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Clips from One Day at a Time - This Is It (S01E01)

"your blood pressure looks good."
One Day at a Time
"Alcoholic beverages per week?"
One Day at a Time
"Two, maybe three."
One Day at a Time
"Dr. Berkowitz will be here in a minute, okay?"
One Day at a Time
"Yes, I know."
One Day at a Time
"You went to Afghanistan for Christmas."
One Day at a Time
"I'ma give you a sec."
One Day at a Time
"- Oh! - There you go!"
One Day at a Time
"Yes, it was hot over there. You're welcome for my service."
One Day at a Time
"But any... anyways, we're separated."
One Day at a Time
"So, you're single."
One Day at a Time
"Yeah."
One Day at a Time
"I know. The hipsters have discovered Porto's."
One Day at a Time
"Line around the block is like the freakin' Apple Store now."
One Day at a Time
"I don't care if you like me."
One Day at a Time
"Sounds like you're both on the same page."
One Day at a Time
"She's been reading again. Why do you let her read?"
One Day at a Time
"Yeah, the bad part."
One Day at a Time
"You know, I'll have a little too much wine,"
One Day at a Time
"I'm not doing it."
One Day at a Time
"Ha!"
One Day at a Time
"I'll learn more Spanish when you learn English."
One Day at a Time
"I know the English."
One Day at a Time
"Good one, Mom."
One Day at a Time
"Monday through Friday."
One Day at a Time
"Oh, well..."
One Day at a Time
"Mom, I'm serious."
One Day at a Time
"- That sounds like poor. - We're not poor!"
One Day at a Time
"This meat was heavily discounted, so I need to cook it before it turns."
One Day at a Time
"She made ropa vieja."
One Day at a Time
"And here..."
One Day at a Time
"You know how much I appreciate your help,"
One Day at a Time
"I agree. So let's talk quinces."
One Day at a Time
"Yeah."
One Day at a Time
"Schneider!"
One Day at a Time
"Please tell me you're here to fix my sink."
One Day at a Time
"Yeah, fine!"
One Day at a Time
"That's very expensive Damascus steel."
One Day at a Time
"No, come on. Come on! No."
One Day at a Time
"Maybe after dinner. What's your mom cookin'?"
One Day at a Time
"Oh, by the way..."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, there's not, but I really wanna know what's going on!"
One Day at a Time
"because if my mom finds 'em, it'll be,"
One Day at a Time
""Ay, Dios mío, she's a junkie like the Amy Winehouser.""
One Day at a Time
"Elena!"
One Day at a Time
"You know what? Let me talk to her."
One Day at a Time
"Hey, girl."
One Day at a Time
"You down?"
One Day at a Time
"Schneider, she's gonna do it. I got this."
One Day at a Time
"'cause it's about to go down!"
One Day at a Time
"Mmm, listen kid!"
One Day at a Time
"A quinces is just about the village celebrating that you're a woman,"
One Day at a Time
"Oh, I got better moves than that, right?"
One Day at a Time
"It just means your family and your friends."
One Day at a Time
"- Oh, yeah! She's good. - Oh."
One Day at a Time
"Do you even hear yourself? Seriously!"
One Day at a Time
"So you want to crush my heart into pieces..."
One Day at a Time
"You even refused to take any pictures with Santa"
One Day at a Time
"Can't you do this one thing for your mother who loves you?"
One Day at a Time
"Mami, ."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, this was stupid! I'm still not having a quinces."
One Day at a Time
"Hey, I'm messin' with ya. She's just racist."
One Day at a Time
"It's just all on me now."
One Day at a Time
"Is this gonna be the one that scars them for life?"
One Day at a Time
"I know what I said."
One Day at a Time
"At least I'm safe for another year with the little one."
One Day at a Time
"Alex!"
One Day at a Time
"Because that is some Jesus crap right there."
One Day at a Time
"That's why I bought no pairs of sneakers."
One Day at a Time
"- clean enough to send back. - Oh, no?"
One Day at a Time
"Now, you get no new pairs."
One Day at a Time
"She did like that they were diverse."
One Day at a Time
"But make no mistake, when it comes to money,"
One Day at a Time
"Ay. Okay."
One Day at a Time
"you want me to be this strong, independent woman like you."
One Day at a Time
"that I think is a misogynist cultural ritual,"
One Day at a Time
"So just deal with it."
One Day at a Time
"And it's okay, Mom. It's something that helps."
One Day at a Time
"We live in America, name one!"
One Day at a Time
"Don't you think I miss him?"
One Day at a Time
"I miss the good stuff."
One Day at a Time
"Sometimes you just need somebody to give you a hug"
One Day at a Time
"I meant a man."
One Day at a Time
"Hey."
One Day at a Time
"Am I right?"
One Day at a Time
"but even the nuns would've made fun of me."
One Day at a Time
"First of all, we don't have a house, so there's that."
One Day at a Time
"And you're right,"
One Day at a Time
"Ah!"
One Day at a Time
"Puberty's gonna hit you like a train."
One Day at a Time
"Hello."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, it was mostly me."
One Day at a Time
"You do that again and I'll put my quinces tiara on you while you sleep,"
One Day at a Time
"I guess I wanted people to show up and say,"
One Day at a Time
"No, there's no people, that's just a thing that I said."
One Day at a Time
"We'll... we'll do the whole thing. The ceremony, the stupid waltz."
One Day at a Time
"I will dress like a child bride for you, Mom."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, now I feel like I should talk you out of it."
One Day at a Time
"Yeah, but I won't. I won't."
One Day at a Time
"Move over."
One Day at a Time
"- I'm going to spoon you. - No."
One Day at a Time
"- Yes, move over. - Mami, no!"
One Day at a Time
"Mmm."
One Day at a Time
"Okay, Carl,"
One Day at a Time
"Now we're gonna do the thing where I ask you"
One Day at a Time
"some basic health questions and you lie to me."
One Day at a Time
"Okay?"
One Day at a Time
"Why you lying to me, Carl?"
One Day at a Time
"Would you also like to lie to me about smoking?"
One Day at a Time
"I stopped smoking."
One Day at a Time
"Carl, the mouthwash works, but the shirt smells like..."
One Day at a Time
"Virginia Slims?"
One Day at a Time
"They make my hands look bigger."
One Day at a Time
"I'm not gonna write that down on the chart."
One Day at a Time
"Hey, uh, what's that picture? Is that Halloween?"
One Day at a Time
"Oh, no. I think this was closer to Christmas."
One Day at a Time
"But you're wearing army clothes."
One Day at a Time
"The camouflage look was all the rage in Afghanistan."
One Day at a Time
"- Let me ask you... - No, I never killed anyone."
One Day at a Time
"Anything else?"
One Day at a Time
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