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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Spanish Inquisition (S02E02)

"Still, never mind, we can always do it again. Make a series out of it."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Now if you'll just sign there,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I'll put this through to our contracts department"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"and you should be hearing from them in a year or two."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Can you give me a lift back?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Ah - can do. But won't."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"We were wondering if we could possibly borrow your head for a piece of animation."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"What?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Oh jolly good. Thanks very much. You will get expenses."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Sergeant, somehow we've got to get in there and get it."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"- It's gonna be difficult. - You need some sort of diversion?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"- Sure, but what? - Well we could..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"It's got to be..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Wait! I've got it."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Well done, soldier."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"- Load and fire! - Yes, sir."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Fire!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Damn!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Ready? Aim!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Fire!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"We are not amused."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Gentlemen, our MP saw the PM this AM"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"and the PM wants more LSD from the PIB by tomorrow AM or PM at the latest."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I told the PM's PPS that AM was NBG so tomorrow PM it is for the PM nem. con."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Give us a fag or I'll go spare."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Now, the fiscal deficit with regard to the monetary balance,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"the current financial year excluding invisible exports,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"but adjusted of course for seasonal variations"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"and the incremental statistics of the fiscal"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"and revenue arrangements for the forthcoming annual budgetary period terminating in April."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I think he's talking about taxation."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Bravo, Madge. Well done."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Taxation is indeed the very nub of my gist."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Gentlemen, we have to find something new to tax."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I understood that."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"If I might put my head on the chopping block so you can kick it around a bit, sir..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Well most things we do for pleasure nowadays are taxed,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"except one."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"What do you mean?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Well, er, smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"but not ... thingy."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Good Lord!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"You're not suggesting we should tax... thingy?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Poo poo's?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"No."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Thank God for that. Excuse me for a moment."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"No, no, no - thingy."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Number ones?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"No, thingy."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Thingy!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Ah, thingy."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Well it'll certainly make chartered accountancy a much more interesting job."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I would put a tax on all people who stand in water..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"To boost the British economy I'd tax all foreigners living abroad."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I would tax the nude in my bed."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"No - not tax. What is the word? Oh - 'welcome'."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I would tax Racquel Welch."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I've a feeling she'd tax me."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Bring back hanging and go into rope."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I would cut off the more disreputable parts of the body"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"and use the space for playing fields."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I would tax holiday snaps."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"This is Uncle Ted in front of the house."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"This is Uncle Ted at the back of the house."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"And this is Uncle Ted at the side of the house."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"This is Uncle Ted back in front of the house, but you can see the side of the house."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"And this is Uncle Ted even nearer the side of the house,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"but you can still see the front."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"This is the back of the house, with Uncle Ted coming round the side to the front."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"And the is the Spanish Inquisition hiding behind the coal shed."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Oh! I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"In the early years of the 16th century"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"to combat the rising tide of religious unorthodoxy"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"the pope gave cadinal jimenez of spain"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"leave to move without let or hindrance throughout the land"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"in a reign of violence, terror, and torture"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"that makes a smashing film"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"this was the spanish inquisition"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Now, old woman!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"You are accused of heresy on three counts."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Four counts."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Do you confess?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I don't understand what I'm accused of."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Ha! Then we shall make you understand."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Biggles!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Fetch... the cushions!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Here they are, lord."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Now, old lady, you have one last chance."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"two last chances."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"And you shall be free..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Three last chances."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Right! If that's the way you want it."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess! Confess! Confess!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"It doesn't seem to be hurting her, my lord."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"- Have you got all the stuffing up one end? - Yes, lord."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Hm! She is made of harder stuff!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Cardinal Fang!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Fetch... the comfy chair!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"The comfy chair?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Well, we shall see."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Now. You will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time,"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"with only a cup of coffee at eleven..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"- Is that really all it is? - Why, yes lord."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we?"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess, woman."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess!!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Confess!!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I confess..."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Not you!"
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"I confess."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
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