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Clips from The Goldbergs - Crazy Calls (S04E04)

"If you don't help Adam, then you have failed as a mother."
The Goldbergs
"But that is my greatest nightmare."
The Goldbergs
"You gotta help me. Please."
The Goldbergs
"I told him I'd respect his boundaries."
The Goldbergs
"Guide me. It's what you're so good at."
The Goldbergs
"I know you're playing me for a fool,"
The Goldbergs
"but this fool has low-grade depression."
The Goldbergs
"So... I'll bite."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: While my mom was plotting to improve my social future,"
The Goldbergs
"Pop Pop was getting an earful about his past."
The Goldbergs
"MURRAY: You want to know why I slept with the lights on?"
The Goldbergs
"'Cause you took me to see Psycho when I was nine!"
The Goldbergs
"You owe me $17 for a lifetime of showering with the curtain wide open!"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, you want a message? I'll give you a message."
The Goldbergs
"I'll give you a big, fat message in your big, fat ears."
The Goldbergs
"POP POP: You think someone's gonna come after you in the shower?"
The Goldbergs
"Believe me, you have nothing anyone wants to see."
The Goldbergs
"- (BEEPING) - Fine. You want to talk, let's talk!"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: And, so began the great Goldberg answering machine war"
The Goldbergs
"of 1980-something."
The Goldbergs
"MURRAY: And you were so God-awful"
The Goldbergs
"that none of my friends ever wanted to come over and play with me!"
The Goldbergs
"POP POP: Friends? I had to pay the boy next door to be friends with you."
The Goldbergs
"So, you owe me a nickel for that, too."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: What began as one simple call from Pop Pop"
The Goldbergs
"quickly spiraled into an endless volley of very hurtful rants."
The Goldbergs
"MURRAY: There. I said it."
The Goldbergs
"You're a crappy dad and even a worse businessman!"
The Goldbergs
"POP POP: You think I'm implying you're a disappointment?"
The Goldbergs
"No, no. I'm saying it loud and clear. Disappointment."
The Goldbergs
"Again with the farkakte machine."
The Goldbergs
"I know. He's been tying up the phone line,"
The Goldbergs
"and I can't get any of my messages."
The Goldbergs
"What? No."
The Goldbergs
"I meant your dad and Pop Pop might be doing"
The Goldbergs
"serious damage to their relationship."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, please. They're fine."
The Goldbergs
"You are a trash heap of a human being,"
The Goldbergs
"and even a worse father!"
The Goldbergs
"He meant that with love, and..."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, crap. This went bad fast."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: It had been a week"
The Goldbergs
"since the great Goldberg answering machine war,"
The Goldbergs
"and my sister was tired of not getting any of her messages."
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: Tape full. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"My God! This thing between Dad and Pop Pop has got to stop."
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: Messages deleted. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Acting on her standard selfishness,"
The Goldbergs
"Erica decided to erase Pop Pop and end the war."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, I'm home. Nobody bother me."
The Goldbergs
"I need to check my messages."
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: No new messages. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"Hey, anyone call for me?"
The Goldbergs
"You know, like a telemarketer, wrong number,"
The Goldbergs
"angry grandfather?"
The Goldbergs
"- Nope. - Okay."
The Goldbergs
"- Good. Very good. - Yep."
The Goldbergs
"Guess there's no reason to tie up the phone lines now."
The Goldbergs
"Yep."
The Goldbergs
"I mean, no call from Pop Pop means you don't have to pay him the $17."
The Goldbergs
"- Yep, yep, yep. - You won."
The Goldbergs
"- I won. - Yep."
The Goldbergs
"- Big winner. - You won."
The Goldbergs
"Murray wins."
The Goldbergs
"And that is how you end an answering machine war."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I guess it is best for your father's sanity."
The Goldbergs
"Sure, sure, that thing."
The Goldbergs
"Also, I finally get to use the phone again."
The Goldbergs
"Hey! What do you think you're doing, you moron?"
The Goldbergs
"Making a phone call."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah. The machine is expecting a call."
The Goldbergs
"No one goes near this or stands in this area. Out!"
The Goldbergs
"(RECEIVER CLICKS)"
The Goldbergs
"Okay. Why the hell isn't he taking the win?"
The Goldbergs
"It's like he wants Pop Pop to call and rant at him."
The Goldbergs
"Crazy as it sounds,"
The Goldbergs
"I think your dad actually liked"
The Goldbergs
"chatting with Pop Pop through the machine."
The Goldbergs
"And now that it's done..."
The Goldbergs
"He's sad."
The Goldbergs
"That's nuts. Dad doesn't get sad."
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: No new messages. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: No new messages. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"My God. He's sad."
The Goldbergs
"- ROBOTIC VOICE: No new messages. - (BEEPS)"
The Goldbergs
"Fine. You made your point."
The Goldbergs
"We'll get them together and end this, once and for all."
The Goldbergs
"ROBOTIC VOICE: No new messages."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: My sister was determined to end the war."
The Goldbergs
"Meanwhile, my mom set off a nuclear bomb of embarrassment at school."
The Goldbergs
"There's the guy. Watch out."
The Goldbergs
"It's the Fighting Quaker of the Month."
The Goldbergs
"How is this a thing? What's happening to me?"
The Goldbergs
"What is happening is you're being celebrated"
The Goldbergs
"for your popularity amongst your fellow students."
The Goldbergs
"And one of the delightful spoils"
The Goldbergs
"is that you get to sit at this special table."
The Goldbergs
"It's for cool kids only."
The Goldbergs
"First of all, I like eating in the computer lab."
The Goldbergs
"Also, my mom clearly put you up to this."
The Goldbergs
"(LAUGHS) Popular and funny."
The Goldbergs
"Whatever. I'm going back to my computer game."
The Goldbergs
"And I'm taking this disaster with me."
The Goldbergs
"Where is he going? Why isn't he sitting at his cool new table?"
The Goldbergs
"Did you screw the pooch on this one, Andre?"
The Goldbergs
"No. Probably."
The Goldbergs
"Look. If the kid won't accept help"
The Goldbergs
"from his super-cool guidance counselor,"
The Goldbergs
"then he's just a lost cause."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: But my mom was never one to give up."
The Goldbergs
"When it came to her little schmoo, she always had the drive to succeed."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, Beverly, you're so "Krafty"."
The Goldbergs
"(LAUGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"Say cheese."
The Goldbergs
"I think we found the problem."
The Goldbergs
"Looks like someone wanted a little cheese with their Apple."
The Goldbergs
"- Nailed it. - BALL: Oh, come on."
The Goldbergs
"The sign clearly states no food in here."
The Goldbergs
"You kids know the rules. You are banned for lunch hours."
The Goldbergs
"But where are we supposed to go?"
The Goldbergs
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