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Clips from Family Guy - The First No L (S19E19)

"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old‐fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to The Today Show"
Family Guy
"with Matt Lauer sadly looking in the window."
Family Guy
"First up, Rachael Ray will be here"
Family Guy
"to help us with a simple Christmas recipe."
Family Guy
"(muffled): Can I come back now?"
Family Guy
"Then, Al will be in to get you ready"
Family Guy
"with your Christmas travel weather."
Family Guy
"Are you guys still sore at me?"
Family Guy
"We also share your best tweets about family visitors."
Family Guy
"I thought about what I did."
Family Guy
"(loud thud)"
Family Guy
"(groans)"
Family Guy
"(bleep) (grunts)"
Family Guy
"(bleep) (grunts) (bleep)"
Family Guy
"(Lois grunts, pants)"
Family Guy
"(groans, pants)"
Family Guy
"That looks heavy."
Family Guy
"Well, dragging a bin full of decorations down the stairs"
Family Guy
"while repeatedly yelling (bleep)"
Family Guy
"in front of my children means only one thing."
Family Guy
"It's Christmas time."
Family Guy
"Yeah, Lois, I knew it was Christmas a week ago"
Family Guy
"when the "O" in the PornHub logo became a wreath."
Family Guy
"- Same. - Nice."
Family Guy
"Listen, there's a lot of work to be done"
Family Guy
"to make this place look festive, and unlike most years,"
Family Guy
"where I do everything, this year I want you all"
Family Guy
"to help with the Christmas chores."
Family Guy
"Come on, Lois. You know the deal around here."
Family Guy
"We split everything zero‐100, like most couples."
Family Guy
"And I also have another request."
Family Guy
"I'd like to finally get a present"
Family Guy
"from the heart this year."
Family Guy
"Not just some defective clothing item"
Family Guy
"Peter got on clearance at Marshalls."
Family Guy
"But you love The Roling Stons."
Family Guy
"Now, to make sure you don't forget your chores,"
Family Guy
"I've made you each a list."
Family Guy
"And I want all of these completed by tomorrow."
Family Guy
"Sorry. I can't do chores. My trick elbow is acting up."
Family Guy
"- Is that your card? - No."
Family Guy
"Oh, boy, it's worse than I thought."
Family Guy
"Why are we doing our Christmas shopping at the strip mall?"
Family Guy
"'Cause we ran out of gas out front."
Family Guy
"You got to get that gas gauge fixed."
Family Guy
"Look, Chris, did you want the gas gauge fixed,"
Family Guy
"or did you want a year of Quibi?"
Family Guy
"The gas gauge."
Family Guy
"I'm sure we can find everything on Mom's list here."
Family Guy
"It doesn't look so bad."
Family Guy
"If this place doesn't have Baby Yoda toys, I swear to God..."
Family Guy
"I'll probably buy something with Spider‐Man on it."
Family Guy
"Okay, guys, now before you can shop at a strip mall,"
Family Guy
"you have to use the free‐standing ATM"
Family Guy
"that's chained to a pole"
Family Guy
"and not affiliated with any known bank."
Family Guy
"Good. It's taking an extra‐long time"
Family Guy
"to read the card and probably stealing the number."
Family Guy
"Select "yes" to pay $15 fee. No brainer."
Family Guy
"Perfect. Now I can't read the screen,"
Family Guy
"'cause the glare is so bad."
Family Guy
"And it's not giving me my card back."
Family Guy
"‐(phone ringing) ‐Hello?"
Family Guy
"Yes, this is Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
"Not anymore? Well, thanks for telling me."
Family Guy
"Look, there's a card and nice paper store."
Family Guy
"Let's go walk around it slowly and let out tiny farts."
Family Guy
"- (door bells tinkle) - (soft instrumental music plays)"
Family Guy
"Hmm. Nice, thick card stock."
Family Guy
"(squeaky gas expulsion)"
Family Guy
"Ah, yes, that's a very bright white."
Family Guy
"(squeaky gas expulsion)"
Family Guy
"Ooh, Century Gothic font."
Family Guy
"(loud, rumbling, gas expulsion)"
Family Guy
"Miss, this store is for tiny farts only."
Family Guy
"There's a Lids next door for that sort of thing."
Family Guy
"Welcome to the strip mall H&R Block."
Family Guy
"Yes, I'd like to do my taxes."
Family Guy
"- How much does H charge? - $59."
Family Guy
"Hmm. How much does R charge?"
Family Guy
"$59."
Family Guy
"Does R know H has a side thing going with M? H&M?"
Family Guy
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Family Guy
"Is H back from lunch yet?"
Family Guy
"Sorry. He said he was held up with a client."
Family Guy
"You were with M again, weren't you?!"
Family Guy
"What? No, I wasn't."
Family Guy
"Then why are you wearing a designer‐looking shirt"
Family Guy
"at a fraction of the cost?"
Family Guy
"Maybe I wanted to get caught."
Family Guy
"I told you what I'd do if I ever caught you cheating."
Family Guy
"This is on you!"
Family Guy
"Why?! Why?!"
Family Guy
"What's up? I was just taking a pee."
Family Guy
"Someone call?"
Family Guy
"Sometimes they let me write my own skits."
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to CBS This Morning"
Family Guy
"with Charlie Rose sadly pressed against the window."
Family Guy
"Coming up this morning, Christmas came early"
Family Guy
"for a group of first graders in South Bend, Indiana."
Family Guy
"(muffled): You guys still cross with me?"
Family Guy
"Hey, how was the big day of shop..."
Family Guy
"(sighs) Wait. Where's all the Christmas stuff?"
Family Guy
"Ah, yeah. About that..."
Family Guy
"I can't believe this."
Family Guy
"Brian, where's Stewie's Elf on the Shelf?"
Family Guy
"Meg, where's the twinkling lights I asked for?"
Family Guy
"Peter, where's the Christmas tree?"
Family Guy
"We don't even have a tree."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, Lois. I got it all under control."
Family Guy
"Don't you worry about a thing. I'll be right back."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
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