew or not."
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"Who didn't know that?"
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"You're Canadian?"
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"No. Yes, you are."
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"If you have nothing to hide, say "about.""
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"I don't know if you have that right."
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"Oh, Canadian. Oh. Yes."
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"and, uh, technically, I-I was born in Canada."
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"Uhhh, you know,"
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"It sounds like it's a bit of a big deal to me."
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"Uh-huh, look, I-- I hardly even remember Canada."
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"of a very clean state-run daycare facility,"
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"and that's about it."
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"what you were doing when you were five."
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"and found out I could do long division in my head--"
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"I recall the conversation."
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"I still don't know why it's such a big deal."
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"Yes, yes, I'm Canadian,"
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"and at night I patrol the streets of Gotham City"
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"You know, yesterday I would have known you were joking."
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"That looks delicious."
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"I didn't. I just didn't think it was a big deal."
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"Look, I'm a Canadian."
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"Who cares? I don't."
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"Mm-mmm."
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"Are you sure?"
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"Then talk to me."
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"Well, when we first moved to the States when I was a kid,"
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"I was worried about what the other kids would think"
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