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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Move Fast and Break Things (S02E02)

"What do you do, sir?"
Mr. Mayor
"I do lighting for pornos."
Mr. Mayor
"Thank you for your service."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, I am sure that my fellow Angelenos"
Mr. Mayor
"want to see their mayor get back to work, right?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Boo! - Absolutely not!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, all right. Relax. - Oh, my God, Dad. Stop."
Mr. Mayor
"Get back in the line, Slenderman!"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, okay."
Mr. Mayor
"Hey, and when is your administration gonna do"
Mr. Mayor
"something about non-union hidden toilet cams?"
Mr. Mayor
"That's taking money out of my pocket."
Mr. Mayor
"[mellow quirky music] - God, this guy in the front"
Mr. Mayor
"is taking forever."
Mr. Mayor
"Why is everything in my life always so hard?"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, BTS performed at your birthday, but yeah, sure."
Mr. Mayor
"- Next. - Yes, it's my turn."
Mr. Mayor
"- Go get 'em. - Oh, thank God."
Mr. Mayor
"We'll be right here."
Mr. Mayor
"Knock 'em dead, sweetheart."
Mr. Mayor
"Is there something you need from me, Arpi?"
Mr. Mayor
"I need you to explain to me"
Mr. Mayor
"why you think our administration"
Mr. Mayor
"needs outside help from a bunch of Boss Babies."
Mr. Mayor
"Because if there's anything I've learned"
Mr. Mayor
"after a year in government,"
Mr. Mayor
"it's that we should do everything differently."
Mr. Mayor
"Hey, man, I'm your most progressive progressive."
Mr. Mayor
"America Ferrera told me to settle down"
Mr. Mayor
"at the Women's March."
Mr. Mayor
"Give me a break."
Mr. Mayor
"What does that mean? Give me a break?"
Mr. Mayor
"You say you're progressive,"
Mr. Mayor
"but what do you do every time I have a cool idea?"
Mr. Mayor
""We tried that in '86, sir.""
Mr. Mayor
""They're not fiscally sound, sir.""
Mr. Mayor
""How about instead of sushi drones,"
Mr. Mayor
"you know, we get pregnant women healthcare?""
Mr. Mayor
"You are as rigid as any Republican"
Mr. Mayor
"I have ever yachted with."
Mr. Mayor
"How dare you use yacht as a verb."
Mr. Mayor
"Do you think that I'm actually proud"
Mr. Mayor
"of that stupid bus lane?"
Mr. Mayor
"You think I want that as my legacy?"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm 73 years old, Arpi. I don't have time to waste."
Mr. Mayor
"Then let me help you."
Mr. Mayor
"I've been doing this for 30 years."
Mr. Mayor
"You think these guys can figure it out in a month?"
Mr. Mayor
"You see, let those kids go,"
Mr. Mayor
"and you, me,"
Mr. Mayor
"City Council President Kawachi, and Comptroller Pedrad"
Mr. Mayor
"sit down and have a long, less than $8 per person lunch"
Mr. Mayor
"where we explain to you again how a bill becomes a law."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, move fast and break things."
Mr. Mayor
"That's how we're doing it now."
Mr. Mayor
"No."
Mr. Mayor
"No, no, no! This cannot be happening."
Mr. Mayor
"- What? - I failed my test."
Mr. Mayor
"But you were so well-prepared."
Mr. Mayor
"It's so unfair."
Mr. Mayor
"I mean, the question was true or false,"
Mr. Mayor
"you should pump your brakes in an ice storm,"
Mr. Mayor
"but the manual says you do pump for regular,"
Mr. Mayor
"but you don't pump for antilock brakes,"
Mr. Mayor
"which means it's true and false."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, how about that? Yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, the test doesn't line up with the manual, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, and I can't retake it for seven days."
Mr. Mayor
"Of course you can't. Hey, way to go, government."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, nice use of all of our time."
Mr. Mayor
"Am I right? Yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, instead of being able to onboard our new coworkers,"
Mr. Mayor
"we all got to sit around"
Mr. Mayor
"and watch that guy eat yogurt with only his tongue."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm not sure about spoons."
Mr. Mayor
"The science isn't there yet."
Mr. Mayor
"Perfect!"
Mr. Mayor
"I hope we all flashback to this day on our deathbed."
Mr. Mayor
"How many miles of dental floss"
Mr. Mayor
"do you think Americans use in a year?"
Mr. Mayor
"[chuckles] Okay."
Mr. Mayor
"This is one of those consultant questions"
Mr. Mayor
"that you ask to see my thought process."
Mr. Mayor
"Love this. Thank you for the opportunity."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's find out."
Mr. Mayor
"328 million Americans,"
Mr. Mayor
"and not counting babies, the elderly, methheads,"
Mr. Mayor
"and celebrities who haven't had their veneers attached yet"
Mr. Mayor
"so they still just have those weird little vampire nubs."
Mr. Mayor
"About 40% of us have contiguous teeth."
Mr. Mayor
"That's 131 million mouths."
Mr. Mayor
"Each container of floss holds 12 to 18 yards."
Mr. Mayor
"You know I could have been you, right?"
Mr. Mayor
"You're not better than me. [softly] Take me with you."
Mr. Mayor
"Look, I know this process is annoying,"
Mr. Mayor
"and obviously you're gonna be fine."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, I know. But also what does that mean?"
Mr. Mayor
"Well, part of what we do when we start at a new place"
Mr. Mayor
"is we look for dead weight."
Mr. Mayor
"You fire people?"
Mr. Mayor
"We make recommendations to, usually."
Mr. Mayor
"You know, it makes the remaining staff feel chosen,"
Mr. Mayor
"but also a little off-balance"
Mr. Mayor
"in a way that increases productivity."
Mr. Mayor
"[scoffs] That's disgusting."
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah, but you have nothing to worry about."
Mr. Mayor
"If anyone should be nervous,"
Mr. Mayor
"it's the guy who failed the welcome video."
Mr. Mayor
"[distorted voice] Beep, boop, beep."
Mr. Mayor
"I am a government-powered robot."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, no, my beard is stuck."
Mr. Mayor
"Please help the robot."
Mr. Mayor
"Of course they want to fire Jayden."
Mr. Mayor
"I mean, we wanted to fire Jayden until he--"
Mr. Mayor
"wait, what made us not want to fire him?"
Mr. Mayor
"I think he Mrs. Doubtfire-d us."
Mr. Mayor
"I can't remember."
Mr. Mayor
"It doesn't matter. I run this place."
Mr. Mayor
"We do. We totally do."
Mr. Mayor
"And these B-school Scott Disicks,"
Mr. Mayor
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