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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Has a Birthday! (S01E01)

"Well, I guess we ought to mosey on back to Durnsville."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tonight is more than just a party now, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's my favorite sentence ever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is a fresh start."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tonight is the beginning of my new life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My first year as a grown-up, on my own,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"living aboveground."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Right, aboveground."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know how sarcasm works, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did he leave?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Who? - You know, the cop out front."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I knew he was a screw by his dumb stupid face."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't worry, Kimmy ran him off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ah, that's my girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I tell everybody, "Hands off! Kimmy's a good kid."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She's no snitch.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Stop! Hammertime!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, were you joking about no presents?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'Cause there's no card."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did you get this for me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- I did. - Oh, here's the card."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Not. I did not."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Aw, clothes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, there's my birthday girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I love the shoes and the dress."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna look like one of those fancy ladies"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with the makeup who hangs out under the bridge."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, that's just the start of it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm giving you 30 gifts today."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like, more clothes or maybe a mix of fun things?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, you'll just have to wait to find out, won't you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So I'll see you tonight."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, and FYI, they're coming out with a new iPhone today,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"which means all our old phones are gonna completely..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Damn it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh, how do you even walk in these things?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, well, you know high heels were invented by a man, Kimmy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause no woman ever invented anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, I'm off to The Grind, and then I gotta head to work."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Have fun."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you gonna be back in time to help me set up for the party?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's boyfriend stuff."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Boyfriends arrive early and do all the boring stuff"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that no one else wants to do,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like getting ice or this conversation."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All right... a song about my friend Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's too hard. Why did I say song?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hello, pretty monster."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can I help you with your wrap?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the most erotic thing is,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"we haven't seen each other's faces."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't believe you invited a stranger to my party, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He's not a stranger."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I have real deep feelings for Torso."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I also don't know his name."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, tonight is about the birthday girl"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause you can't spell "Kimmy" without "me.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, you can. You have to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Make yourself useful"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and put together my party playlist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is this? Vanilla Ice?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hootie? Hanson?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mmm-nope, nope-n-nope Mmm-nope"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry I don't know Hanson's current hits, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I haven't been to a Sam Goody since 1998."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I will handle the music."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And it will all be from after the year"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Christina Aguilera started eating hot dogs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I still have a lot of stuff to do, and no Logan, by the way."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You were wrong about boyfriends showing up early."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, well, well."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tonight, VC stands for "Very Chic.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you, Mrs. Kimmy's friend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Do you think you could help me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need to sneak this bicycle inside."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, well, don't worry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Nobody's gonna wanna steal that hunk of..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, it's Kimmy's birthday present."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I made it myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, you didn't let me finish."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hunk of crap."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's rude to interrupt your elders."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm so sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's just, it took me weeks to make this,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"stealing parts from other delivery guys' bikes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, okay, I'll help you get it in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's what she said."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
""But how?" she continued."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm having a heart attack."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lillian!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Do not die on me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, my God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look at her color."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the smell."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She's already gone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, false alarm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A little gas."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dong, you're early."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I came to see if you need any help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're such a good friend. And I do need help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I just did laundry, and all my underwear is on the bed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Could you fold it for me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hello?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hello, I'm on my way."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Great. Could you bring some ice?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ice?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"As in frozen water?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's what boyfriends do, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All right, then. I'm off to the ice-ery."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why do you keep playing the same song over and over?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"These are all different."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can you not tell house from electronicon?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No. Can you at least play music that has words in it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I beat that bitch with a bat"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I beat that bitch with a bat"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't fix America."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I beat that bitch with a bat"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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