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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Shitstorm (S01E01)

"-Dicks are good! -[Lionel] Oh!"
Human Resources (2022)
"I hope God's a dude."
Human Resources (2022)
"[ominous music playing]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[clears throat] Right then, well,"
Human Resources (2022)
"I suppose I'll just, uh, finish up here."
Human Resources (2022)
"[power clunking on]"
Human Resources (2022)
"-[Maury groans and coughs] -[sighing]"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, Connie, you saved me. -[sentimental music plays]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Of course I did, Maury."
Human Resources (2022)
"You know, today put a lot in perspective for me."
Human Resources (2022)
"Such as?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, I realized what I really want out of life."
Human Resources (2022)
"I thought I wanted total freedom to go be a hot adventure bitch."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh? -And I thought"
Human Resources (2022)
"a kid would get in the way of all that."
Human Resources (2022)
"But?"
Human Resources (2022)
"But the truth is,"
Human Resources (2022)
"I was right!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-What? Then why did you say "but"? -I didn't say "but," you said "but.""
Human Resources (2022)
"Fine, but that was still very confusing."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm sorry, I'll be clear, I don't want that fucking kid."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, I do."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, it's that baby, or this ass, Maury."
Human Resources (2022)
"You'd really do that? Take your whole ass away?"
Human Resources (2022)
"That's right. Make your choice."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, then, I guess I'm choosing to abort…"
Human Resources (2022)
"[inhales sharply] …this relationship!"
Human Resources (2022)
"What? But I'm the hot one."
Human Resources (2022)
"You made me choose."
Human Resources (2022)
"[voice breaking] Well, okay. Dumb choice, but I'm fine with that."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yes, I too am…"
Human Resources (2022)
"[sniffles] …totally fine with the choice that I made."
Human Resources (2022)
"In fact, I've just remembered that I have to go punch my car door for an hour."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, you should probably get going then."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah. Here I go."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[sad music playing] -[both crying]"
Human Resources (2022)
"-[Becca] Looking good, Doug! -Thanks! I can't see the sky anymore."
Human Resources (2022)
"Mmm, Barry's butt looks pretty great when he sweeps."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, it does."
Human Resources (2022)
"You know, you're getting really good at your job."
Human Resources (2022)
"Shut up, no, I'm not."
Human Resources (2022)
"Emmy, I-- I got my marriage back thanks to you."
Human Resources (2022)
"And the baby-love lately? [mimics explosion]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Sonya would be proud."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, I don't know. Let's be honest, no one's proud of me."
Human Resources (2022)
"But, you know, it's fine. I've accepted the kind of bug I am."
Human Resources (2022)
"And I'll never be a Rochelle or whatever, but who cares?"
Human Resources (2022)
"What's a "Rochelle?""
Human Resources (2022)
"[sighs] Not an Emmy."
Human Resources (2022)
"-You shut the fuck up with that right now! -Oh! Hi."
Human Resources (2022)
"[crying] I'm sorry that's how I've been making you feel."
Human Resources (2022)
"All small and shit? Fuck that."
Human Resources (2022)
"[crying] No, it's okay. It's not your fault."
Human Resources (2022)
"You're a cool goddess who of course I'm jealous of."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ew, I'm not a goddess."
Human Resources (2022)
"Man, I'm selfish and petty."
Human Resources (2022)
"Petty enough to lose the best bug I know."
Human Resources (2022)
"I love you. I missed you."
Human Resources (2022)
"I missed you. You saved my life."
Human Resources (2022)
"You are my life."
Human Resources (2022)
"[both sobbing loudly]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[Emmy] This is how it should be."
Human Resources (2022)
"[Lionel] …and then I picked up that live wire and I thought,"
Human Resources (2022)
""Whatever happens to Lionel, the Shame Wizard, me, so be it.""
Human Resources (2022)
"Did getting electrocuted hurt? 'Cause I got Vicodin."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, no, I was too focused on the mission to consider my own comfort."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[all applauding] -You're a hero."
Human Resources (2022)
"And I can't believe you did it all by yourself."
Human Resources (2022)
"No, I had no choice. Not after Gavin passed"
Human Resources (2022)
"in the, uh, in the manner I described."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ugh, imagine being so scared,"
Human Resources (2022)
"you slip on your own panic-piss and fall off a building?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Yes, that's exactly what happened!"
Human Resources (2022)
"A fitting death for a true coward."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[chuckles] -[all cheering and clapping]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[Gil sighs]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Always make room from the bottom, not the top, right, Joe?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Sure, some of the food would've been fine,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but a lot of it would've gotten sweaty."
Human Resources (2022)
"So, we did God's work today."
Human Resources (2022)
"We sure did."
Human Resources (2022)
"I think I've got it from here, mate. Bye, Pete."
Human Resources (2022)
"Dante, uh, wait."
Human Resources (2022)
"I just wanna say, you're an okay guy,"
Human Resources (2022)
"and you clearly love Rochelle, so we're good."
Human Resources (2022)
"No. No, no, no. We're not "good.""
Human Resources (2022)
"You're a secretly yoked dude who's into my girlfriend,"
Human Resources (2022)
"and you cut my fucking dick off. Eat shit, guy."
Human Resources (2022)
"[growls] Fuck him!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Rochelle! -Dante."
Human Resources (2022)
"Come here. Come here."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, I missed you so much, baby. -Mwah!"
Human Resources (2022)
"I missed you too. And all three of your friends."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[sobbing] About that. -Damn, you good?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, boy."
Human Resources (2022)
"Pete! Jeez, what the hell happened to you?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, the blood. Yeah, um…"
Human Resources (2022)
"There's context for this, both ethical and medical,"
Human Resources (2022)
"and I absolutely didn't want to, but I, um, cut off Dante's dick."
Human Resources (2022)
"Only because-- Oh!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-You're a genius, Pete. -Uh…"
Human Resources (2022)
"I don't tell you that enough. [gasps] Jesus, your arms."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Hey, lady, you got tube-mail! -[exclaims]"
Human Resources (2022)
"I got a new client? "Lucinda P." Oh, they sound fun."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[laughing] Um, you got a few new clients. -[mail clattering]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, no, no, no! No, these can't all be for me!"
Human Resources (2022)
"There's too many."
Human Resources (2022)
"A second Lucinda? Jesus."
Human Resources (2022)
"I cannot handle all this."
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, yes, you can, girl. You're an Emmy."
Human Resources (2022)
"[laughs nervously] Uh-huh."
Human Resources (2022)
"-["Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe playing] -♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ Oh! That's just the way That I feel, now, baby ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ Good God, I can't help it, uh! ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ Hey, that's just the way that I feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ Yeah ♪"
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"♪ Please, I can't help it ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ It's like I'm powerful With a little bit of tender ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
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