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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Christmas Story (S03E03)

"People love Santa Claus!"
The Goldbergs
"Who knew?"
The Goldbergs
"I think everyone."
The Goldbergs
"And a Merry Hanukkah to you and yours!"
The Goldbergs
"Dad, what are you doing?"
The Goldbergs
"What's it look like? I'm handing out goodies for the holiday."
The Goldbergs
"If you're trying to be Hanukkah Harry"
The Goldbergs
"to rub it in my face, you've got it all wrong."
The Goldbergs
"No. I'm Hanu-Claus."
The Goldbergs
"I'm mashing two words together to make one offensive one,"
The Goldbergs
"just like you do."
The Goldbergs
"Now, who wants presents?"
The Goldbergs
"Me, Hanu-Claus!"
The Goldbergs
"Then prepare yourselves"
The Goldbergs
"as I dole out gifts from my sack of shame."
The Goldbergs
"No! Guilt has no place in our people's holiday."
The Goldbergs
"BEVERLY: Shame on you. I hope you feel guilty."
The Goldbergs
"Look! It's your Great-Grandpa Samuel Solomon."
The Goldbergs
"He crossed Poland with $2 in his shoe"
The Goldbergs
"so his traditions could live on here in America,"
The Goldbergs
"only for you to dismantle his dream."
The Goldbergs
"Fun!"
The Goldbergs
"I don't like Hanu-Claus."
The Goldbergs
"And what's this?"
The Goldbergs
"This jar stores all the traditions"
The Goldbergs
"you've passed down to your children."
The Goldbergs
"But it's empty."
The Goldbergs
"And look!"
The Goldbergs
"Why, it's a button, from the sweatshop"
The Goldbergs
"your grandmother worked in to put food on our table,"
The Goldbergs
"even though we didn't have a table."
The Goldbergs
"You had a table, Al."
The Goldbergs
"It wobbled!"
The Goldbergs
"My god."
The Goldbergs
"There's like 20 more super-sad things in here."
The Goldbergs
"And we're going through them all,"
The Goldbergs
"every last depressing one of them."
The Goldbergs
"Fun!"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As Pops was trying to put an end"
The Goldbergs
"to my mom's new traditions,"
The Goldbergs
"I was trying to get back at Barry for ruining ours."
The Goldbergs
"Go on. Do it already."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, I will do it."
The Goldbergs
"I've stuck my tongue to tons of different things."
The Goldbergs
"You're stalling. Come on."
The Goldbergs
"I triple dog dare you."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: There it was, the coup de grace of all dares,"
The Goldbergs
"the sinister triple dog dare."
The Goldbergs
"Barry had no choice but to accept."
The Goldbergs
"No fear!"
The Goldbergs
"That's right."
The Goldbergs
"You ain't going nowhere, bro."
The Goldbergs
"You've been ignoring me all week, but no more!"
The Goldbergs
"Looks like you'll be hanging out with your little brother,"
The Goldbergs
"like it or not."
The Goldbergs
"Really?"
The Goldbergs
"Original version?"
The Goldbergs
"Aw."
The Goldbergs
"No! No!"
The Goldbergs
"(GRUNTS)"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As Barry and I were airing our grievances,"
The Goldbergs
"Pops had decided to sing his."
The Goldbergs
"¶ On the fifth day of Hanukkah My daughter said to me"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Five backs a-stabbing"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Four neglected customs"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Three sellout children"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Two shameful parents"
The Goldbergs
"¶ And she spit in my face, too ¶"
The Goldbergs
"Put down the banjo, Dad. We get the point."
The Goldbergs
"¶ O Hanukkah bush O Hanukkah bush"
The Goldbergs
"¶ You crap all over our culture ¶"
The Goldbergs
"Everyone!"
The Goldbergs
"Okay, this was fun for a bit,"
The Goldbergs
"and then it got sad, and now it's just bonkers."
The Goldbergs
"Give it to me. Give me the banjo. No!"
The Goldbergs
"Just give her the banjo, Al!"
The Goldbergs
"No! Give it!"
The Goldbergs
"Give her the damn banjo, Al!"
The Goldbergs
"Give it!"
The Goldbergs
"Watch the candles!"
The Goldbergs
"Oh!"
The Goldbergs
"(GASPS) My Hanukkah tree!"
The Goldbergs
"My Christmas bush! Whatever!"
The Goldbergs
"Murray, do something! Move!"
The Goldbergs
"Are you happy now?"
The Goldbergs
"You ruined super Hanukkah!"
The Goldbergs
"How can I ruin something that's not even real?"
The Goldbergs
"Hi!"
The Goldbergs
"Hey!"
The Goldbergs
"Interesting tradition there."
The Goldbergs
"Can we come over and hear all about it?"
The Goldbergs
"What exactly does all this symbolize?"
The Goldbergs
"We suck at family, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"
The Goldbergs
"You don't suck at all, but we do."
The Goldbergs
"We, like, suck butt at family."
The Goldbergs
"The big suck."
The Goldbergs
"(BLEEP)"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah!"
The Goldbergs
"We do."
The Goldbergs
"(BLEEP)"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: It was hour two on the pole."
The Goldbergs
"It was freezing, but nothing could thaw"
The Goldbergs
"the tension between me and Barry."
The Goldbergs
"(GRUNTS)"
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH GRUNTING)"
The Goldbergs
"(DOOR OPENS)"
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH GRUNTING)"
The Goldbergs
"I've raised morons."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: That's the thing about family."
The Goldbergs
"Even though you may not say it clearly,"
The Goldbergs
"you know in your heart"
The Goldbergs
"they'll always be there for you."
The Goldbergs
"Hey."
The Goldbergs
"There any room for me?"
The Goldbergs
"Of course."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: And sometimes you just have to accept"
The Goldbergs
"that there's enough love to go around."
The Goldbergs
"You guys have some good brother time?"
The Goldbergs
"It was all right."
The Goldbergs
"¶ Who's naughty and nice"
The Goldbergs
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