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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"No, forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher."
Archer (2009)
"Maybe ever again. Some dry toast?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Then I think I took a cab."
Archer (2009)
"Hang on, wait! Let me see some hands!"
Archer (2009)
"Lana and Cyril bailed."
Archer (2009)
"Here. Unless you're a trifling bitch too."
Archer (2009)
"Sweet shitsnacks, look at those!"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Oh, my God! That's right!"
Archer (2009)
"It's somewhat coming back to me."
Archer (2009)
"Plus, my valet will give you some heroin."
Archer (2009)
"But I do remember her being the best sex I've ever had in my life."
Archer (2009)
"...and hopefully also from what was hands down the most incredible sex..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, right, so, uh, I know, uh, we had an implied oral agreement about heroin, but--"
Archer (2009)
"Well, you say that, but I worry that you think I'm exaggerating when I say--"
Archer (2009)
"That I was the best sex you ever had? No."
Archer (2009)
"Pam, look at me. I will literally murder you."
Archer (2009)
"Not literally. Yes, literally."
Archer (2009)
"That's 150 gallons..."
Archer (2009)
"...of Pam's hot, dirty, ball-slappiney--"
Archer (2009)
"And I hoped I would never have to say this..."
Archer (2009)
"Hitting on your dead colleague's widow..."
Archer (2009)
"...at his own wake! Oh, that."
Archer (2009)
"...sometimes I think that I've failed as a mother."
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. Seriously, how can you be drinking after last night?"
Archer (2009)
"What? How do you know about that?"
Archer (2009)
"What? That's awesome."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, ISIS getting an inside look at every single KGB operation in the world?"
Archer (2009)
"And that's awful how?"
Archer (2009)
"I actually did forget that. Yeah, I never see you together."
Archer (2009)
"But you do see one another?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, yes, of course, but-- But never in public, right?"
Archer (2009)
"Lana? I'm sorry?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, all right."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, don't answer yet, because I'm also reassigning you to Siberia."
Archer (2009)
"Well, Barry can't have you moping around here, you know..."
Archer (2009)
"Even when you're chopping through the ice in the toilet so you can poop?"
Archer (2009)
"I'm kidding, obviously."
Archer (2009)
"Well, he's not staying with me."
Archer (2009)
"Who hunts dogs?"
Archer (2009)
"And Barry doesn't like!"
Archer (2009)
"Being made an ass, he really doesn't."
Archer (2009)
"And as you can-- Well, it's over there now..."
Archer (2009)
"...but the telex from the Siberia desk says Jakov never showed up."
Archer (2009)
"I promised myself I don't cry."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, what was that?"
Archer (2009)
"Aw, nice one, other Barry."
Archer (2009)
"Now Jakov's got a 12-hour head start..."
Archer (2009)
"Contact our sleeper in New York and then cancel all my meetings this week..."
Archer (2009)
"Murdering people."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, don't take this the wrong way..."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Ha-ha-ha! Why that is funny?"
Archer (2009)
"And maybe a son."
Archer (2009)
"Maybe. But-- But, so, where is he?"
Archer (2009)
"Lana, listen, if this is a booty call, I'm flattered, but--"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: You're supposed to be guarding Nikolai!"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, so, uh, about that, I mean, don't you think that's gonna be kind of..."
Archer (2009)
"The camera's set up for debriefing and one of us will relieve you in eight hours."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, a town called work."
Archer (2009)
"Since otherwise he'd kill you?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, when was, uh...?"
Archer (2009)
"So, da, this is a little awkward."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Any time now."
Archer (2009)
"Just pretend he's like a rabid dog."
Archer (2009)
"...and fif-- Forty thousand bucks in a floor safe."
Archer (2009)
"And was also identified as a sleeper agent by the head of the KGB."
Archer (2009)
"Only if I can defect too."
Archer (2009)
"I should have been there for you."
Archer (2009)
"How would you know? I know, right?"
Archer (2009)
"And my place is currently flooding, so... Hotel."
Archer (2009)
"Damn, no money. Tracksuit, no pockets."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, but you have to promise that all that horrific stuff..."
Archer (2009)
"Cross the microchip in my heart."
Archer (2009)
"Heading out?"
Archer (2009)
"With Burt Reynolds. We're watching Gator."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Your place?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, if we go out, you know, he's just mobbed, so..."
Archer (2009)
"But in meantime, you think I will be safe?"
Archer (2009)
"CHERYL: Well, here it is. BARRY: Neat."
Archer (2009)
"Can I see your neck a minute? Oh, Barry."
Archer (2009)
"Barry? Barry. Barry."
Archer (2009)
"...who cares if he wants to keep it on the D.L.?"
Archer (2009)
"Because who's to say you're not using him for sex?"
Archer (2009)
"Goddamn it. What?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait for it."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Leave it!"
Archer (2009)
"...as he does into those idiot voicemails..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, killing you. Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha. Oh, Marmaduke."
Archer (2009)
"Which I'm sure would provide him with some much-needed closure..."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, why, what is that?"
Archer (2009)
"Now I'm setting the timer for five-- Oh, heck, let's call it 10 minutes."
Archer (2009)
"It can only melt. And when it does--"
Archer (2009)
"Spark from fork, gas from stove-- Boom."
Archer (2009)
"And this, this is your master plan? Huh? Heh."
Archer (2009)
"This is just a goof. Later, tater."
Archer (2009)
"Barry? Was here?"
Archer (2009)
"So Barry brought me here-- How did he know where "here" was?"
Archer (2009)
"No idea, but then he strangled me, which at first was hot."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for-- Mother, this isn't voice-mail."
Archer (2009)
"The time is exactly 7:16, and I wish they were..."
Archer (2009)
"Duh. Where are you? What's all that...?"
Archer (2009)
"What's up? That was, uh... My, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"And it's all my fault because instead of doing my job, I was here..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Ugh. Oh, God. Ugh."
Archer (2009)
"Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails."
Archer (2009)
"No. No eggs, Woodhouse."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, or you could skip a step and feed me some vomit."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, you poor dear."
Archer (2009)
"On behalf of his fellow ISIS agents, please let me be the first to offer my condolences."
Archer (2009)
"And let me be the first to welcome you back into the dating pool."
Archer (2009)
"ALL: Drink, drink, drink!"
Archer (2009)
"Who wants chicken and waffles?"
Archer (2009)
"How did we bring food in here?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh. And also, did we lose some people?"
Archer (2009)
"Trifling bitches."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Oh!"
Archer (2009)
"What did I just put inside me?"
Archer (2009)
"Thankfully, I didn't have to share."
Archer (2009)
"But she did, she came home with me."
Archer (2009)
"I remember. I mean, Green Russians, it's fuzzy. I don't remember this."
Archer (2009)
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