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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Birth (S01E01)

"-[instrumental music swells] -[indistinct chatter]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] Welcome to Human Resources."
Human Resources (2022)
"As a new employee at the most prestigious organization in human relations,"
Human Resources (2022)
"you are about to embark on an amazing adventure."
Human Resources (2022)
"Life down on Earth can be very complicated,"
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"and that's why people need us."
Human Resources (2022)
"You'll be assigned your human clients by the tube."
Human Resources (2022)
"I got Michael Bloomberg? Okay."
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] You'll have the opportunity to work with creatures"
Human Resources (2022)
"in many departments."
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"Your team members will be Hormone Monsters…"
Human Resources (2022)
"[chuckles] This is so hot. And she hasn't even used her tools yet."
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] …Shame Wizards…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, your wife is texting you about picking up your daughter from school."
Human Resources (2022)
"Did you want me to respond?"
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] …Lovebugs…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, my God. The love of your life is proposing to you at the Eiffel Tower."
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] …Depression Kitties…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Honey, Leonardo DiCaprio called. He wants his blood diamond back."
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] …Logic Rocks…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Jeremy, there's no reason to stand up yet."
Human Resources (2022)
"I promise you, you will get off the plane."
Human Resources (2022)
"[woman] And many more."
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"You are all essential workers who help make humans human,"
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"seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, 1,000 years a millennium."
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"This is Human Resources."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[static buzz] -Any questions?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Sorry, just want to clarify. The show's going to be like Big Mouth?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, Big Mouth meets The Office"
Human Resources (2022)
"is how we sold it."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, I'd watch that."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Mr. Dick Pinwheel. If not you, who?"
Human Resources (2022)
"["Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe plays]"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ So good, so good, so fuckin' real So good, so good, so fuckin' real ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ That's just the way you make me feel That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ It's like I'm powerful With a little bit of tender ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ Mess me up, yeah But no one does it better ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ There's nothin' better ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪"
Human Resources (2022)
"[birds chirping]"
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"[melodic music plays]"
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"Hey, Joe, I tell you my wife is all into energy work now?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, brother. -Yeah, exactly."
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"She says my "heart chakra" is all clogged up, whatever the fuck that means."
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"It's like, come on,"
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""Can't you just let me watch penis hockey in peace for Christ's sake?""
Human Resources (2022)
"-That was a game last night. -Good morning, gentlemen."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Maury, you heard about that new VR sex app the humans are into?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Whatever happened to yanking your old dick to an oil painting of a stacked milkmaid?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Those were the days, my friends."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm telling you, in 20 years, nobody's gonna fuck."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, please. You guys said the same thing when women discovered vibrators."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, well, I don't know. [laughs] It put an end to fucking in my house."
Human Resources (2022)
"[mellow music plays]"
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"Hey, Maury. What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?"
Human Resources (2022)
"What's that? Oh no, it's not my birthday."
Human Resources (2022)
"It's on the office calendar. Don't be weird."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ugh! Why do we always have to have treats for birthdays"
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"like we're all a bunch of fucking children?"
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"Sorry for trying to do something nice."
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"What a bitch I am, getting you cake."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, I fucking hate this job."
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"Becca, I'm afraid we're going to have to put you on bed rest"
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"for the last month of your pregnancy."
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"The fuck you are!"
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"-Excuse me? -Uh, sweetie--"
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"I start arguing a case on Monday,"
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"and I'll queef this baby out in the jury box before I'd miss it."
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"-She'll do it, Doc. -[growls] I need another option."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, there are no other options."
Human Resources (2022)
"We need to make sure your water doesn't break early."
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"-Oh no! What if the baby doesn't survive? -[tense music plays]"
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"Or what if it does,"
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"and it's born with a pointy head, and it can only wear Santa hats?"
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"[buzzing] What a terrible life!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Excuse me. Excuse me. Yes, floor is mine."
Human Resources (2022)
"Tito's crazy Santa hat fixation aside, this is a big fucking deal."
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"I know. That's what I'm saying."
Human Resources (2022)
"Speaking from the point of view of ambition,"
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"how's Becca supposed to make partner while she's stuck on bed rest?"
Human Resources (2022)
"And logically, this makes no sense."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hypertension doesn't even run in her family."
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"Who cares about that shit?"
Human Resources (2022)
"They're never gonna fuck again"
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"once that baby turns her pussy into Bolognese."
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"-Connie, gonna need you to chill out. -[chuckles]"
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"[snapping] Emmy, yo. You're getting all this, right?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh… Yep. Got it. Gettin' it."
Human Resources (2022)
""Pussy Bolognese." We got it."
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"Don't worry, Connie, they will have sex."
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"It'll just be less frequent and not as good."
Human Resources (2022)
"And the sex with Barry already wasn't very good or frequent, was it? [laughs]"
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"[mocking] "I'm Barry. I always announce when I'm about to cum.""
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""I'm cumming, I'm Barry.""
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"[laughing]"
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"I love her Barry even more than the real Barry. Barry's not cool."
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"Hey, knock it off. Becca loves Barry."
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"And she's gonna love this baby too because I'm doing my goddamn job"
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"and I need the rest of you to get on board."
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"-Okay. -Indeed."
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"That means no more kickboxing and no work. Petra, nod if you hear me."
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"Okay, fine, fine. But her delicate womb can still review briefs, okay?"
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"She's allowed to move her fucking eyeballs, right?"
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"[melodic music plays]"
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"Emmy… [clears throat] I'm going to be real with you."
Human Resources (2022)
"Your notes are crap, you spend all your time doing imitations--"
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"-Impressions. -Taking surveys…"
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"But everyone loves my "Would you rather" board."
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"It makes them want to come to work."
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"Work should make people want to come to work."
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"Yeah, but it doesn't."
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"Let me ask you something, do you even want to be a professional Lovebug?"
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"I guess? But, honestly, as long as I can still afford"
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"my nightly pizza-burrito with my friends, it's all Gucci, Stanley Tucci."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Emmy, shut the fuck up. What we do here is important."
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"It's not some bullshit job"
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"that exists just to pay for whatever a pizza-burrito is."
Human Resources (2022)
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