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Clips from The Pagemaster

"Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something."
The Pagemaster
"The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches."
The Pagemaster
"Mercury levels in the tuna."
The Pagemaster
"Whatever."
The Pagemaster
"Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now."
The Pagemaster
"I think we could be a little more supportive."
The Pagemaster
"Supportive? I'm the most supportive father on earth,"
The Pagemaster
"but I'm running out of supportive things to do."
The Pagemaster
"I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy"
The Pagemaster
"with statistics about how you can develop tumors"
The Pagemaster
"from being hit in the head with a ball."
The Pagemaster
"Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs?"
The Pagemaster
"Claire, he brought in a medical journal. Nobody wanted to play after that."
The Pagemaster
"And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb."
The Pagemaster
"You know he hates heights."
The Pagemaster
"I don't know. I just want to be a good father."
The Pagemaster
"But you are a good father."
The Pagemaster
"I'm OK! I'm OK!"
The Pagemaster
"Aah! No, I'm not!"
The Pagemaster
"Hey. Rich!"
The Pagemaster
"Well?"
The Pagemaster
"You like it?"
The Pagemaster
"Uh, yeah, it's great, Dad."
The Pagemaster
"Hey, how about bringing me up that bag of nails?"
The Pagemaster
"No, come on up!"
The Pagemaster
"Look. Solid as a rock."
The Pagemaster
"Dad, eight percent of all household accidents involve ladders."
The Pagemaster
"Another three percent involve trees."
The Pagemaster
"We're looking at 11 percent probability here."
The Pagemaster
"Fine. Just put the bag in the bucket, OK?"
The Pagemaster
"- Rich. - Huh?"
The Pagemaster
"Ow!"
The Pagemaster
"Oh! Oh!"
The Pagemaster
"Dad! Do you have feeling in your toes?"
The Pagemaster
"Yes, I have feeling in my toes."
The Pagemaster
"Oh, Alan, honey, are you OK?"
The Pagemaster
"Yeah, I'm fine."
The Pagemaster
"Fine. Oh!"
The Pagemaster
"Can't argue with statistics, Dad."
The Pagemaster
"Statistics. Here's something you can do,"
The Pagemaster
"go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these."
The Pagemaster
"But, Dad..."
The Pagemaster
"Son, you can't live your life based on statistics."
The Pagemaster
"You've gotta take some chances."
The Pagemaster
"Now come on, buddy."
The Pagemaster
"You can do this."
The Pagemaster
"This is not good. Definitely not good."
The Pagemaster
"- All right! - Whoa! Good one!"
The Pagemaster
"You went further that time."
The Pagemaster
"- All right! Way to go, dude! - All right, line it up."
The Pagemaster
"Hey, guys, look, it's Richie Tyler."
The Pagemaster
"Hey, check out his clothes. Hey, Tyler, where you going, the moon?"
The Pagemaster
"Get cable in that thing, Tyler?"
The Pagemaster
"Hey, what's the matter, you chicken?"
The Pagemaster
"What's the matter, wuss, forgot your training wheels?"
The Pagemaster
"Uhh!"
The Pagemaster
"Uhh!"
The Pagemaster
"No cranial damage."
The Pagemaster
"Oh!"
The Pagemaster
"Hello?"
The Pagemaster
"Welcome to the library, young man."
The Pagemaster
"Don't tell me. You're here for a special book."
The Pagemaster
"- Mister... - Stop, stop, stop. Allow me to guess."
The Pagemaster
"I have a talent for guessing what people need."
The Pagemaster
"You're in need of..."
The Pagemaster
"a fantasy."
The Pagemaster
"Brave knights,"
The Pagemaster
"mythical fairies, ferocious dragons."
The Pagemaster
"Look, all I want is..."
The Pagemaster
"Adventure!"
The Pagemaster
"Of course. You're a boy who loves adventure!"
The Pagemaster
"Brimming with wicked demons,"
The Pagemaster
"cutthroat pirates..."
The Pagemaster
"No, no, that's not it."
The Pagemaster
"Horror!"
The Pagemaster
"Horror! Evil demons!"
The Pagemaster
"Wretched monsters! Haunted houses!"
The Pagemaster
"Graveyards!"
The Pagemaster
"Yes."
The Pagemaster
"It's horror for you, boy."
The Pagemaster
"I'm sure of it."
The Pagemaster
"Your library card, please."
The Pagemaster
"I don't have one."
The Pagemaster
"You do now."
The Pagemaster
"Sign here."
The Pagemaster
"Richard Tyler."
The Pagemaster
"Consider this your passport"
The Pagemaster
"to the wonderful, quite unpredictable world of books."
The Pagemaster
"But I don't want any books."
The Pagemaster
"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I only came in here 'cause of the storm."
The Pagemaster
"You mean you don't need..."
The Pagemaster
"Oh."
The Pagemaster
"I see."
The Pagemaster
"Is there a phone where I can call my parents?"
The Pagemaster
"Through there."
The Pagemaster
"Proceed in a northeasterly direction"
The Pagemaster
"until you get to the rotunda, and from there head west through the fiction section."
The Pagemaster
"And you'll find it. A public telephone. You can't miss it."
The Pagemaster
"Don't be afraid, boy. If you lose your way,"
The Pagemaster
"merely direct yourself back to the exit sign."
The Pagemaster
"Wow!"
The Pagemaster
"Jeez!"
The Pagemaster
"Whoa! Oh!"
The Pagemaster
"Hello?"
The Pagemaster
"Uh-oh."
The Pagemaster
"Huh?"
The Pagemaster
"Oh! Uhh!"
The Pagemaster
"Uhh!"
The Pagemaster
"Help!"
The Pagemaster
"Mister, mister, where's the exit?"
The Pagemaster
"Help!"
The Pagemaster
"Wha..."
The Pagemaster
"Huh?"
The Pagemaster
"I'm... I'm a cartoon!"
The Pagemaster
"You... are an illustration."
The Pagemaster
"Who... who are you?"
The Pagemaster
"I am the Pagemaster,"
The Pagemaster
"keeper of the books and guardian of the written word."
The Pagemaster
"You're the guy from up there!"
The Pagemaster
"Where are the others?"
The Pagemaster
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